At the age of 56, he receives a pension of 5,000 yuan per month.
Yesterday, my son's ** asked me to leave in a hurry to go to their house to support and take care of my children and grandchildren, because my daughter-in-law was about to give birth.
Originally, I planned to wait a little longer, leave in a few days, and wait for her to come back before giving birth, but my son's ** tone was tough: "Mom, why don't you come yet?".When I went to work, she didn't know what to do when she gave birth at home alone. If she gives birth early, and you are not around as a child's grandmother, she will blame you in the future. If you don't want to come, just let me know early and I'll find a babysitter in advance, but you'll have to pay part of the cost. ”
I glanced at my wife beside me.
My wife comforted me and said, "Okay, I'll send your mother tomorrow, don't be angry anymore." ”
* After hanging up, I had mixed feelings.
Actually, I'm afraid to take care of my children. Back then, after my son was born, my mother-in-law was basically helping, and it was her duty to put the child to sleep at night. When the child is hungry and crying, he will be brought to me to breastfeed, and after feeding, he will be picked up by his mother-in-law. Chores such as changing diapers are usually handled by the mother-in-law, and sometimes by the husband. I always feel dirty about my children's excrement, because I am a bit of a cleanliness person, so I hardly suffered anything during the time I took my son.
Recently, when I went online, I kept seeing various mothers-in-law complaining about their daughters-in-law's experiences, lamenting how hard and unpopular it was for them to help take care of their children. Not only do I have to take care of the children, but I also have to take care of the housework and cooking, and my son's family is not financially well-off, so I have to pay out of pocket. The most troubling thing is that it may also incur the dissatisfaction of the daughter-in-law.
These days, I often get scared about it.
If the situation is as stated on the Internet, then my future life will be very difficult.
Therefore, I was always conflicted in my heart and didn't want to go, but my son gave me an ultimatum, and I only went to the appointment.
I packed my bags, prepared a few sets of clothes, and brought some personal items. My wife looked at my reluctant expression, and he reassured, "Go ahead, how good it would be to help take care of the children, so that you don't have to do anything at home." I have to go to work every day and I don't have much else to do. Don't think too much about it, when you're busy, you'll feel better. ”
My wife's support made me reluctantly agree to him.
In the evening, I packed my bags, and my wife advised me to rest early. Looking at his face, I felt a little reluctant in my heart.
It's sad to spend so many years with my wife and now be separated. However, in desperation, his wife still has to continue to work, and he has not yet retired.
My wife looked at me with a melancholy expression: "Don't always think about it so much, Chunmei won't embarrass you." It's been good to go home for the New Year in the past two years, and I'll help with cooking. Don't listen to those people. ”
After chatting with my wife, I gradually fell asleep.
The next morning, my wife woke me up early: "Get up, hurry up, I've already made breakfast." It takes about two hours to get to their house, so you have to go early to catch lunch. ”
I had to get out of bed slowly.
After brushing my teeth, I had breakfast with my wife.
For so many years, every day my wife got up to make breakfast and woke me up. Now that I'm gone, I'm really a little out of Xi.
I don't want to get up so early to make breakfast in the future, and I don't like to cook, what should I do?I asked my wife.
My wife glanced at me: "Then don't get up so early, let my son make breakfast, and he will too." You can just make lunch and dinner, and you can eat it. Xi will get better and better. ”
He paused for a moment, and then said, "Alas, I have spoiled you for so many years, and now it is your turn to be a grandmother and help take care of the children." Only to find out that you really can't do a lot of things. Now, I don't know if it's good or bad. ”
I looked at him with tears in my eyes.
In fact, it's not life and death, it's just that I suddenly have to separate from my wife, which is really uncomfortable. He has pampered me for more than 20 years and cared for me in every way, and now it is really sad to be separated.
My wife packed up the dishes and chopsticks and helped me carry my luggage to the car.
Together, we get in the car and set off on an unknown journey.
Actually, I just can't get used to seeing my wife being so polite to my daughter-in-law, and she looks relaxed and happy, and I feel a little uncomfortable.
Wife: "I'm not tired yet, if you're tired, rest early, I'll deal with it, I'll stay with you all night today, and I'll go back early tomorrow." ”
I was glad to hear that my wife was willing to spend the night with me.
Well, then you stay another night. ”
After eating, I went to rest, and my wife went to wash the dishes.
With my wife by my side, I really feel like I don't have to worry about anything, and I feel very happy.
