At the last moment of her life, Mrs. Gu held her son with one hand and called "Ah Hong" and "Ah Hai". Facing her daughter Gu Shilian, who had been with her all night, she chose to turn a blind eye again.
After her death, Gu Shihai said affectionately: "You are my companion on my last night, it is really good, and the relationship between mother and daughter is always so close."
Gu Shilian said bluntly: "I prefer my son, this is well known."
It is only at this moment that the true meaning of the book is revealed: why in the large family of the Gu family, women are often ill-fated and men are often indifferent. Why, in the eyes of men, women are animals that eat the weak, while men always love women to death?This is because the three generations of the Gu family have deeply retained the traditional concept of "patriarchy" in their hearts. Who would dare to say that they are men in such a family?Therefore, Gu Shilian showed a strong side, while Gu Qingyu showed a strong side. Among the daughters-in-law of the Gu family, one died early, and the other was forced to a resentful and pungent role. In the third generation of the Gu family, Gu Xin decisively changed his daughter-in-law from kindness to prostitution, and Gu Lei became a springboard for Feng Xiaoqin to gain a foothold in Shanghai due to excessive pampering.
That group of unreasonable parents will never realize that your unwavering, patriarchal attitude is actually destroying not one generation, but several generations.
Last words 1: Su Wangdi, her fate is full of hard work.
On the night of Mrs. Gu's death, it was actually Gu Shihai who was responsible for performing the night shift.
However, on the grounds that he had a cold, he refused to take care of his mother, and instead asked his wife Su Wangdi to take care of it. Gu Shilian felt that her sister-in-law was too tired, so she chose to go to the vigil instead of Su Wangdi.
At the last moment of her life, Mrs. Gu expressed her views on this issue in a way of returning to the light:
Her life is full of busyness and hard work.
In the face of such remarks, Gu Shilian couldn't bear it anymore, and even her biological daughter couldn't help but refute:
What does it mean to "work hard"?Whose destiny is innate hard work?Even if you're helping your son, don't be too overt about helping him.
As a mother-in-law and a woman, Mrs. Gu is well aware of the difficulties faced by her daughter-in-law Su Wangdi, but she turns a blind eye to it and blames all the faults on her fate.
Could it be that Su Wangdi has owed something to the Gu family since she was born?However, when someone's partiality and selfishness reach the extreme and no other plausible explanation cannot be found, he will use "this life" to bind those who have been hurt so that they have no incentive to even resist.
Su Wangdi was deeply hurt by her actions, her heart was full of anger and exhaustion, and she once expressed her feelings bluntly:
Gu Shihai, tell me, who have you been good to in your life?At worst, you're a bad boy, you're not a good person, you don't think it's good, and people are not happy!On a positive note, this is an innate character trait. We usually introduce a good person when we get married, but this person may seem a little dull and not very likeable. How can you call a bad guy?I really don't understand, what is a good guy and what is a bad guy?I don't understand, what is a bad person?If you've never broken the law and haven't been in jail, you're a good personGood people are the same as bad people, and no one will kill him just because he is a bad person. It is only through killing and arson that they can be called wicked?What's wrong with this man?On that day, there were more and more good people, and I preferred to find a bad person to kill and set fires, after all, I was going to kill someone else, and it had nothing to do with me. If you treat a person like a bad person, it will be too hateful, and if he wants to have a comfortable place outside, he must first lock himself up and come out when he is dead. As long as he takes care of his wife and children as soon as he gets home, what does it matter if the harsh environment in the outside world is a big deal. Man is the most fragile thing, and anyone who breaks it will die. Live an ordinary life!Therefore, the problem is not in character, but in the qualities of the individual.
When I saw Su Wangdi's sorrow full of despair, the sentence in "To Kill a Mockingbird" suddenly came to my mind:
Mockingbirds never do anything bad, they just sing to us from the bottom of their hearts, which is why it is said that killing a robin is a crime.
The real bad guys are not just those who kill and set fires, those who hurt a good woman who is willing to pay for herself, follow her to suffer, and who is willing to share everything for her mother, while ignoring the pain and life and death of others, and turning a blind eye to fairness and justice, are also downright bad people.
It is obvious that Gu Shihai is exactly this type of villain. However, Gu Shihai's mother mistakenly regarded her son's behavior as her son's luck.
No wonder Su Wangdi would say such things to Ge Yue: What is passed down from their family doesn't take their wives seriously.
In the Gu family, "Zu" is undoubtedly the most important person, Mrs. Gu. Over the years, she turned a blind eye to the efforts of her daughter-in-law and daughter, and wholeheartedly believed that her sons were "destined people", which led to the rise and fall of two generations of the Gu family.
Last words two: Gu Shilian is too selfish.
