In the AA system of pension at her son's house, the 66-year-old aunt cried: I am not short of money, but I feel uncomfortable
There is a good saying that "one family does not speak two languages", but the reality is that it can be challenging for even the most united families to completely "speak two languages". Everywhere there will be complexities in interpersonal relationships, leading to intrigues. Perhaps those old people who live with their sons and daughters-in-law can understand this truth most profoundly.
The aunt, who is 66 years old this year, has been living in her son's home for more than half a year. Although life is worry-free, there are often disagreements, which leads to frequent disputes between the aunt and the family. In the end, the son and daughter-in-law had to take steps to directly demarcate the boundaries and implement a comprehensive AA system for expenses. Such a decision made the aunt feel very sad, and she said with a sad face: "I am not short of money, but my feelings are really complicated. "Next, we'll take a closer look at what specific things happened.
At the age of 66, I used to live alone in my hometown, but because I was lonely and lonely, I took the initiative to find my son, and he picked me up. I thought that retirement at my son's house would be a happy beginning, but I didn't expect to fall into another abyss.
Although I am old, I am still young at heart, I like to wear beautiful clothes and pursue avant-garde cosmetics. Maybe it's because I'm dressed too young, my daughter-in-law always praises me with a bit of yin and yang: "Mom, you're so young, younger than me."
At first, I didn't think about it and went about my life on my own. I love the fine living, shopping, cosmetics and the occasional nod to myself. There is a pension of more than 6,000 per month, and the life is financially worry-free.
Originally, there was nothing wrong with spending your own money. However, my son was dissatisfied with my shopping behavior and thought that I was spending money indiscriminately. Every time he bought something, he would reprimand him. After a long time, I didn't even dare to buy clothes, for fear of causing their displeasure.
I'll admit that I'm a bit excessive, the cabinets at home are almost unstuffed, and there are more cosmetics on the dresser than my daughter-in-law's. I also restrained myself, but my son and daughter-in-law found fault again, disgusted me with too heavy perfume, and accused me of wearing eyeliner every day, and I felt wronged.
Later, I simply ignored their opinions, how to live and how to live. Now, the contradiction really comes. We had a dispute before, but at least we maintained a superficial relationship. However, since I no longer cared about their opinions, they sometimes reprimanded me outright.
At the end of the day, my son and daughter-in-law and I have different philosophies about life. I spend how much I want, and my son is very economical, and my daughter-in-law is even tighter, and even the nearby vegetable market is too expensive, so I have to go to the wholesale market a few kilometers away to buy it, saying that it is cheaper there.
Despite our differences in our ideas of life, our spending is largely independent. I never spent a penny on my shopping, at most I just enjoyed my daughter-in-law's fried dishes and daily expenses such as electricity and water when we ate together. Although I don't care about it, my son and daughter-in-law may not be satisfied.
They often put on a face at me, which made me feel uncomfortable, so I confided in my friends. My friend gave me some advice, she said that the elderly nowadays should not just eat food and live in vain at home, but should take out some money to supplement the family. She told me that all of her monthly pension of 2,000 was given to her son, and I had 6,000 a month, and I hadn't given him a little bit of it, which was really excessive.
I thought about it for a moment, and she did have a point. The life of my son and daughter-in-law is very stressful, and it is difficult to even have some small enjoyment. And I shouldn't be squandering my money here, and it's no wonder they're not happy with me. I realized that I was too ignorant and should have given a portion of my pension to my son.
After chatting deeply with my friends, I made up my mind. When I got home that night, I told my son that I was going to give half of the 6,000 pension to him and his daughter-in-law. On the one hand, this is the cost of their own life here, and on the other hand, it is also to reduce their burden. As soon as I opened my mouth, my son and daughter-in-law looked at me in surprise, and then my daughter-in-law reacted quickly and hurriedly said, "Mom, what are you doing here, you really don't need it." The son followed suit.
I was very determined that night, I felt that I had to give them some of the money, otherwise I would not be able to live in peace in this house myself. Although I thought so in my heart, I still said as if I was sharing their worries and pitiing their hard lives. At my insistence, my son and daughter-in-law finally agreed to accept the money.