In the evening, the son came home, and the wife took the initiative to cook.
I was sitting on the couch watching TV, and my son said, "Mom, Dad is going back tomorrow, and you have to be responsible for cooking and taking care of the children." ”
Although I knew that I had to do this when I came, I was still a little upset to hear my son say such things.
I glanced at my wife, who was busy in the kitchen, and said, "Mom may not be able to do it, but she will do her best." ”
My son said to me a little toughly: "Mom, don't always count on Dad, you are not too young, you have to learn to share some things by yourself."
Did you know?You have to learn to be independent, and you can't always hope for your father, which is not good. ”
My son's criticism brought tears to my eyes.
When my son saw me crying, he smiled while feeling distressed: "Mom, I just remind you that when you help here in the future, you can do some things yourself, why are you so sad?".
And Chunmei people are very good and won't bully you. ”
I muttered, "That's what you think." ”
The son smiled again and said, "Mom, it seems that you have really been spoiled by your father." Tell you, you have to learn to grow up, you can't always rely on your father's protection, he will be gone tomorrow, what should you do?
Think about solving problems by yourself. ”
I didn't want to listen to it anymore, so I walked straight to my wife and threw myself into the busy cooking with him.
After dinner, my wife and I walked hand in hand. With a wife by your side, every moment becomes meaningful. Not long after I started walking, my son suddenly called**: Mom, come back soon, Chunmei has a stomachache, maybe she is about to give birth. ”
Hurried home, the son had everything ready. I asked my daughter-in-law, "Chunmei, do you have pain every few minutes now?"She replied, "Five or six minutes." The wife said nervously: "It's about to give birth, but the first child shouldn't be so soon." ”
My wife advised: "Hurry up to the hospital, it's not good to be born on the road." "We packed up and rushed to the hospital together. Nowadays, there are not many people who give birth to children in the obstetrics department, and when they enter the hospital, their son asks to live in a single room. Luckily, there are private rooms to avoid unnecessary disturbances. Although the cost of a single room is higher, we all agreed with our son's choice.
In the hospital, ** examined the uterine opening of the daughter-in-law and then pushed her into the delivery room. After an hour of anxious waiting outside, I felt a little tired and went back to the couch in the hospital room and lay down. Soon after, my wife called out to me: "It's born, it's born, you come quickly." I hurriedly got up and rushed outside the delivery room to see the newborn girl. Although I was a little lost in my heart, because I hoped to be a male treasure, my granddaughter was very cute, and her little hands were really small. **Take her away, I don't know what to do with it. My son followed, and my wife and I waited outside.
Half an hour later, the daughter-in-law also came out, and the first thing she said was: "What about the child?".I smiled and replied, "The child has been taken to the bath." "We went into the hospital room and the child was on the cot. **After explaining a few things, we left, leaving our own family inside.
The daughter-in-law said, "I'm a little hungry. My wife promised: "Then I'll go back and do it, and I'll send it later." The son said, "No, it's too late for you to go back now, I'll go directly to the night snack stall below to buy some lean porridge to drink." Dad, you don't have to be here, you can go back and rest, you have to go to work tomorrow. My mom and I can just be here. ”
I understood that my son said this for the convenience of his wife, so my wife was driven home. Although I also wanted to go back, my son saw me like this, and he said, "Mom, you can't go back with me, I can't take care of the children alone at night." My wife looked at me, "Yes, you can't go back with me." Chunmei needs to be taken care of, and the child needs it too. I could only watch my wife leave.
I couldn't sleep that night. Both the child and the daughter-in-law fell into a deep sleep, while the son appeared tired and fell into a deep sleep. I was alone, sitting staring at the ceiling, distraught.
Too tired.
I began to wonder what I would do if I had to spend my days like this
Early the next morning, my wife brought breakfast. He's leaving because he's going to work.
The hospital was kind to us, saying that if there was no major problem, we could go home to recuperate.
So, at about four o'clock in the afternoon, we went home.
When I got home, night was falling, it was almost time for dinner, and watching the children fall asleep peacefully, I had to cook it myself.
