After marriage, many women discover a reality: girls never seem to really have a home of their own when they grow up.
When she was in her mother's house, she was treated as a guest;However, in her in-law's house, she seems to be an outsider.
I don't believe that.
However, since I got married, I have come to appreciate this very well.
My name is Fan Xiaona and I am 30 years old this year.
My older brother was 7 years older than me and got married the year I graduated from college.
I still remember that when he got married, my mother said to me with tears in her eyes: "Your brother's wedding cost 200,000 yuan in bride price, and you have to buy a car and a house in full, which is really unbearable for me and your father." ”
In fact, my family conditions are not bad, my parents are both factory employees, and I also have a lot of pensions after retirement. However, paying for their brother's house in full was still a challenge for them.
I felt sorry for my parents, so I proposed to them to borrow some money from my relatives first, and when I had a stable job, I would use part of my salary to help them pay off their debts.
My proposal made my parents tearful and emotional.
In order to share more of the burden of my parents, I decided to give up my beloved accounting profession and devote myself to the real estate sales industry.
Despite the hard work, it is possible to earn a decent income.
During my five years on the job, I wrote a love story with a colleague.
When he learned about my family's situation, he lamented that I was a good and filial girl. What made me feel even more heartwarming was that my future mother-in-law was also deeply sympathetic when she learned about my situation.
She often invited me to her house for dinner to show her concern for me. At the dinner table, she often said to my boyfriend, "You have to take better care of Cortana, see she's getting thin." When you go to work, you should also take her to taste more delicious food. ”
The words of this potential mother-in-law warmed my heart. So, when it came to weddings, I expressed to my parents the idea that I didn't need too much of a bride price.
However, my mother had an unrelieved dissatisfaction with the bride price, and even said "I have been raised for nothing". In the end, my in-laws paid a bride price of 200,000 yuan, while my mother asked for 100,000 yuan as a dowry.
I felt very uncomfortable about this.
For the past five years, I have given almost most of my salary to my mother. Even when shopping, I don't dare to go to high-end shopping malls, and I only dare to choose the most affordable baby cream for skin care products.
However, to my surprise, my efforts did not pay for the sincere love of my parents.
On the contrary, when my husband and I returned to my parents' home, they actually prepared a generous gift for me.
What made me even more angry was that they had converted my room into a children's room without my consent.
My mother also said to me, "Your brother and sister-in-law are very busy with work, and now that our two children are in our house, and you are married, of course this room will be reserved for my two grandchildren." ”
I remember tears rolling in my eyes.
My husband took me to the hotel, but I was not in the mood to take him to meet my relatives. So, the next day we hurried home.
That episode, coupled with the impact of the epidemic, caused us to never return to our parents' home after we got married. It wasn't until she became pregnant that her relationship with her family improved.
My mother cares about me very much and often calls me **, three times a day. My mother-in-law was also very distressed that I was pregnant and worked too hard at work, so I resigned and rested at home.
In order to take care of me, my mother-in-law went to school on her mobile phone every day to Xi the preparation of maternity meals and confinement meals. But as fate would have it, when I was in labor, my mother-in-law had a traffic accident when she went grocery shopping and broke her hand.
What touched me was that my mother-in-law was still worried about how I would spend my confinement during the hospitalization. In the end, the father-in-law came up with an idea - to give money.
So, my mother-in-law gave me 50,000 yuan and suggested that I go to the confinement center or find a reliable confinement wife.
However, confinement centers and confinement nannies usually have to book half a year in advance. So, I could only take the 50,000 yuan, and the first thing that came to my mind was my mother.
I called my mom **, hoping that she would come and take care of my confinement.
However, in **, the mother was vague, and finally said: "Your two nephews are very naughty, and your sister-in-law still has to go to work, I can't leave." ”
When I was at home, my sister-in-law was an only child. After her parents retired, they indulged in a comfortable life at home.
So, I said to my mother, "I want to give my sister-in-law 10,000 yuan so that she can take care of the child by herself, or let her parents help take care of the child for a few days." A month will soon pass. ”
I then transferred 20,000 yuan to my mother, 10,000 yuan to my sister-in-law, and another 10,000 yuan to my mother, asking her to buy some gifts for my two nephews.