Since that day, my life has changed a lot better. Because my son and daughter-in-law have my 3,000 yuan, they no longer treat me coldly, and they are no longer so nervous when they go home, and they will take the initiative to call me "Mom". My son also bought me things many times, and my grandson also got some new toys. It's just that the daughter-in-law still maintains her previous habits and goes shopping at the nearby wholesale market, but she has a lot more smiles on her face.
This made me deeply embarrassed, it turned out that this money is really the lubricant to reconcile family relationships. Giving some money to their children really changed their attitudes. When I didn't give money, I always didn't speak so kindly, and after I gave money, even if there were some disputes, I had a softness. Although the family relationship has become harmonious, it is more difficult for me than before.
Although I currently have an income of 3,000 yuan a month, and my son is responsible for all the expenses of room and board, due to the reduction of my pension, I obviously feel that I am not spending money well. I used to travel without hesitation, even on clothes and travel. But what about now?Traveling has become a luxury, and even clothes can only be bought cheaply at nearby malls.
As the saying goes: "It is easy to go from thrift to luxury, and it is difficult to go from luxury to thrift." "It turned out to be true, and I was noticeably more cautious about spending my money as a result of the halving of my pension. To make matters worse, a group of friends I used to play with were full of contempt for my current financial situation. I felt uncomfortable.
Although I still have hundreds of thousands of savings in hand, it seems that I can't use it up, but for me, it is the "last bottom line" that cannot be shaken. After all, the pension can be spent and renewed next month. However, once the deposit is exhausted, it means that it is really destitute and irretrievable.
As a result, my daily expenses are now extremely limited, and even the goat milk powder that I usually like to drink is difficult to afford. I began to regret that maybe I shouldn't have given my son and daughter-in-law so much money. If I had only given them two thousand dollars, maybe I wouldn't be so poor now. The current situation is purely asking for trouble.
I'm a straightforward person, and whatever comes to my heart, my face shows it. I felt that I was short of money to spend and was in a bad mood, so I kept a straight face all day. Actually, I deliberately showed my son that they would ask me what was going on, and then I would be able to make a proposal to reallocate my finances, and maybe get more.
However, when I spoke with a straight face, my son and daughter-in-law were disdainful of me, but kept screaming. I continued to be cold, and they ignored me. The whole family was like this, and I started to feel a little too bored. Life could have been so good, why is it so complicated?So, sometimes I also act a little bit more enthusiastic.
However, whenever I showed enthusiasm, my son and daughter-in-law would become cold, and I didn't know if I was too sensitive or if they were hiding something from me. In short, our relationship has returned to its previous state, which seems to be harmonious on the surface, but in fact there is an undercurrent. I've become very sensitive, and any little thing makes me think about it for a long time.
In this way, as time passed, I became more and more uncomfortable, and although they knew that I was in a bad mood and had a bitter face, they continued to live their lives as if they didn't see it. To be honest, I'm feeling a little chilled. I give them 3,000 yuan a month, and now I am unhappy, but no one cares.
For a while, I felt a little hot and coughed all the time, suspecting that I was sick. So, I huddled in my room alone, worried about infecting my family. I was uncomfortable in the house and coughed incessantly, but what about my son and daughter-in-law?There was no sign of concern at all, just sitting on the couch watching TV, giggling.
I felt very anxious, and when I opened the door, I asked my son, "You don't care about your mother's cough like this?"When my son heard me come out, he didn't look back, he continued to stare at the TV and said with a smile, "Mom, what's wrong with you?"."I was immediately angry, I was so good to them in vain, I gave three thousand a month, and they didn't care if my mother coughed.
At that time, I couldn't care so much, and I blurted out what I shouldn't have said: "I gave you 3,000 a month for nothing, and now you don't care if my mother is sick like this." Later, the more I talked about it, the more I talked about it, and my son and daughter-in-law couldn't help but quarrel with me. After the quarrel, the son left a sentence: "Okay, I won't spend your money in the future, let's AA system." ”
Since that moment, my son and I have started the AA system. I volunteered to participate in their meals, even though I often brought them back to my room. Usually, my daughter-in-law will ask me for the money for the food, and I will pay it truthfully. This life made me feel dull, and I began to question whether my actions were too much. Although I am not short of money, the feeling in my heart is indescribable.