When I walked into the kitchen, my son seemed to sense my hesitation and came to me and said, "Mom, let me come." You worked hard last night, I'll take care of it and help you share some of it, otherwise you'll be really tired. ”
Looking at my son's thoughtfulness, I was a little moved. I hesitated and said, "You didn't rest well last night, you have to go to work tomorrow, so I'll do it." The son smiled and said, "Mom, I know that you don't Xi used to Dad not being around." When Dad went back, he specially told me not to let you suffer, and let me take care of you in the next few days. Hearing my son's words, I felt warm in my heart, it turned out that my wife really cared about me, he has always doted on me, but I didn't expect that now my son will take care of me for him, and I am very emotional. I laughed and said, "Your dad is really, why is he saying this to you." The son smiled: "Mom, Dad really cares about you." I'll cook. I said, "Let's be together, so it's quicker." ”
So, we cooked together. When I used to be at home, my wife always wouldn't let me cook. There were times when he didn't have time to go to work, so he would make it in advance and put it in the rice cooker so I could enjoy it just by heating it up. Sometimes, it is too cold outside in winter, and I feel uncomfortable going out to eat, and my wife will bring the food to my room for me to eat.
During my period, whether it is summer or winter, my wife does not let me touch cold water, worried that it will not be good for my health. In my rural hometown, every morning he would boil hot water, then wake me up and help me wash my face. He felt that I was warming my face by washing my face with hot water, so that my body did not feel cold after washing. So far, our relationship has been good and I am very dependent on him. It was as if my whole heart was on him, so it always made me feel very sad when I was separated. The meal was ready, my son brought it out, and as soon as I finished washing my hands, my wife called**. When I saw that it was his number, I was very happy. My wife asked, "Are you tired today?"I replied, "Tired, of course I'm tired, but my son helped with the cooking tonight." The wife smiled: "It seems that he is quite obedient." ”
I said, "Yes, I have to tell him about this little thing, which makes my son look at me strangely, as if he thinks I'm picky." My wife smiled and said, "Don't be afraid, after all, it's your own child." I said, "All right, we're all ready to eat." The wife said, "Okay, you eat, you eat more, don't be hungry, I'll come out to see you on the weekend." I said, "Don't be too loud, the children are here to see them." My wife smiled and said, "The main thing is to come to see you." "I blushed, and my son came to see me. I just talked to my wife and hung up. Just as he was about to eat, the child suddenly cried.
It looks like I'm hungry. However, the daughter-in-law currently has no milk and can only be fed with milk powder. I quickly got up and entered the house to find my daughter-in-law asleep. It was just past 6 o'clock in the afternoon, and she was able to sleep so soundly, which was really a bit untiming. Is she really so tired?She didn't take much care of the children in the past two days, and basically my son and I were worried about it. Why is she so snooze?Although I was very dissatisfied in my heart, I still picked up the child.
The daughter-in-law heard the voice and said, "Mom, why are you here?"”
I didn't want to pay attention to her, the child was crying, but she was asleep. I replied, "Did I come in just to keep an eye on you to sleep?"”
The daughter-in-law was a little aggrieved: "Mom, that's not what I meant." I said, "What do you mean?"I'm here to help you take care of the kids, why won't you let me into the room?”
Daughter-in-law: "No, Mom, it's okay, you can make milk for the child, he is hungry." ”
The son then came in and brought his daughter-in-law's confinement meal. He said: "Chunmei, you have worked hard, eat quickly, are you hungry?".Eating more is good for milk. Looking at his son's concern for his daughter-in-law, there was something wrong in his heart. Before my daughter-in-law got married, the whole family was dominated by me, but now that my daughter-in-law is here, my son's attention seems to have shifted all to her, and even his concern for the child has decreased. I said, "She was sleeping just now, how could she be hungry, will you be hungry when you sleep?".Son: "Mom, go and make milk, she gave birth hard yesterday, her body is still very weak, she needs to rest more, don't quarrel here." "I watched my son speak for my daughter-in-law, so I had to retreat.
After the milk was prepared, I brought it into the house and gave it to the child.
At this time, I saw my son wiping the sweat on his daughter-in-law's forehead with a towel, which was very detailed. The daughter-in-law enjoyed it.
I was displeased to look at it. I said, "Eat and eat, what kind of sweat do you wipe?"Daughter-in-law: "Mom, I don't know why, I've been sweating since giving birth, especially after drinking this chicken soup, my whole body is soaked, it's terrible." I'm going to take a shower tonight, you can help me boil some water. Son: "Okay, I'll cook it for you, ** said that it's better to bathe in wormwood water, you eat it first, and I'll burn it later." "I heard that she was going to take a shower and thought it was incredible. I haven't been confinement for a few days, and I actually want to take a bath, thinking that I can't wash for a month when I was confined. She had to scrub when she needed to, and she was only going to take a shower on her third day, which was incredible.
