Hello everyone, I'm "he said", and welcome to the "Joke Collection".
At the end of class, the Chinese teacher hurriedly assigned homework: "Everyone be quiet, everyone will write a weekly diary this week and hand it in on Monday." ”
As a result, on Monday, the teacher criticized: "Last Friday, I asked my classmates to write a weekly diary, and one of my classmates copied one for me.""Zizhi Tongjian Zhou Ji"., Zhang Dada, stand up and explain to the teacher? ”
Teacher, I heard you tell us to write a week."
The whole class burst into laughter!
In geography class, the teacher talked with relish, but one student was asleep, the teacher was very angry, slapped the lectern hard and said: "The student in the last row in red, come up and write, what porridge are there in the world?" ”
The tablemate shook him and said, "The teacher called you."
The classmate squinted his eyes and walked up to the podium, and the teacher said, "Can you write about the continents and oceans in the world?" ”
After half a ring, the classmate wrote: ".Preserved egg and lean pork porridge, white rice porridge, Yuan Datou
Hahahaha, the class burst into laughter.
When I was in college, one day of off-campus training in physical education class, Banhua suddenly fainted and fell right next to me. I was pleasantly surprised, and I was going to pick her up, so I ran in the direction of the school doctor. But at that time, everyone was boiling instantly, and the boys rushed up to snatch it from me, and the scene was suddenly chaotic...The physical education teacher has seen the world, and quickly stepped forward to push away a few boys, put Banhua flat on the ground, and did artificial respiration for a while before carrying her away in person...
"Ahh I'm still too young. ”
The last time I bought facial cleanser with my roommate, I was running out of two bottles, and my roommate hadn't used up one bottle yet.
I said, "Are you reluctant to squeeze every time you wash your face?" “
My roommate looked at my face and said, "No, no, no, it's your face bigger than mine." “
I....
When I was a kid, my brother took me on a bicycle. It was very cold, I said it was cold, so my brother started to kick hard, and the wind became stronger and stronger. I asked, "Brother, what are you doing?" The wind is blowing me down. ”
My brother turned his head to look at me and said to me, "The teacher just taught me yesterday, friction generates heat, and your face can rub and generate heat when I am fast, you see, your face is now red." ”
"Brother, that's frozen red, okay! “
When I was in high school, there was a buddy who was smoking on the playground, and the director saw it and hurriedly ran over and asked, "What is your name, what class are you in?" “
I saw that the buddy calmly took two puffs, stepped on the ground, and said, "I call you to run fast." Then he ran away with a puff of smoke.
Leave the dean standing in the wind.
In the afternoon, the dean checked the surveillance, found the man, and said, "Get him out of me and let him know what my name is?" I'm called beating hard! ”
Xiao Ming: "Teacher, I found that you are a very tangled person. ”
Teacher: "Tell me about it." ”
Xiao Ming: "You chant these three sentences all day long, 'Why are you reading?' Look at the blackboard!; 'What are you looking at the blackboard?' Look at me! ’；What are you looking at me for? Read a book! 'Teacher, where are you going to show me?' ”
Teacher: "Get out!" ”
Once, the teacher asked us to do the test papers. The teacher said that you don't have to do the hard ones.
As a result, the next day, the Xi committee members put the test papers away, and the teacher was so angry that he saw itNone of the boys in the class did it!
In physics class today, the physics teacher asked questions from the book. I've talked about it a few times before, so I asked my classmates directly without speaking. When asked a boy, the boy couldn't answer. The teacher was immediately angry, raised the book in his hand and was about to hit. The boy immediately reflexively covered his face with his hands. The teacher put down his hand depressedly and said, "Turn to page 33 of the book, and the answer is there." ”
The boy went to flip through the book very obediently, but as soon as his hand was put down from his face, the teacher raised his hand and gave him two strokesThen, very dragged back to the podium!
One day, the director of the Political and Educational Office came to our classroom and said, "Students, do you think the teacher is ugly?" "The whole class did not speak, because they did not dare to tell the truth, and they did not dare to tell lies.
Then I saw the director yelling: ".I've found a wife who looks so ugly, what are you anxious about! So when you are studying, you should read well and fall in love.
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