When Mrs. Gu realized that the guardian at her bedside was her daughter, she decided to leave most of the money to her daughter after her own death. "When I die, I give all my property to my daughter, and when I die, I leave her a home. Gu Shilian chose to refuse, and at the same time, Mrs. Gu expressed the following opinions:
So, can you give the house to Ah Hai at the beginning, can it be regarded as poverty alleviation?You say, are you still a good man?Allow you to show a "throwing" style and not allow others to have any frivolous intentions towards itDid you say that if your house was built for him, he would have to hand it over to me?
I'm going to tell you, people, don't take it too seriously, it's basically principled, and it's thirteen o'clock if you go too far. Will Xiao Gao have any conflicts with you?If you hold your breath yourself, what should Kodaka do?How will he live in harmony with Ah Hai in the future?I guess you think he doesn't like to talk!Moreover, Duoduo is also among them. In life, you shouldn't act too selfish.
Although Mrs. Gu has always kept a clear head, for many years, she has always chosen to turn a blind eye to her son's coldness and her daughter's grievances. Back then, the daughter planned to hand over the house to her brother, and the surrounding neighbors came to persuade Gu Shilian, but Gu Shilian remained silent. It was precisely because of her mother's acquiescence that Gu Shilian decisively handed over the house to her brother.
Eventually, when Seungmien clashed with Mi Qiu, Eun Dae was resolutely unwilling to pay it back. Even at the critical moment when Gu Shilian's life was threatened, Gu Shihai was resolutely unwilling to pay anything. And her son Gu Xin, who grew up under the care of his aunt, only brought some fruits, and he was not even as good as his neighbors.
Mrs. Gu has witnessed her eldest son's ungrateful and ungrateful behavior over the years, but she has never said a word to her son, and even after her son's death, she still feels that her daughter is too selfish and does not leave any space for her son.
For Gu Shilian, how should we deal with it?
In the face of my brother's ungrateful behavior, should we give him the house and continue to maintain a peaceful attitude?
The only thing that Mrs. Gu warmed her heart was: she proposed to leave most of the funds to her daughter. When her daughter was in middle school, she was punished by her teacher for doing homework because of her bad grades. Whether she made such a choice, whether she wanted to exchange her "small favor" to her daughter for her daughter's "big favor" to her son, or whether she really felt sorry for her daughter, but in any case, her behavior brought at least a little comfort to her daughter, who had not been treated fairly in her life.
However, in the end, she not only disagreed with her daughter's efforts, but wrongly accused her of being too serious and selfish, which led to a complete reversal of facts and logic.
This is also the strategy that many patriarchal parents adopt with their daughters: they usually give some favor to their daughter after she has made a great sacrifice. If you can understand their good intentions, then you should thank them. For the great sacrifice that your daughter has made, you are actually willing to fight back. You shouldn't be too persistent, and it's not easy to accept help from others. And for the sacrifices and sacrifices you make, you should not be too selfish and should consider the feelings of the other person.
No wonder, when her mother just died, Gu Shilian resolutely said that her mother was more inclined to her son, and indeed, she was so inclined to her son.
Faced with her son's indifferent attitude towards his wife, she thinks that her daughter-in-law is like a hard worker. As for her daughter's great support for her son, she thinks that her daughter is too serious and selfish, and does not have enough sympathy and understanding for her beloved son.
This old lady is so selfish that it is so difficult to tell right from wrong.
Last words 3: Although parents understand that this is unfair, there is nothing they can do.
This sentence is probably the last thing I can bear.
When parents are faced with unequal treatment of their children, they try to make everything simple and straightforward with a vague phrase:
Parents understand that this is unfair, but they are also helpless and always want everyone to continue to live. Sometimes, the father is worried about his sons, and other times, the mother is worried about herself and her children. As long as there is food, everyone can enjoy it.
You are unhappy with me, and I know that. Your dissatisfaction with me is not because you are a poor child, but because your family is not well-off, and your parents are the sons of poor families. But when you finally say your word, I'm standing in front. Ah Hai will definitely hold a grudge against me, because he is usually taciturn, and once he shows a "stubborn" personality, he can really make people feel scared.
Your father and I are both men, your father is a woman, and your mother is a woman, and neither of these two people wants them to separate, let alone divorce. You gave him the property out of deep affection for being a sister. Moreover, your financial situation at that time was quite good, and even if you fell ill later, the infrastructure was still solid, and you would not have a bad life after all. You say I'm old.
You and your mother are both human beings, and due to limited energy, I am afraid that you will not be able to continue your life, that you will have an argument with each other, and that you will have an argument with me. Your dad is retired now, and I'm almost retirement age. As I got older, I became lazier and lazier, and by the age of forty, it was a completely different story. Your father has been dead for a long time, and my salary is not very good, and I am full of uncertainty in my heart, but I believe that my future will depend on you, and as long as you are doing well, I will also be doing well, understand?
In the face of such a deep "persuasion" from her daughter Gu Shilian, she only confided in one sentence:
You also seem selfish in doing so.
Why did Mrs. Gu allow her son to cause such harm to her daughter?