I said, "No, you can't wash it now, it's easy to get sick when you're old." And it's not too hot now, don't wash it. By the way, this air conditioner shouldn't have been turned on in the first place, who turned it on?Son: "Mom, don't always look at the present with the thoughts of the past, how can people now, not take a bath?"**I also said that you can wash it, just don't catch a cold. Don't worry, I'll wash it for her, and I won't let her catch a cold. ”
I became even angrier when I heard this.
I said, "No, you can't wash it for her, if she has to, let her wash it herself, but don't blame me if she feels unwell in the future." ”
The daughter-in-law was a little aggrieved: "Mom, I don't blame you, I'll wash it myself, you just boil me water." ”
The son looked at his daughter-in-law unhappy: "Mom, you go out first, don't come in if it's okay, why do you say so much?"Let Chunmei have a good rest. "After the child finished drinking, he quieted down, and I carried him out.
After a while, the son came out with dishes and chopsticks. The son's expression looked a little dissatisfied. After a while, he spoke: "Mom, Dad has repeatedly told you not to suffer, and I hope so, but your words just now are a bit excessive, Chunmei is still in confinement, why do you say so much?"Do you understand, what you say affects her mood, and when her emotions are affected, it will be more difficult for her to produce milk. Mom, I hope you can talk less in the future and concentrate on taking care of the children. "I really didn't expect that I came to help take care of the children, and my son actually criticized it. I really couldn't stand it and gave up. But he was my only son after all, and I couldn't bear not to help.
Me: "Okay, I'll do as you say, listen to your wife, and don't care about your mother anymore." ”
Son: "Mom, I didn't mean that, you also know that she is in confinement now, don't say this to her again, say so many things she doesn't want to hear."
If it were me, I would be unhappy too. ”
Me: "Okay, I'll shut up in the future, when I'm dumb." ”
After that, I walked straight into the room, and my son didn't say anything more.
Soon after, he told me to get up and bathe the child.
I was so tired: "Wash him yourself, if it doesn't work, just wipe it with a towel." ”
Mom, we are here for you to help, not to serve you, if you don't want to help, go home, we can't afford to provoke you, the Buddha. ”
Me: "Okay, I'll just wash it." ”
So, I stood up and bathed the child.
I thought we'd get through this peacefully.
Unexpectedly, just a few days after the confinement, my daughter-in-law actually said that she would not let me live in their house.
It was an unusual Saturday morning. My son didn't have to go to work, so he left in a hurry early in the morning, leaving a message telling me to remember to breastfeed my grandson.
Two hours later, he returned home with a somewhat serious expression. "Mom, don't live with us in the future, just move downstairs, I've already rented a house for you. It's good for you and for both of us. "This sudden proposal made me a little stunned, obviously I volunteered to come over to help take care of my grandson, but actually asked me to move out, how can this be reasonable?I asked angrily, "Did Chunmei let you do this?"She can't tolerate me in confinement?The daughter-in-law looked a little helpless: "Mom, it's not what she meant, it's my idea." I think that's good for you. First of all, if you don't live here at night, you can have a better sleeping environment. Secondly, sometimes you talk too much, and I think it's good to live separately. Besides, you chat with my dad every night, and everyone won't bother if you live separately, and it can also avoid conflicts between you and Chunmei, killing two birds with one stone. I asked him indifferently, "Are you really up to the decision?"He replied firmly: "Yes, the houses are all rented." ”
I sneered: "Okay, you are really experts, what you want in the future is your wife, not me, drive me out of the house." ”
The son patiently explained: "Mom, how many times have I told you, it's not that I don't want you, I just want to live separately, keep some distance, and avoid conflicts." Otherwise, the two of you quarrel, I said you, and my father said that I bullied you, you have been spoiled by your father for so many years, and everyone has to accommodate you. This is also to prevent you from being wronged. You can move down tonight, there isn't much anyway, I'll take you down. ”
I silently went to tidy things up.
After a while, my son took me downstairs and the newly rented house was new, spacious and bright with two rooms.
He helped me put my things away and left. I was lying on the empty big bed, and suddenly a kind of sadness came to my heart, I was held in the palm of my wife for many years, and now I came to my son, and I was actually excluded. I didn't do anything wrong, I just said something that should have been said to my daughter-in-law. Why is she so indifferent to me?Am I wrong, or are they wrong?