When solving extramarital affairs, we can't always spend energy on "it's all my fault", sometimes, the original partner is to learn, reflect less on yourself, and blame others more.
Because the affair is not your fault in the first place, you can't self-pua, so that you can deal with and respond to the problem more calmly and objectively.
So after encountering cheating, it is better to tear up the mistress, or to have a showdown with the cheating man.
Scarlett suggested that wives should solve the extramarital affair step by step, and doing these four points well is more conducive to solving the problem.
The first point is to face the reality that the other half has cheated bravely and rationally.
Don't think that the matter of a man cheating is such a terrible thing as the sky falling.
You have more than one marriage in your life, and you are not only a cheating man.
The reason why many wives have a hard time resolving extramarital affairs is because there are psychological problems in the first place.
I feel that cheating can ruin my life, and a man's cheating is a fatal problem.
I was scared from the beginning, and I was also afraid to deal with extramarital affairs, and even many original partners didn't dare to face men's cheating at all.
This is also the reason why many men have cheated for many years, and their wives are indifferent and don't seem to know.
Wives need to be brave and sensible in the face of the reality of men's cheating.
Cheating will indeed have a bad impact on your marriage and your life, but it does not determine what kind of life you will live in the rest of your life, and who will decide it yourself.
The second point is that the original partner needs to think calmly and find the real reason for the man's cheating.
Why do men cheat, this is a crucial question.
The vast majority of cheating men, they can't escape three reasons for cheating.
The first is that he is born to be more attentive, and cheating is a game in the world.
This reason includes some inertial cheating, cheating men for the sake of novelty and excitement.
The second is that the cheating man chooses to cheat because some needs are not met.
The relationship between the husband and wife has broken down, or the wife neglects the conjugal life, etc.
Cheating men have needs and are not satisfied, so they will choose to cheat and find a mistress to satisfy.
The third is that cheating men choose to cheat for the sake of profit and some benefits.
Now many juniors are the best value, and they can bring benefits to cheating men.
Wives know why men cheat, and on the one hand, they can know the problems within the marriage.
Is there any conflict between the husband and wife that needs to be resolved, and what problems affect the relationship between the husband and wife?
On the other hand, it is to see the essence of the cheating man and re-understand this side of the person.
You know the person well enough and know his weaknesses to be able to figure out how to take care of him.
Only by solving internal problems and cheating on the man can we solve the extramarital affair and put an end to the second cheating.
The third point is that the original match must learn to prescribe the right medicine and focus on solving the problem of derailment.
Why do men cheat, what type of mistress is, and what is the process of their cheating.
These are all things that wives need to understand clearly, and after understanding, they can continue to analyze.
Analyze the psychology of the cheating man, the purpose of the mistress, and find a way to solve the extramarital affair.
It's not that many of the original partners can't solve extramarital affairs, nor are they that the mistresses they meet are difficult to separate.
Instead, he didn't prescribe the right medicine, found a random method from the Internet, and directly used it in his marriage.
If the medicine is not right, it will not be effective, and it can worsen the problem.
What kind of mistress, how to separate, what is the psychology of the cheating man, how to make the cheating man take the initiative to give up the extramarital affair, these are all targeted problems, and the wives can analyze it clearly and prescribe the right medicine to better solve these problems.
In addition, when solving the problem, you must be focused, don't dwell on the emotional pain and discomfort first, focus on solving the problem, and wait until it is solved, and then solve the emotional problem.
Fourth, the original partner should remember to chase after the poor Kou Mo, and appropriately give the cheating man and the junior a way out.
Many wives like to kill juniors or cheating men.
It's just that I have to let the mistress stay here, the work is gone, the reputation is ruined, and some married juniors and wives have to make trouble until the mistress divorces.
This kind of practice does not leave a way back, Scarlett does not recommend.
Because you want the junior to quit, you need the junior to have a way out.
She broke up with her cheating man, and she has other things to do and a life to live.
It's not that there is nothing left, only the life-saving straw of the cheating man remains.
If you drive a dog into a poor alley, it will be devoured.
If the wives force the cheating man and the mistress, they are in a hurry.
They must have fought against the odds to get the last benefit for themselves.
The junior pestered the cheating man and did not let go, and the cheating man calculated that his wife would divorce directly.
It's all what cheating men and mistresses like to do when they have no way out.
So if you don't want to get into a predicament, you must not kill the mistress and the cheating man, and leave a way back.
In the end, Scarlett wants to say that solving the extramarital affair requires the original partners to understand the cheating man and the mistress.
It is more necessary for wives to understand yourself, what your strengths are, what your weaknesses are, whether your mentality is suitable for you to face extramarital affairs, and how to completely solve extramarital affairs.
Only by knowing oneself and knowing oneself can one survive a hundred battles, and only then can one solve the extramarital affair in a funny way without leaving too many troubles.
If you have any emotional confusion or marital problems, you can pay attention to Scarlett and chat about the specific situation in private messages.
I'm Sijia Yin, your exclusive emotional mentor, sharing emotional cases and helping you answer your questions.