Refuse to give up on self-image
When love first blooms, it is always as hot as fire, and sweet words are like honey, which is easy to intoxicate.
No matter what you become, I love you as before", I'm sure you've heard a lot of them.
However, as Eileen Chang said, "No woman is loved for the beauty of her soul." ”
No matter what age we are, we should cherish our external image and never give up. Even if you have a crush on someone, you should not pin all your hopes on him.
I once saw a piece of news:
Liu Yajuan, the former company executive, has a returnee background, is known as a school flower, has a graceful figure and a smooth sailing career, and was once the object of envy of everyone.
After returning home, she met a man who took good care of her. The man said affectionately, "I really wish you were fat, so you wouldn't leave me." ”
Liu Yajuan believed it, and during her pregnancy, her weight soared to 180 pounds. However, although the weight has decreased after giving birth, it is still 80 pounds heavier than before.
At this time, the attitude of the man changed drastically:
When you were thin, I could accept it no matter how willful you were, but now, I really can't stand it. ”
He once promised to like her no matter what she became; Now it's him who can't stand it because she's fat.
The ending of the story is embarrassing, Liu Yajuan finally became a single mother.
As sung in the song "Life with You": "How many people have loved your youthful and happy hours, loved your beauty, false or sincere." ”
People's hearts are fickle, and we should not underestimate the speed at which promises deteriorate.
By the time you decide to give up on your image, emotional backdrops have crept in.
Maintaining the delicacy of life and maintaining a decent and generous appearance is not to please others, but to become a better version of yourself.
Refusal to renounce independence
Tu Lei once warned: "Men often say before marriage, 'I am responsible for making money to support the family, and you are responsible for being beautiful like a flower', such a promise, don't believe it easily." ”
The "I raise you" in men's mouths often becomes the biggest illusion in their emotions.
In recent years, with the popularity of dramas such as "Langya Bang" and "The Pretender", Liu Mintao has once again entered people's field of vision.
As early as the age of sixteen, she has already shown outstanding acting skills, and every time she plays the role, she must be the heroine.
However, at the peak of her career at the age of thirty, she chose to quit the entertainment industry because her wealthy businessman husband didn't like her to "show up".
So, she put down her work and devoted herself to the family, becoming a virtuous helper to her husband and a good mother to her daughter, but she only lost herself.
She was convinced that such a life would bring her happiness.
However, after seven years of living as a housewife, her husband, who was in business, became increasingly indifferent to her. She was alone at home, keeping her marriage in name only.
On a trip to Japan, she longed to taste a matcha ice cream, but because she had no financial **, she could only look at her husband's face, and finally had no choice but to give up.
Fortunately, she finally walked out of this widowed marriage and found herself again, no longer having to suppress her desires for others.
Many people wonder why a man's "I support you" can easily change to "I support you".
There is an explanation that the man's "I support you" is actually just providing basic living needs, just like the treatment provided by the recruitment unit.
If you want to have more, such as high-end cosmetics, designer clothes, concert tickets, etc., it depends on the mood of the "boss" (i.e. husband).
In marriage, the most terrible thing is not cheating, but stopping self-growth.
At all times, we should strive to become a big tree that constantly absorbs nutrients, keep cultivating, and become a better version of ourselves.
Don't be the one who depends on others, and don't give the leadership of your life to marriage or to others.
In this life, the best way for a woman to live is to "rely on herself".
Refuse to give unilaterally
On Zhihu, there is a thought-provoking question: "Why does the more you give, the more you hurt?" ”
Among them, a highly praised answer pierced the veil of reality: "Because the more you give, the greater the sacrifice, the more the other party often takes it for granted." ”
When a man swears to you, "I will be good to you in the future", he may just want you to give unreservedly, but he himself rarely acts.
Remember, don't gamble on a single word of "love" and invest in your feelings. Otherwise, you may end up like a sheep in the mouth of a tiger, and you will end up with bruises all over your body.
