Hello everyone, I'm "he said", and welcome to the "Joke Collection".
I quarreled with my husband, I was so angry that I wanted to divorce, but my daughter suddenly ran over and said, "Mom, Dad, can't you beat the child to get angry?" Do you have to get a divorce? ”
I looked at my well-behaved and sensible son and said, "Baby, it's too late for mom to love you, how can I beat you." ”
The son said again: "Mom, it's okay, my brother is so young, he can't remember beating him." ”
The art teacher criticized Xiao Ming: Last time you painted dumplings, this time you painted the same dumplings, you can't change them? Xiao Ming said aggrievedly: I changed it, the stuffing is different!
Do some building materials business in my hometown, and go to the customer's house to collect the accounts on this day. If my 5-year-old son insisted on going with me, I scared him: Don't go, or I'll sell you. My son didn't eat my set at all, so he had no choice but to take him. When I arrived at the customer's house, the son was well-behaved and played with the customer's daughter. I talked to the client about the same, and finally he asked me to count the money to see if the number was right. I was counting, and my son suddenly ran over and "snapped" and knelt down for me: Mom, I was wrong, please don't sell me!! I'm not worth that much money.
The kindergarten teacher has always reported that his son is not good at Xi, and now he can't count to 50. I just took 50 coins and said to him, start counting, count as much as you want, and you can take as much as you want for pocket money. Three minutes later, he grabbed the coins on the table and said, "Dad, is there anything else?" I can actually count to 100. ”
Xiao Ming's Xi is very poor, and he always fails every exam. There was another exam that day, and his father said, "If you fail the exam again this time, don't recognize me as a father!" A few days later, Xiao Ming came home with the papers, and his father saw it and asked, "How did you do in the exam?" Xiao Ming said with a blank face: "Who are you?" ”
In the evening, I took a shower, dressed up, and was about to go shopping with my husband, when my son suddenly shouted: "Mom, Dad said you can eat!" ”
I whispered, "Son, did your father say that I was beautiful?" ”
Son: "No, Dad said you were dressed like a bun!" ”
In the kindergarten, a little Zhengtai held his fist and stretched out his hand in front of Xiao Lori and said, "This! Send you! Little Lori asked, "What do you want to give me?" While naturally opening his hand, he waited for him to hand it to her, and said, "My hand!" Hand in hand? Then they held each other's hands and ran away, really TM is a genius!
The teacher lets you use "one side..."On one side....In a sentence, Xiao Ming replied: "Do you hear it, I'll let you get out of the way." ”
Dad: Son, what is your ideal? Son: Be like Dad. Dad: Why? Tell me about it. Son: Because when I am a father, I can get 5 yuan of pocket money from my mother every day.
One day, Snow White escaped from the castle and came to the forest, and saw a small cabin, and when she went in, she saw seven small beds and went to sleep, and when she woke up, she saw seven dwarfs standing in front of her and asked, Are you the seven dwarfs in my fate, and then the dwarf said, "You have gone wrong, we are gourd babies."
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