Since birth, people have been making additions, the higher the education, the better, the bigger the house, the better, the more money, and the wider the friends, the better. It is undeniable that addition does make our lives better, work more smoothly, and interpersonal harmony better, but if we do more, we will inevitably let our desires exceed our abilities, our needs exceed our needs, and our pressure exceeds our motivation.
At the end of the Ming Dynasty and the beginning of the Qing Dynasty, there was a book "Solving People and Yihe", and the description of desire in the book can be described as three points:
Running around all day long just to be hungry, only to be full and thoughtful. I have enough food and clothing, and I want to be beautiful and beautiful. The beautiful wife of the district gave birth to a son, and hated that there was no land and no foundation. Buy a lot of farmland, in and out of the boat less horses to ride. The head of the trough buckled the mule and the horse, and sighed that he had no official position and was bullied. became a county magistrate, and he wanted to hang purple clothes in the middle of the court. If the world wants to be satisfied, except for Nanke's dream.The addition of life has brought us endless benefits, made us famous, and made us suffer;Let us be like a fish in water, but also let us lose both. If you want to live an easy life, you have to start subtracting for life. Incorporate subtraction into your life, establish a list of subtractions, subtract excess desires, subtract superfluous goals, and subtract ineffective socialization, so that you can live more easily and comfortably.
Desire is the most primitive instinct of all animals, and the desires of animals other than humans are mainly physiological needs and safety needs, and people will pursue the needs of life after satisfying these basic survival needs, but on the road of pursuing life, the excessive pursuit of desire will not only consume more mental and physical strength, but also form a backlash against oneself if you are not careful, and fall into the abyss of no return.
When people reach middle age, they are basically stereotyped, they should already have them, and it is difficult to get the estimates that they don't have, and they try their best to pursue apples that can't be picked even if they can't jump up
Japanese society promotes a concept called "end-of-life", which is the activity before the end of life, which is a bit like a bucket list. The average life expectancy of Japanese people is well known, but their entire life begins in middle age:
At the age of 40, he began to give up a large number of items.
At the age of 50, he disposed of 90% of his favorite sports equipment and tools, such as racing cars and mountaineering.
At the age of 60, deal with real estate and furniture, leave a simple and easy to manage and convenient transportation, or simply rent a small house that is convenient for living and tidying up. Organize the bank passbook*** credit card, etc., and keep only 1 bank card that is most convenient.
70-80 years old, dealing with cars, began to live completely dependent on public transport. Handle collectibles such as artworks and antiques, and get out of the attachment to hobbies. Streamline and process the album, leave a minimum**, and leave a copy for the child in electronic format.
After the age of 80, gradually terminate the ID of various networks (such as mailbox, **Alipay, Youku, Kugou, etc.), leave only one electronic payment, and dispose of most of the pots and pans and other daily necessities at home. Dispose of the last property and all the communication tools.
The family has thousands of acres of fertile land, but three meals a day, even if there are hundreds of mansions, but three feet of sleep. The more abundant the material, the more our desires swell, and the desires will overdraw one's health, and if the health is gone, all the gains will be meaningless. If you have no desire, you will be strong, and you will not be burdened by too many desires, and you can live a very chic life even if you are middle-aged.
From childhood to adulthood, we have always been on the road to setting goals and achieving goals, in elementary school, we were determined to be class cadres, in middle school, we were determined to be the first in the grade, in high school we were determined to be admitted to a first-class university, in college we were determined to be admitted to graduate school, and when we were in graduate school, we were determined to find a good job after graduation. After working, we were determined to make a lot of money, to buy a house and a car, and after working for many years, we had a new goal.
It can be said that the goal accompanies our life, and without the goal, there is no meaning in life. But sometimes, we want to achieve too many goals, and we don't know where to start, which one to complete first, which one to accomplish later, or bothMany of us have a choice barrier, and when there are many options, we don't know how to choose, or even don't make a choice, just like the donkey of Buridan, standing in the middle of two piles of forage, one on the left and one on the right, because he didn't know which one to eat first, and starved to death.
If you have too many goals you want to achieve, you can take a piece of paper and pen and write down the goals you want to achieve, for example, if you write 20 goals, then please cross out 15 now, keep only 5, cross out 2 from these 5 goals, keep the 3 you want to achieve the most, and then combine what you are good at, what you love, your own network resources, and market demand to achieve your goals.
In fact, there are very few life goals that can be achieved throughout life, but less is more. Life is like investment, investors with good long-term returns are definitely not diversification, but investing in a few companies with excellent quality during the production period, and life is the same, focusing on one or two goals for a long time will allow you to achieve higher achievements in a certain field.
I don't know if you've ever heard of a "rule of thirty-seven":
70% of the app in a mobile phone is not very open, a house, 70% of the space is idle, and similarly, 70% of your WeChat friends may not be in touch all year round except for the Spring Festival.
Once upon a time, we all thought that multiple friends had multiple roads, multiple enemies had many walls, and the more people we knew, the better.
There was a short film called "How Many Frequent Contacts Do You Have on Your Phone", and the people who participated in the experiment had thousands of friends in their newsletters, regardless of their work relationship, and in the end there were only two or three people left. Indeed, there are two or three hundred people in my own WeChat address book, and there are only two or three people chatting every day, these two or three people are the kind of people who have nothing to do with work, and they talk nonsense when they have nothing to do.
Some people are keen to socialize because they are afraid of loneliness, and use the liveliness of everyone to dispel the loneliness in their hearts, but they still have to endure the loneliness in their hearts after the song is over. When people reach middle age, they should streamline their circle of friends, refuse to eat, drink, have fun and waste time, and participate in more hobby socializing, hobbies and other socializations that are beneficial to themselves.
A person's energy is limited, and his ability is also limited, and it is impossible to grasp everything, but he can always grasp something that belongs to him. In the first half of your life, you can do addition, and in the second half of your life, you can start to slowly do subtraction, a little bit of renunciation, so that you will live more and more easily, and live more and more freely. The essence of life is a process from simple to complex to simple, life is a journey from nothing to nothing, and eventually everything will be lost. When people reach middle age, they learn to subtract from life, so that they can live more and more advanced, and live more and more simply.