Recalling the story of Shen Dianxia and Zheng Shaoqiu, when the two first met, Shen Dianxia was already a well-known gold medal host, and Zheng Shaoqiu was just an unknown student. For Zheng Shaoqiu, Shen Dianxia retreated into the background and used her best ten years to run his career for him.
However, when Zheng Shaoqiu finally became popular all over the country, Shen Dianxia was betrayed. Zheng Shaoqiu blatantly cheated and was indifferent to the pregnant Shen Dianxia, and did not even show up in the hospital on the day she gave birth. In the end, their marriage ended in divorce, and Zheng Shaoqiu quickly married his rumored girlfriend Guan Jinghua.
Shen Dianxia's life was full of love for Zheng Shaoqiu, but she also became humble because of it. Her efforts were only exchanged for scars all over her body, what a sad ending!
Writer Wan Qiao once said: "Instead of believing in a man's ethereal promises, it is better to believe in the actual actions he can give you at the moment." Especially when this man only pays lip service but never puts it into practice. ”
A man who truly loves you will not give you blank checks, he will prove his love for you with practical actions and strive to make you feel his care and warmth.
And you, first of all, learn to love yourself enough, only when you have enough love, can you have the strength to love others. Your contribution should be based on an equal and mutually respectful relationship, and you will come and go and maintain together.
I deeply appreciate Gao Xiaosong's words:
So, what counts as a good relationship?
The simple answer is that it makes us each a better version of ourselves. This is the true meaning of feelings, whether it is a brief encounter or a lifelong commitment.
In the years of youth, we may feel that love is the whole of life, but with the precipitation of the years, we will gradually understand that the meaning of life itself is far more than any relationship.
The durability of feelings is never maintained by impulses and passions, it requires rationality, wise choices and careful management.
Let's remember that there is no shortcut in life, and the same is true for feelings. No matter when and where, we should value our independence and growth, just as a bird cherishes its wings.
Lu Xun wrote in "Sadness and Death" that love needs to be constantly renewed, grown and created.
The same is true for marriage. May we all learn from this, encourage each other, and grow together. ”
Refuse to give up on self-image
When love first blooms, it is always as hot as fire, and sweet words are like honey, which is easy to intoxicate.
No matter what you become, I love you as before", I'm sure you've heard a lot of them.
However, as Eileen Chang said, "No woman is loved for the beauty of her soul." ”
No matter what age we are, we should cherish our external image and never give up. Even if you have a crush on someone, you should not pin all your hopes on him.
I once saw a piece of news:
Liu Yajuan, the former company executive, has a returnee background, is known as a school flower, has a graceful figure and a smooth sailing career, and was once the object of envy of everyone.
After returning home, she met a man who took good care of her. The man said affectionately, "I really wish you were fat, so you wouldn't leave me." ”
Liu Yajuan believed it, and during her pregnancy, her weight soared to 180 pounds. However, although the weight has decreased after giving birth, it is still 80 pounds heavier than before.
At this time, the attitude of the man changed drastically:
When you were thin, I could accept it no matter how willful you were, but now, I really can't stand it. ”
He once promised to like her no matter what she became; Now it's him who can't stand it because she's fat.
The ending of the story is embarrassing, Liu Yajuan finally became a single mother.
As sung in the song "Life with You": "How many people have loved your youthful and happy hours, loved your beauty, false or sincere." ”
People's hearts are fickle, and we should not underestimate the speed at which promises deteriorate.
By the time you decide to give up on your image, emotional backdrops have crept in.
Maintaining the delicacy of life and maintaining a decent and generous appearance is not to please others, but to become a better version of yourself.
Refusal to renounce independence
Tu Lei once warned: "Men often say before marriage, 'I am responsible for making money to support the family, and you are responsible for being beautiful like a flower', such a promise, don't believe it easily." ”
The "I raise you" in men's mouths often becomes the biggest illusion in their emotions.
In recent years, with the popularity of dramas such as "Langya Bang" and "The Pretender", Liu Mintao has once again entered people's field of vision.
As early as the age of sixteen, she has already shown outstanding acting skills, and every time she plays the role, she must be the heroine.