One of the problems is that the son can't be provoked. It is not for nothing that if a man hurts her, his child will definitely be affected a lot. If she is not on her son's side, her son may get into an argument with her or even fight with her. Although her daughter may be hurt a bit, she will always show her filial piety to herself no matter what.
Another reason is that as she grows older, when she needs to rely on her children, she hopes to be able to spend her old age peacefully and create a peaceful life for herself, and she chooses to ignore any grievances and so-called justice for her daughter.
In order to pursue inner peace, Gu Shihai completely ignored his son's various injuries and unfair treatment of his daughter-in-law, and in addition, Mrs. Gu allowed her son to hurt her daughter like this for the sake of her own inner peace, which is really a traditional inheritance.
Last words No. 4: Advise Ah Hai to be optimistic in life.
In the end, the thing that Old Lady Gu cared about the most was that she didn't care too much about her eldest son, Gu Shihai:
In her last sentence, my mother admonished Ah Hai to stay optimistic, because if she is in a bad mood, even a bystander will feel uncomfortable. Ah Hong should not imitate his father. Thinking too seriously and comprehensively is simply too tiring and unattractive. All three children have their own specialties, but when their fingers are extended, they can still see their lengthAs I get older, my thinking has become a little confused, and if there are any shortcomings, I hope you can understand more.
If a mother is biased, she herself may not be aware of it at all. However, being a mother is not easy. Among the three children, Gu Shilian's health is the most worrying and in need of care, and Gu Shilian has made great contributions to the Gu family. But unfortunately, in his last words, Mrs. Gu was all to comfort his two sons. She said, "I don't want my children to be like her at home." Regarding her daughter, she is well aware of her injustice and understands that she has wronged her daughter, but she still hopes that her daughter will care more.
As you get older, you will understand more about how much damage the phrase "I will be unfair, you will bear more".
This will make you not want to dwell too much on how much injustice you suffer, and it will only make you depressed on yourself for the rest of your life. No one can give you justice, not even your father. No one will do justice for you, and in fact, this justice may make you feel like it's losing its true value over time. It will make you admit the injustice you have suffered, and you will accept the harm you have suffered wholeheartedly, and you will not even complain about the hurt and injustice.
Gu Shilian's situation is exactly like this.
She offered help to her brother, but in the end, his brother was indifferent to her life and death. Because of her mother's words, she could only completely forgive Gu Shihai, and she didn't care about the house she gave away, nor did she care about her brother's indifference to her life and death. Even, after the death of her mother, she was able to reach an absolute reconciliation with her brother.
Because it's unfair to do so, you should accept it.
Every pore of Feng Xiaoqin revealed a keen insight, and she once mocked Gu Shihai like this:
The residents of Shanghai are truly remarkable, they are all Western-style and the relationship between siblings is very harmonious. My aunt was sick with a dying disease, and my uncle spent decades buying someone else's house, but he didn't react at all, but it was as if he was deaf. I found out a few days before he died. It's really remarkable.
Mrs. Gu left like this, she almost didn't get the filial piety of her eldest son Gu Shihai during her lifetime, but what she cared about most after her death was her eldest son who was as selfish as her.
It's ironic.
A process of decline experienced by three generations.
In the three generations of the Gu family, Mrs. Gu's patriarchal and selfish attitude made the eldest son Gu Shihai completely ungrateful and did not take his wife seriously. Gu Shihai's selfish behavior deeply affected Gu Xin, the third generation of the Gu family, making her turn a blind eye to her wife, betray her marriage, be completely unfilial to her parents, and finally embark on the road of crime.
Thinking about it carefully, Gu Xin's disregard for fairness and disregard for others' contributions, and only caring about the end of his own good life, has a striking similarity with Mrs. Gu's philosophy of life.
Looking at Gu Shihong and his family, as well as Gu Qingyu's firmness and dedication, it is like thinking that his younger brother should be his duty, isn't this excessive favor the reason for Gu Lei's weakness in his heart. Feng Xiaoqin's intentions are not pure, but the people of the Gu family are not looking for a wife for Gu Lei, they are actually looking for a new "mother" for Gu Lei.
In a family structure, the phenomenon of patriarchy can be broadly boiled down to three different outcomes:
The boys, just like Gu Xin, were raised to the point of being ungrateful and selfish, and finally embarked on a desperate situation of denying their relatives and harming others and themselves.
A boy like Gu Lei has been like a child all his life, unable to bear the pressure of his own life, let alone the cost of marriage and children, and may end up being abandoned or become a victim.
Gu Shilian and Gu Qingyu are both girls, their personalities are full of domineering and blind giving, and in the end, many people may choose to marry lower.
As the saying goes, when a person is facing the end of his life, his words are often kind.
At the last moment of my life, I would at least like to say a fair word to Gu Shihai: Please take good care of your terminally ill sister. She was sick because she couldn't afford to make money to support herself. In a person's life, he may be free from wealth or power, but he must not lack a basic moral conscience.