My mother hesitated, but eventually accepted my transfer and transferred it all to my sister-in-law.
Actually, my husband wanted to pay for a sister-in-law to take care of me. But seeing my firm attitude and the money had been transferred out, he was embarrassed to say more.
My mother-in-law thinks that my mother is better to take care of me than my confinement sister-in-law. Although she still had a plaster cast on her hand, she took the initiative to take on the responsibility of buying groceries.
However, unexpectedly, my mother's arrival did not make my confinement easier, but instead sparked a family war.
During postpartum confinement, I expect food to be lighter, but my mother likes spicy food.
Every day she had to fry chili oil, which made people cough in the house. I made a few comments, and she wiped her tears and said, "I'm old and useless, I'll go home tomorrow." ”
Every time my mother is like this, my mother-in-law comes forward to resolve it, coaxing my mother and coaxing me.
Then there's the matter of taking care of the children.
When discharged from the hospital, the doctor reminded the child that he didn't like overheating, and should not cover too thickly, which could easily cause eczema.
But the mother always felt that the child was cold, even though I was confined in June and felt stuffy in the confinement clothes, she still insisted on covering the child with a thick quilt.
I objected, and she retorted, "You know, I've had four children." If you say it again, I won't care, go home!”
I had no choice but to remain silent, helplessly watching my mother cover her child with eczema.
This situation made my husband and mother-in-law very distressed.
Time flies, my daughter is already full moon.
My dad and sister-in-law came to my house out of the blue.
That day, after my daughter fell asleep, I happily chatted with my sister-in-law in the bedroom.
The little nephew is only more than two weeks old, and he is lively and active. He was bouncing around on the bed, and because my sister-in-law was present, I could only whisper to my little nephew, "Don't jump, my little sister is sleeping." ”
But the child was very naughty at that time, and the more forbidden he was, the more he did not listen. Eventually, I didn't stand firm and sat directly on my daughter's head.
The daughter immediately let out a cry and blood came out of her nose.
My husband and I hurriedly took our daughter to the hospital. After the examination, the doctor told us: "Fortunately, the child is fine, but adults must be careful, the child is too delicate and easily injured." ”
I felt so guilty that when I got home, my brother and sister-in-law had already left with their children. Only my mother said to me, "The child is small, it's okay to be sitting, don't make a fuss, you see that your brother and sister-in-law are gone." ”
My mother-in-law couldn't stand my mother-in-law's words, she hugged my daughter and said to my mother-in-law: "Both of our grandsons are close, but this granddaughter is also close, she is so young, she was sat by your grandson, why don't you feel distressed?".It is not appropriate to say such things. ”
My husband also felt very sorry for the child, and said to me loudly: "I just said to invite a confinement wife, and you don't need to pay for it, you have to ...... according to your own ideas."”
I know that my husband is blaming me for letting my mother take care of me, and he is still worried because of the incident that came back to the door before.
Faced with the reproach of my mother-in-law and husband, my mother became emotional. My mother-in-law ignored my mother, took the child and left.
My mother cried for a while, then went back to the room to sort out her luggage, stuffed me with 10,000 yuan and said, "I said I wouldn't come to help you with confinement, and I have to swallow my anger when I am blind." ”
I was also in a bad mood and couldn't comfort my mother, so I could only watch her go.
After they all left, the house fell silent instantly. I curled up in bed and cried for a while, until I finally fell asleep.
When I woke up, I found my mother-in-law back with her daughter in her arms.
When she saw that my eyes were swollen, she comforted me and said, "Cortana, women are married, and this is often the case. He is an outsider in his mother-in-law's house, and he is a guest in his mother's house. But don't worry, I treat you as my own daughter. Now that your mom is gone, let's find a sister-in-law. ”
Then, my mother-in-law picked up her phone and scolded my husband.
My daughter has been 100 days old, and my mother called me ** and transferred 5,000 yuan.
We seemed to have a tacit understanding, she didn't ask me to take my daughter back to her parents' house, and I didn't invite her to my daughter's 100-day banquet.
My husband and mother-in-law also treated me well as usual.
This is life, and now my only wish is for my daughter to grow up healthy!100 help plan