In life, we often say that every family has a scripture that is difficult to read. Today, I understand the meaning of this phrase. As a son, I have always been grateful to my parents for their nurturing grace over the years. Now, as they grow older, I desire to be filial to them with all my heart. However, the reality backfired. When I took my mother to my home to take care of her, in just one month, the family set off a wave of turmoil, and finally I had no choice but to send my mother away.
It was only at this moment that I realized that it was quite difficult to be filial to my elderly parents, and it was full of complicated interpersonal relationships.
My surname is Zhu, I am 40 years old this year, I have worked in the unit for more than ten years, and I can be regarded as a small leader. However, when I think of my parents in the countryside, I always feel an indescribable bitterness in my heart.
I was born in a simple rural family, passed the college entrance examination and entered the big city, and with my own hard work, I took root here and established a family and career.
When it comes to my parents, it's really not easy. They are ordinary farmers who have been cultivating the fields all their lives and have worked hard to raise my sister and me.
Since we have to study, the financial pressure on the family is very high. When the fields weren't busy, my dad would go to the city to move goods and deliver tiles and tiles from the market, and every time I came home and saw my dad tired, dark and thin, my heart always swelled with deep pain.
At that time, I had only one wish, that is, to study hard and earn more money in the future to repay my parents for their hard work and nurturing grace over the years.
It's been five years since I graduated from college, and that year I married my college classmate, a girl with a big smile and crooked eyes. She is a cheerful and sunny girl, living calmly and happily, and her family background is relatively wealthy. Her parents have secure jobs in the local area, and their family is much better off than mine.
When we got married, my parents-in-law were relieved that my parents-in-law did not ask for a bride price. My dad always lamented that he was so blessed to have found such a good family, and my mom happily told the neighbors that the girls in the city were really nice, didn't care about money, and had a good personality.
Before we got married, my father-in-law and mother-in-law specially summoned me and said that not only did they not need a bride price, but also generously subsidized us with 200,000 yuan for the purchase of a house. At that time, I was deeply moved, and this money, together with some of my own savings, allowed us to successfully take out a loan to buy a small house.
After we got married, my wife and I have been living a sweet life. It is relatively close to the house of his father-in-law, who is also retired. In order to alleviate the hard work of cooking when we get home from work, she often invites us over for dinner and enjoys the warmth of family. Every holiday, my father-in-law and mother-in-law would gently urge us to go back to our hometown to visit my parents. My parents were in the countryside, especially my mother, and they always prepared my favorite braised pork when we went back, and the unique aroma of rural pork was really difficult to taste in the city. My mom was always smiling and watching me pick up the meat piece by piece. Every time we go home, it is a warm family feast, and my mother-in-law always advises us to go back often, because our parents in our hometown must miss us, and the performance of filial piety is to have time to go back to visit often.
Watching me taste the delicious food, my wife looked at me with curiosity. I took the initiative to pick up a piece of food and handed it to her to taste. So, she also ushered in her first contact with this delicacy. From that moment on, the braised pork became a shared favorite of my wife and me, and became part of our fond memories.
A few years ago, my father fell ill and I was caught up in a busy life. Not only do you have to juggle work, but you also have to take care of your father. Thankfully, I have my wife and her family who have always supported me.
During those days, my wife encouraged me to focus on taking care of my father while she took on all the household chores in the house. She also has to juggle work and picking up and dropping off the children, and sometimes she is too busy to do so, and her mother-in-law will come over to help us. With my mother-in-law's help, I feel more at ease.
Sometimes I come home late from the hospital, physically and mentally exhausted. My wife always brings me a bowl of steaming chicken soup from the kitchen when she sees me come back. Drinking the warm soup, my mood gradually became warmer. My wife told me that my mother-in-law had specially made it for me, considering my recent hard work. Hearing this, I am filled with gratitude beyond words.
My father's illness lasted for more than three years, and although we hired the best doctors and spent more than 100,000 yuan on **, we couldn't save him in the end. After my father left, my mother was the only one left in the hometown, and the family became very deserted.
During that time, I understood that my mother's life was difficult. As long as I have time, I will take my wife and children back to my hometown. My mom will feel better when she sees her grandson. My wife is worried that my mother is reluctant to spend money, so every time I go back, I always bring some food, use, and clothing. My mom always blames my wife for spending money arbitrarily, but my wife always responds with a smile.
