Sick and reluctant to see a doctor, parents pay for debts, and their children dare not be good to themselves!
I don't want to see my parents"Debt repayment", the child does not dare to be kind to himself.
As the old saying goes:"The grace of education is greater than the grace of life. "Since ancient times, parents have been worried about the future of their children. If suffering can be substituted in heaven, I believe that many parents will not hesitate to bear the suffering for their children.
However, there is a word that appears in society -"Chinese-style parents"。Why?Although they are both parents, the differences in thinking between people are obvious. Although parents love their children deeply, we should all be grateful. However, some parents feel that their children lack gratitude.
Parents pay for debts and make their children sick, but they dare not seek medical treatment. Students know their parents' hard work and are willing to express their gratitude. However, some parents are like debt collectors, emphasizing any giving, demanding another form"Repayment"。
A typical example is when a middle school student only goes home once a month for vacation. His parents called ** in advance and asked him what he wanted to eat, and he said he wanted to eat braised pork. However, at the dinner table, his parents asked him to improve his position by 10 places in the next exam. This kind of requires students in another way"Returns"Can the practice of family dedication truly reflect the love of parents?
Similar examples are not uncommon. One netizen commented:"I felt like a parasite in my house"。She had a problem with her teeth for six months, but she was afraid to go to the doctor because she was afraid of owing money to her parents.
Parents blame their children for not going to the doctor. However, when the children went to the doctor, the parents said:"After spending so much money on your teeth, you must know that in the future we will be good to you when we are sick. "
How do people living in poverty find the courage to go to the doctor?These examples remind a lot of people of similar experiences. these"Debt collection"Does money really promote family harmony?
Parents become"Creditors"The reasons for this tend to be twofold. First of all, parents see their students as the result of their own labor and painstaking efforts, and invest a lot of money and energy in them.
Parents seek rewards and are eager to make their children aware of the hardships and hardships of their work. However, they don't realize that their parents' high expectations can stress their children as if they have given all the help"Cost"。
Children will feel uncomfortable because they are afraid to give anything to their parents and will always feel that they will want it in the future"Paying off debts"。This behavior of parents is actually very unwise, because they could have built a good relationship with their children, but their excessive desire to reciprocate has led to them becoming more and more distant from their children.
Secondly, this kind"Debt-based"Parents often originate from feudal thinking and regard parenting as such"Anti-aging"means. This selfish thinking leads to a lack of trust in children, like the relationship between an employer and an employee, inexplicably cautious.
Employees just want to get the job done and are reluctant to open up to their bosses. The benefits given by the owner are always"Take care of"Condition. However, such benefits should not be seen in the family, because without sincere communication, how can family members feel the presence of love
Children who have not yet paid off their debts end up alienating themselves from their families of origin. Some people believe that Chinese parents have their peculiarities in this regard, especially the previous generation of parents who were deeply influenced by feudal ideology. However, the more they want to use"Filial piety"to restrain children, the result is often counterproductive.
Many people have a bad family background, and they emphasize almost everything"Thanksgiving", everything rises to"Education"height. However, for children, it is because of their parents who persecute them"Paying off debts", they prefer to leave this home as soon as possible. Why do some people prefer to turn to their peers for help when they are in trouble abroad, rather than to their parents?
This is because in the environment in which they grew up, the help of their parents is always accompanied"Return the favor"expectations. However, these"Favors"In"Debt collection"In the eyes of parents, it may become a debt that cannot be paid off for the rest of their lives. They're like"Money lenders", so that children are discouraged.
Conclusion] There is no doubt that paternal love is a great gift, and fathers from families at the bottom of the pyramid have put in the hard work. However, if this kindness is seen as a transaction, it is no longer a genuine relationship between parents and children.
Children from disadvantaged families may find themselves in a helpless situation because they may not have access to adequate resources in their families of origin. However, simply because they accepted"Education"Some parents want their children to be alive"Debt"。This situation can easily lead to estrangement between family members.
Subject: Do you have such parents around you?