In 1996, "Song of Long Hatred" was born. This work caused a strong response as soon as it came out, and won the "Mao Dun Literature Award" in 2000, and was selected into the "70 Novels of 70 Years of New China" in 2019.
In the book, the author Wang Anyi uses delicate and feminine brushwork to tell the story of a Shanghai girl named Wang Qiyao, who became famous at the age of 19 to was killed at the age of 60, and intertwined the changes in the life of the metropolis of Shanghai from the 40s to the 80s of the 20th century.
Wang Qiyao's life is lonely, she is like everyone else, she has had family, friendship, love, she has everything, but she lost everything, and finally died alone.
Looking back on Wang Qiyao's life, you will find that her miserable life is not only caused by external forces, but also due to her own character flaws that will not refuse.
It can be said that Wang Qiyao's tragedy began with not refusing, and it ended because of not refusing.
People, who don't know how to refuse, have a hard time living a good life.
I don't know how to refuse, the essence is greed
In 1946, Wang Qiyao, a nineteen-year-old Shanghai girl, was in her youth and outstanding appearance.
By chance, she met the director who made the film, and then met the photographer Mr. Cheng, and took some life photos under the guidance of Mr. Cheng.
The shoot was so successful that some of them were published in the magazine Shanghai Life under the title "Shanghai Shuyuan".
Wang Qiyao's image of a little vanity in her heart, a little limelight in her self-preservation is spread all over the streets.
Wang Qiyao, who was already slightly famous, signed up for the "Miss Shanghai" contest in 1946 at the recommendation of Mr. Cheng.
After the preliminary round, the director who discovered Wang Qiyao at that time told her that the "Miss Shanghai" beauty pageant was just a high-ranking official and nobleman, and hoped that she could quit and continue to study hard.
But Wang Qiyao took these words as a deaf ear, and chose to continue to run for election on the grounds that "everything is pushed by the river and the water comes naturally".
After rounds of competitions, Wang Qiyao won the palace runner-up and became the "third lady" in people's mouths.
Third Miss" Wang Qiyao can be said to be famous at a young age.
Director Li, a military and political dignitary, took a fancy to Wang Qiyao in this beauty pageant and invited her to participate in the ribbon-cutting of a department store.
After that day, Director Li invited the appointment many times, and Wang Qiyao felt the changed feelings in it, and bowed down to his power, but still happily went to the appointment on the grounds of going with the flow.
As expected, she became Director Li's outer chamber and made a canary in "Alice's Apartment".
Wang Qiyao thought that what she got was real love, but where did the "caged bird" get love?
She has prosperity and wealth, but everything is just Director Li paying for her to get her.
Most of the days in Alice's apartment were lonely times waiting for Director Li, and during this time, Wang Qiyao's friends all got married and had a definite home.
Only she is in a state of "the future is unclear".
And the crash of Director Li's plane also made Wang Qiyao's expectations come to naught.
A person's life, especially in the initial stage, will have many options, which often means too much.
Fame, power, vanity, when these tempting "desserts" come to the face, the greed of human nature is completely stimulated.
When we greedily want to grasp them, but we don't want to expose our desires, "not refusing" becomes the best "fig leaf".
If you don't know how to refuse, you will be counterattacked
After moving out of the "Alice Apartment", Wang Qiyao returned to her hometown in Suzhou for a period of time, and then returned to Shanghai and settled in Ping'an.
Here, through his neighbor Yan's wife, he met Kang Mingxun, the second son of a large family, "Mao Mao's maternal uncle", and Kang Mingson's friend, Sasha, who is of mixed race.
With the gradual deepening of the relationship with Cumminson, Wang Qiyao and him gradually moved from friends to lovers.
The Yan family's wife was keenly aware of this change and wanted to do her best to stop it, after all, in that era, a woman of unknown origin who had seen the world and a "young master" who lived in the traditional family struggle were not suitable in any case.
Wang Qiyao didn't know this, but she didn't want to think about it, she just wanted to enjoy the moment.
Therefore, in the face of Cumminson's pursuit, she did not refuse.
They experience a brief moment of happiness in the cracks, and it all ends with their own pregnancy.
After Wang Qiyao became pregnant, Kang Mingxun did not take on his father's responsibilities, he chose to escape and leave.
