Psychologist Fromm said: Parents often wear masks in the name of virtue, restraining their children's desire for the future of life. The motivation for your good is right, the starting point must be for your good, but is the result really what you want?
I'm all for your good", parents often talk about words, I don't know how lethal it is to children, how many children have been harmed, and how many family relationships have been severed!
Sophie, a teacher from Kyushu Jinbang Family Education, said: "Every sentence is for your good, kidnapping the child's thoughts, words and deeds, and also killing the child's own dreams, the child lives as his parents want, but he loses his life direction and loses the meaning of life." ”
Keeping boundaries is a lifelong practice for parents, so what should parents do?
First: Respect your child's inner thoughts.
Regardless of whether the child's decision is right or not, parents must not stop the child because of this, even if the child does something wrong, it is a victory. Because for them, personal experience is a kind of progress.
As a parent who respects children's ideas and supports children's decisions, children will also learn to respect their own hearts, form their own outlook on life and values, and ultimately achieve self-perfection.
Second: learn to let go and let your child do it boldly.
I often see the news that so-and-so is a great student, and he was admitted to a key university that others are fascinated by before he was an adult. However, he didn't stay long in college before he was dissuaded by the school on the grounds that he was seriously lacking the ability to take care of himself.
Parents who will not let go will not be able to raise independent children after all, and the children raised will eventually be eliminated by society.
Learning to let go, allowing children to do things boldly, allowing them to make their own choices, and encouraging children to take responsibility within their own scope can give them a foothold in society.
Third: Parents have a sense of boundaries and are the most responsible for their children.
I'm all for your good" is like a mantra that restricts the pace of children's courage to move forward, even if they have the ability to do it, children will become stumped because of the denial of their parents, and even begin to believe that they are incapable and not smart.
The most important thing for parents to do is to keep their own boundaries and encourage their children to be independent and bold in their efforts, so that children can become independent and soaring eagles.
The British politician and philosopher Hayek once said: The road to hell is often paved with good intentions!How many parents forcibly put their children with themselves under the banner of "I'm all for your good", but this kind of conditional love often makes children feel suffocated!
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