Parental love is inherently the best, this is the voice of all parents. Parents put a lot of effort into the healthy development of their children. However, some parents use "debt collection" payment methods, which increase the burden on their children and make them afraid to seek medical attention when they are sick. This will not only destroy the child's family relationship, but also deprive the child of self-care ability and space for development, so that the child will lose self-esteem and independence when he grows up.
Some parents focus on "paying off debts" in order to make their children feel grateful. Whether it is a holiday for a child, or a parent treating a child, there is a premise, that is, there will be something to repay in the future. This kind of behavior is actually a kind of oppression on the children, so that they are under great mental pressure. Not only do they bear the academic burden, but they also bear what their parents call the responsibility of repayment. This kind of family affection makes children feel constrained and dare not fly freely, and cannot feel the warmth and love of their families.
In addition, some parents see parenting as a way to "prevent old age", just so that their children can have a safe old age. Under such a feudal concept, there is a lack of real trust and communication between parents and children. In such cases, children rarely have the courage to tell their parents what they think and need, let alone their own distress. This kind of contract based on interests, not so much family as employment, loses the affection of kinship.
In this atmosphere, children gradually become distant, and they are more willing to talk to their parents about their problems than to ask their parents for help. In their opinion, the help of parents is accompanied by certain conditions, and they need to "return the favor". This kind of thinking can keep these children away from their parents and their loved ones. Some people simply do not go back in order not to reunite with their loved ones. This is not because they are cold or distant, but more because they are distrustful and worried about their families.
However, building a good family requires equality, trust and communication. As children, we must know how to be grateful and know how to love. However, any giving does not have to be duly rewarded, it must be based on equality and mutual respect. Parents should give their children enough time to grow up, and let them have their own thoughts and behaviors. Only in this way will our parent-child relationship be truly established, and our children will develop a sound and confident mentality.
In general, the "debt collection" method of payment should not be adopted. Parents need to understand that their children are more about love and support, rather than excessive expectations and pressure. Only by creating an equal and respectful family relationship between parents and children can children be inspired to bravely meet the tests of life and achieve their life ideals. Appropriate expectations and space for children to develop independently are a strong guarantee.
Introduction. Since ancient times, the nurturing grace of parents to their children has been immense. However, some parents use "debt collection" payment methods, which increase the burden on their children and make them afraid to seek medical attention when they are sick. This will not only destroy the child's family relationship, but also deprive the child of self-care ability and space for development, so that the child will lose self-esteem and independence when he grows up.
Parents "creditor" giving.
Parents believe that their children are not grateful, so they resort to a "creditor-style" method of giving. Whether it's treating a child or giving a ** to a child, there is a price. However, this commitment is indeed a burden on the children, who feel that they are rewarded for everything they do, and thus lose their gratitude.
Parents further alienate their children from their parents by abducting them. Parents want their children to understand their hard work and hardships, but they don't think about whether such reward-oriented behavior can teach their children to be grateful. In fact, this practice only places a greater burden on the children and makes them feel that they cannot truly speak up about their needs and concerns.
Parents' concept of "anti-aging".
Another factor that causes parents to become "creditors" is due to their inherent feudal attitudes. Some parents see raising their children as an insurance policy for their later years, rather than as a way for their children's happiness and health. Such selfishness makes parents lose confidence in their children, and produces an indescribable worry and defense. This interest makes the connection between the families more of an employment relationship than a close one.
Under the premise of equality, trust and communication, the relationship between family members should be mutual. The dedication of parents is selfless, and children should be grateful and loving. However, any giving does not have to be duly rewarded, it must be based on reciprocity and mutual respect. Parents should give their children enough time to grow up, and let them have their own thoughts and behaviors. Only in this way will our parent-child relationship be truly established, and our children will develop a sound and confident mentality.
In general, the "debt collection" method of payment should not be adopted. Parents need to understand that their children are more about love and support, rather than excessive expectations and pressure. Only by creating an equal and respectful family relationship between parents and children can children be inspired to bravely meet the tests of life and achieve their life ideals.