At this time, Wang Qiyao still wanted to protect Cumminson's reputation, and she decided to set up a "trap" to make another person responsible, and this person was Sasha.
After successfully "routine" Sasha, Wang Qiyao transferred the father of the child in her womb to Sasha, but Sasha was just a prodigal son, and chose to return to her hometown before Wang Qiyao gave birth**.
After a series of dramatic tossing and turning between the three people, Wang Qiyao finally had a child and became a single mother.
She gave birth to a daughter, named Vivi.
In life, I don't know how many people are like Wang Qiyao, who know that the road ahead is wrong, but for the sake of the happiness of the moment, they devote themselves to it without hesitation.
Perhaps such a choice can make people get short-term happiness, but the later sorrow is multiplied.
As the writer Osamu Dazai wrote in the book "Human Disqualification": "My misfortune lies in my lack of ability to refuse. ”
Many times, the misfortune we see is because we have not clearly rejected the hidden dangers in front of us.
Not rejecting the mistakes of the moment must be painful later.
If you don't know how to refuse, you will eventually be trapped by others
Wang Qiyao still brought up her daughter Weiwei alone after all.
After growing up, Weiwei successfully got married and went overseas, and Wang Qiyao became a middle-aged and elderly person living alone in peace.
Wang Qiyao, who lives alone, attended the old-fashioned Shanghai "Paidui" and met the twenty-six-year-old Lao Kra at a party.
Old Kra is a young middle school physical education teacher, but she has a heart to go back to the past.
In the new social style, maintaining the old fashion, although Wang Qiyao is more than 30 years different from her at this time, he still loves Wang Qiyao, the "old thing", and Wang Qiyao has become the goddess of his old Shanghai dream.
Old Kra fell in love with Wang Qiyao.
But does Lao Kra really love Wang Qiyao?
No, what he loves is only the dream of old Shanghai in his own heart, an unbreakable illusion in his heart.
For this dream, Lao Kra chased Wang Qiyao frantically.
Of course, Wang Qiyao knew the reason, but at this time, she was in her last years, she was lonely and lonely, and in the face of Lao Kra's unrealistic dream, she knew that it was illusory, but she still did not refuse.
She was defeated and accepted the pursuit of Old Kra.
But when he finally woke up from the dream, when Lao Kra saw the color left by the black hair dye on Wang Qiyao's pillow and his old face, he knew that he couldn't stay with Wang Qiyao for a long time.
Lao Kra entered Wang Qiyao's life because of his dream, and chose to leave because of reality.
But at this time, Wang Qiyao had already lost the initiative to choose when she chose to compromise in the face of Lao Kra's pursuit.
He wanted old Kra to stay with her to spend her old age in peace, and even took out the gold bars that he had hidden for the rest of his life, trying to impress Lao Kra's heart, but he still failed.
Bi Shumin once said:
Refusal is a right, you are so easy to speak, who can understand you?The journey of life is not easy, often at the low point of life** one after another, we will hesitate, hesitate whether we should accept it**.Life is not easy, and many times, you give up your precious time, only to be squeezed by those who take advantage of your kindness.
Perhaps, at some point in time, in order to satisfy our own needs, in order to resist the waves of fate, we choose not to refuse.
But always remember that the more difficult the compromise, the more likely it is to be a poison to quench thirst, and it is easy to coerce oneself, make people lose themselves, and become a bargaining chip for others.
Looking back, Wang Qiyao's life flashed back in front of her eyes.
This poor and pathetic little woman in Shanghai, at many critical points in her life, failed to say "no" to **, and chose to compromise, just to fight for a big tree to shelter herself.
But it was precisely this time and again that she did not refuse, and in the end she was constantly abandoned and always lonely.
In the turbulent journey of life, in fact, we all hope that someone can protect us at the same time, keep the "self-reserved land" in our hearts, and maintain an independent personality.
But how can it be done?Wang Qiyao's story may give us some inspiration:
No matter where we are, no matter the peaks or valleys, we need to stay calm and rational.
In the face of the olive branch in the glory and the life-saving grass in the downfall, only by maintaining an original intention, always understanding what you live for and what you do, clearly rejecting those seemingly shortcuts, and taking every step steadily, can you write your own destiny.
May you and I learn to refuse, reject bottomless desires, refuse unnecessary socialization, reject priceless **, refuse things outside of cognition, and maintain our free soul with appropriate rejection.
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