This summer, I took my mom into my house. This makes it easier to take care of her on the one hand, and on the other hand she can also be with her grandchildren.
In fact, there is another reason, although the air conditioner is also installed in my hometown in summer, my mother is always reluctant to turn it on. I was afraid that she would be alone at home with the heat, so I persuaded her to move to our house. At first, my mother refused, but after my persuasion, she happily packed her bags and came over.
On the first day I arrived, my mother brought pork from her hometown and cooked us a meal of braised pork in the evening.
To be honest, we haven't had such delicious meat in a long time. My wife and I were very happy at that dinner. But I found that my mother barely moved her chopsticks, kept staring at me to eat, and was busy sandwiching meat for her grandson, and kept instructing her mouth
Bao'er, eat more, eat to grow taller. "
Later, my wife also acted out of kindness, and when she saw that my mother didn't eat it, she persuaded her to clip it herself. As a result, my mom got angry all at once:
I'm not hungry, so I don't want to eat it. I will save this meat for my sons and grandsons. "
The two mothers are all for the sake of their families.
A series of things happened in my family that left me in a dilemma. First of all, it was because my mother said something that was obviously aimed at his wife, and although my wife did not refute it, she never touched her chopsticks since. In the evening, my wife got angry and I had to admit that my mother was a little excessive. I tried to make my wife happy and explain my mother's age and rural background, but within a few days, a new conflict arose.
One night, during dinner, my mother told me something and asked my sister to take the baby over and let us help take care of it. I sensed something was wrong and immediately looked at my wife on the side. At that time, I didn't say anything and decided to listen to my wife's opinion. Sure enough, the wife disagreed. I know that although my nephew is only 5 years old, he is spoiled and has a willful personality, and being placed in our house will cause family unrest, and it is not my child, and I am not good at getting angry.
My wife discussed that our son is about to enter junior high school, and there are many Xi arrangements for the summer vacation, and if there is a child in the family who quarrels every day, the whole summer vacation will be messed up. My wife felt that she was not good at refusing in person, so she asked me to talk to my mother. I went, and when I conveyed my wife's opinion to my mother, she insisted that it was her who instigated it, and then she began to scold her fiercely. On this day, a fierce quarrel broke out in the house, and I was in a dilemma, persuading one side after another.
Eventually, due to his wife's opposition, the plan to pick up his nephew was canceled. For the next few days, my mother was unhappy and ignored my wife, and the atmosphere at home was very tense, and I almost wanted to work overtime at work because I had a headache when I got home.
Last week, the weather started to get hot and we turned on the air conditioner. Originally, my mother slept in a room with air conditioning, but she refused to open it because of saving money, so she came to our room with a quilt at night. Mom offered to make a bunk in our room and insisted on sleeping with us. I was stunned, and my wife was stunned. The mother didn't care, saying that her son was born to her, and there was nothing to avoid. She was lying on the floor of our room, and soon her snoring could be heard. My wife glared at me angrily, then angrily took the pillow and went to my son's room.
The next day, when I came home from work, I found that my wife had not returned, and she should have arrived home a long time ago. I hurriedly called her **, but she never answered. I had to dial my mother-in-law's ** instead.
My mother-in-law told me that my wife went to her after work.
In **, my mother-in-law didn't say much, obviously understanding my concerns. She said lightly that if her wife wants to stay at her parents' house for a few days, it doesn't hurt, and she thinks it's a good thing for the young couple to calm down.
In the days when my wife was away, my mother slept next to my bed every night. Although she thought it was to save money and sleep in our room as a matter of course, I always felt a little awkward. For days, I had a hard time sleeping.
As time went by, my mother didn't ask my wife to go**, she lived a leisurely life, and as soon as she got home, she happily served out all kinds of dishes, and it was still the same braised pork.
I felt uncomfortable all the time. I finally realized that taking my mom to live was the biggest mistake I had made.
Although I always wanted to be filial to my mother, she didn't really accept my daughter-in-law. It made me realize that after she came, our home was never at peace.
With all this sorted out, I made up my mind to send my mom away.
I learned that filial piety does not necessarily have to choose to take the old man to his side. I plan to go back to see her more often in the future, but I won't let her live like this again unless I have to.