You must have heard very often the term "cold violence", which means to make the other person feel psychosomatic through extreme indifference, and the opposite of cold violence, that is, "hot violence", those possessiveness, control, and monitoring in the name of love, even if they do not hurt others, have long been exhausted and suffocated.
This kind of person is often around, whether it is a friend or oneself, and can be the perpetrator of hot violence.
There are several traits that indicate a tendency to heat violence
01.Overly controlling your partner
The desire for control is too strong, unable to accept the untold autonomous actions of the partner, and requires messages to be read and returned every second, and reported all the time; Strictly control your partner's free time, and can't accept the other person's request to have your own space and time.
02.Invasion of your partner's privacy
Excessive involvement in the life of the partner, not respecting the privacy of the other party, and even to the point of surveillance, such as checking the mobile phone, sharing the location at any time, and asking for the password of the social media account.
03.Repeatedly confirm your partner's affection
In daily life, you will often put Do you love me? Hanging on the lips, often blaming the other party for the reason for the dispute is not in love, habitually questioning and blaming with love in an attempt to cause the partner's guilt, if there is serious friction, it will rise to the suspicion of cheating.
04.Interfere with your partner's normal social life
Suspicious of their partner's normal social interactions, they often preset their colleagues and friends as imaginary enemies because of their own insecurity, such as asking the other party to cut off contact with a friend and delete all contact with the opposite sex, which seriously interferes with the social life of the other half.
For every person who is hot and violent, there is a wounded soul
Why is there heat violence?
Heat violence is an unhealthy love pattern, related to unhealthy psychological state, mostly affected by childhood family, past traumatic experience related, often hot violence people are likely to be anxious attachment personality, because of the lack of love from parents in childhood, shaping a personality that is easy to suffer from gains and losses, insecure personality, often in the relationship in a state of emotional hunger, need to express strongly to feel loved, very afraid of losing each other, in order to cling to love and produce a strong desire to control, often make the other party feel suffocated.
Because there is an unhealthy partner relationship all around, under the influence of parents or relatives and friends, falling in love in the wrong way, thinking that this way of getting along is the norm, and you can't detect that you are wrong.
On the other hand, people with poor emotional management skills are prone to extreme behaviors because of emotional out-of-control when there is friction in the relationship and when they do not go their way.
People who usually have a serious tendency to heat violence have the fear of lovers gene, and must be carefully observed from daily interactions, if there are excessive physical behaviors at the same time as hot violence, such as smashing objects, threatening personal safety or wanting to give up their lives, they must be taken seriously, because it is likely to be followed by more violent acts in the future.
How to deal with heat violence?
Depending on the severity, there are methods that can be referred to
If the situation is not out of control, you can still try to make the relationship healthy, depending on the severity, there are a few possible ways, but if the situation is on the verge of getting out of control, don't force it.
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Make it clear that you will not accept any unreasonable demands
Make it clear that you don't like it, and don't accept any uncomfortable behavior that crosses the line, but don't just say no, but coordinate the boundaries that are acceptable to both parties. For example, when you can't read and return in seconds, you will say it first before you get busy; In the presence of both parties, it is no problem to share the phone screen.
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Put your safety and health first
In the face of a hot and violent partner, many people will be reluctant to hurt each other, long-term emotional blackmail, gaslighting effect suspect that they will eventually be physically and mentally exhausted and fall ill together. Prioritizing your safety and health, take a stand whenever you feel uncomfortable, and distance yourself.
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I really can't stand it, please break up
If you have tried various methods and the situation of hot violence still does not improve, please remember that any reluctance is now the spark that creates the heat of violence on the other side, then it is important to break up decisively, when a relationship has broken down badly, holding on to it will only cut your own hand.
Hot violence