Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Life Jokes Collection" (Attached: The weather is getting cold, everyone pay attention to keep warm!）
I have been working part-time as a Didi sports car for almost three years, and when I came home from work in the early hours of this morning, I said to my wife: "I have been driving Didi for three consecutive years, I am so tired, I feel that there is no hope in life." ”
My wife quickly responded to me: "Don't think about it. ”
I was surprised to say, "I'm going to have a long life." ”
My wife looked at me speechlessly, and then said, "Our family is counting on you, just hold on for another two years." “
At this time, I reacted, and it turned out that what my wife said was: You don't want to drive (Didi sports car), I heard it as 'you don't want to drive it'.
Oh, I see!）
Yesterday, I went shopping with my husband and saw a pair of glasses that looked good, so I said to my husband, "I want to buy glasses to cover up my ugliness." “
As a result, these two goods came with a sentence: "I want to cover up my ugliness and buy a helmet." ”
Husband, come here, let's have a good talk. I really wanted to give him a slipper!
My wife had a weekend off, so I asked a few good sisters to go shopping.
After a while, she suddenly called me **, saying that the bedding was so discounted!Buy one set get one free!
I said dare to buy it urgently.
When I got home from work in the evening, my wife threw me two boxes of TT.
Brothers, is this also bedding?I really don't know how I'm going to spend the next week, ahem, this body is getting weaker and weaker
I have been married to my wife for two years, and when I was washing up in the morning, my wife rushed in in horror: "Husband, I found that I have grown a white hair!."I comforted her and said, "It's okay, I have a lot of ......."”
The second wife was in a daze for a while, and muttered to herself: "We will grow old together so soon?."”
My best friend and husband lived in my house after a quarrel, and I arranged for her to sleep with me and my husband to sleep in the second bedroom.
At night, I habitually touched my husband's underneath, but I didn't touch anything that night, and suddenly my girlfriend woke up, and that embarrassment ......
Unexpectedly, my best friend said vaguely: "Don't make trouble, your wife is at home." ”
Family, what do you say I should do? 」
The wife and her husband quarreled, and finally the wife said, "I can't stay in this house for a day, I'm leaving!".”
After that, he packed his things and left.
The husband suddenly grabbed his wife's receiver and said, "Wait for me, I can't stay any longer, let's go together!."”
Hey!You're a fucking genius! 」
My husband was playing with his mobile phone and accidentally fell to the ground, and the 100 yuan private money hidden in the mobile phone case fell out, and his wife looked at him with the mobile phone and asked, "Explain!."”
In a panic, my husband said casually: ", why did the phone bill fall out?"”
Hahahaha, you are not chaotic in the face of danger, you are a material that can be made, and you will be the commander of the soft root soldiers in the future
I bought a new pair of pants for my husband today, and he came back in less than ten minutes after going out, and his knee broke, so I said angrily: "The pants I just bought were torn in less than ten minutes!". ”
Who knew that the husband of the second goods said aggrievedly: "I'm sorry, I didn't have time to take off my pants when I fell." ”
I .........My husband is so humorous!Hehehe
Today I said to my husband: "Husband, I am tired of my long hair, I want to cut my hair short, do you say okay?".”
My husband quickly replied to me, "No, now I only know that I am married to a woman when I see your long hair." ”
At that time, I picked up the mop and was beaten up!
Oops!Only when I saw your long hair did I know that I was married to a woman, and I laughed to death the old man
I was too full for dinner and didn't want to wash the dishes, and my wife didn't wash either. I proposed to flip a coin to guess the heads and tails, and wash the ones who lost. Then I took out a one-dollar coin from the drawer and threw it into the air: "Wife, you guess first." “
She snapped at me with a big mouthful, and I didn't react at all, so she pointed at me and said, "Why do you dare to hide private money?!".I cried and said, "This is what I picked up last time I swept the floor, what are you hitting me for, isn't it just washing dishes." “
After that, I went to wash the dishes in a gloomy way, and I turned my head to find my wife rummaging in the drawer box, eh, my life!
Oops!Your wife is actually looking for you in the carton box and you don't have private money!
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