The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a problem that has plagued countless people, and it is also the most difficult relationship in the family. The mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law have neither blood ties nor emotional foundations, but they have to live under the same roof. If the relationship is not handled properly, the originally peaceful home will become a huge wave, and the originally affectionate and sweet couple will even drift apart and fly apart.
In the final analysis, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two generations who grew up in different eras, with different growth environments and different concepts of life.
Many times, the mother-in-law may be out of kindness and wants to help her daughter-in-law, but it often backfires, and she is complained about if she does not get the gratitude she deserves.
In this case, it is best for the mother-in-law to guard the boundary, control the distance between her and her daughter-in-law, and don't take the initiative to help if she is a little busy, otherwise she will be easily hated by her daughter-in-law.
One of my fellow villagers, Aunt Lin, was complained by her daughter-in-law because she interfered too much in her daughter-in-law's family chores. She said that she always thought that it was her son, and she would help if she could. Not only is he particularly diligent in household chores, but he also helps take care of the children. Not only did he not get a word of thanks from his daughter-in-law, but he disliked her for not doing well.
Someone asked Aunt Lin if she disliked her daughter-in-law, she said that she didn't dislike it, that is, her daughter-in-law always spends money lavishly, she couldn't get used to it, and said her daughter-in-law a few times, but the daughter-in-law felt uncomfortable, and slowly didn't have a good face for her.
Some mothers-in-law, out of kindness, intervene in their daughters-in-law's household chores, childcare, shopping and other household chores in the name of helping young people reduce their burdens. This kind of behavior is likely to make the daughter-in-law feel that she is not respected, but will be caught by her mother-in-law and educated by the wrong place, which will inevitably make her feel uncomfortable, which will lead to conflicts.
Therefore, the mother-in-law should not easily help take care of the housework, even if she interferes, she must know how to be proportionate, and do not have to guide too much.
If the son and daughter-in-law quarrel, the mother-in-law should not interfere easily. As the saying goes, "it is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs", originally a small couple may have quarreled just because of a trivial matter, but because of the mixture of the mother-in-law, it was stirred into a pot of porridge.
I have a friend, her husband is very filial, every time she quarrels with her husband, her mother-in-law likes to meddle, but it makes things more and more complicated, and the relationship between the two becomes worse and worse. Until one time their husband and wife quarreled again, and as a result, the mother-in-law came to be the referee again. To her surprise, her husband said impatiently, "Mom, don't be nosy!".The mother-in-law went back to her house sadly, thinking that her son's words were too much, and she no longer came to point fingers.
Since then, without the participation of her mother-in-law, the relationship between their husband and wife has eased a lot, and their relationship is slowly heating up.
The husband and wife's affairs should be solved by the husband and wife themselves, after all, the young couple knows what they are quarreling about, and direct communication between the two people is the most efficient solution.
Besides, it is normal for husbands and wives to quarrel and quarrel. As the so-called bedside quarrel and bedside harmony, there is no overnight feud between husband and wife, and occasional small quarrels help to promote the relationship between husband and wife.
If the mother-in-law forcibly intervenes, it will complicate simple problems and expand or even divert the contradictions.
Some people say that having a child is a mirror of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and whether the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good or not, you will know when you have a child.Many times, parenting problems often become the fuse of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Because of the next generation, the mother-in-law will inevitably be more pampered and even spoiled by her grandchildren.
As the mother of the child, the daughter-in-law loves the child and thinks about it in the long run. Therefore, when educating children, it is natural to set rules for children.
Some mothers-in-law will feel very sorry for the child when they see it, so they interfere with the way their daughter-in-law educates the child, such as accusing the daughter-in-law of being too strict with the child, or trying to get the daughter-in-law to change the way of education, which will make the daughter-in-law feel questioned and dissatisfied.
In this stressful society, intergenerational parenting has become the norm. Although it is a good thing for the elderly to give their children a hand and help raise their offspring, they should not lose their due measure.
I once saw a sentence: children belong to their parents, not their grandparents.
I think so. When taking care of her grandchildren, the mother-in-law should also respect the daughter-in-law's educational methods and methods, and not interfere and guide excessively.
Bi Shumin once said: "Keeping a distance from each other is the most appropriate way to communicate." ”This is especially true for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Therefore, as a mother-in-law, when getting along with your daughter-in-law, you should never act rashly, but should interact with experience and wisdom. Even if you are kind and generous, don't help your daughter-in-law with the above 3 favors, otherwise you will not be grateful, but you will be blamed.
*From the Internet, invaded and deleted].