However, at the peak of her career at the age of thirty, she chose to quit the entertainment industry because her wealthy businessman husband didn't like her to "show up".
So, she put down her work and devoted herself to the family, becoming a virtuous helper to her husband and a good mother to her daughter, but she only lost herself.
She was convinced that such a life would bring her happiness.
However, after seven years of living as a housewife, her husband, who was in business, became increasingly indifferent to her. She was alone at home, keeping her marriage in name only.
On a trip to Japan, she longed to taste a matcha ice cream, but because she had no financial **, she could only look at her husband's face, and finally had no choice but to give up.
Fortunately, she finally walked out of this widowed marriage and found herself again, no longer having to suppress her desires for others.
Many people wonder why a man's "I support you" can easily change to "I support you".
There is an explanation that the man's "I support you" is actually just providing basic living needs, just like the treatment provided by the recruitment unit.
If you want to have more, such as high-end cosmetics, designer clothes, concert tickets, etc., it depends on the mood of the "boss" (i.e. husband).
In marriage, the most terrible thing is not cheating, but stopping self-growth.
At all times, we should strive to become a big tree that constantly absorbs nutrients, keep cultivating, and become a better version of ourselves.
Don't be the one who depends on others, and don't give the leadership of your life to marriage or to others.
In this life, the best way for a woman to live is to "rely on herself".
Refuse to give unilaterally
On Zhihu, there is a thought-provoking question: "Why does the more you give, the more you hurt?" ”
Among them, a highly praised answer pierced the veil of reality: "Because the more you give, the greater the sacrifice, the more the other party often takes it for granted." ”
When a man swears to you, "I will be good to you in the future", he may just want you to give unreservedly, but he himself rarely acts.
Remember, don't gamble on a single word of "love" and invest in your feelings. Otherwise, you may end up like a sheep in the mouth of a tiger, and you will end up with bruises all over your body.
Recalling the story of Shen Dianxia and Zheng Shaoqiu, when the two first met, Shen Dianxia was already a well-known gold medal host, and Zheng Shaoqiu was just an unknown student. For Zheng Shaoqiu, Shen Dianxia retreated into the background and used her best ten years to run his career for him.
However, when Zheng Shaoqiu finally became popular all over the country, Shen Dianxia was betrayed. Zheng Shaoqiu blatantly cheated and was indifferent to the pregnant Shen Dianxia, and did not even show up in the hospital on the day she gave birth. In the end, their marriage ended in divorce, and Zheng Shaoqiu quickly married his rumored girlfriend Guan Jinghua.
Shen Dianxia's life was full of love for Zheng Shaoqiu, but she also became humble because of it. Her efforts were only exchanged for scars all over her body, what a sad ending!
Writer Wan Qiao once said: "Instead of believing in a man's ethereal promises, it is better to believe in the actual actions he can give you at the moment." Especially when this man only pays lip service but never puts it into practice. ”
A man who truly loves you will not give you blank checks, he will prove his love for you with practical actions and strive to make you feel his care and warmth.
And you, first of all, learn to love yourself enough, only when you have enough love, can you have the strength to love others. Your contribution should be based on an equal and mutually respectful relationship, and you will come and go and maintain together.
I deeply appreciate Gao Xiaosong's words:
So, what counts as a good relationship?
The simple answer is that it makes us each a better version of ourselves. This is the true meaning of feelings, whether it is a brief encounter or a lifelong commitment.
In the years of youth, we may feel that love is the whole of life, but with the precipitation of the years, we will gradually understand that the meaning of life itself is far more than any relationship.
The durability of feelings is never maintained by impulses and passions, it requires rationality, wise choices and careful management.
Let's remember that there is no shortcut in life, and the same is true for feelings. No matter when and where, we should value our independence and growth, just as a bird cherishes its wings.
Lu Xun wrote in "Sadness and Death" that love needs to be constantly renewed, grown and created.
The same is true for marriage. May we all learn from this, encourage each other, and grow together. ”