Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Joke Collection" (Attached: The weather is getting cold, everyone pay attention to keep warm).
One day, I had a cold and fever and went for a spanking injection.
The doctor said, "Oh, you haven't taken a shower for a few days, I've used three cotton swabs, and I haven't seen the meat yet."“
At this time, the ** next to him said: "Doctor Wang, you forgot to bring your glasses, you wiped the patient's pants." “
Laughed at me!!
I bought watermelon in the supermarket in the community, asked the boss to cut it into pieces, asked my son to carry it, and when I went back, I met my neighbor Uncle Wang, I asked my son to take a piece of watermelon to my neighbor, and my son didn't take it out for a long time, and it was about to arrive: "Tell you to take a piece of watermelon to Uncle Wang!."”
Son: "I haven't found the youngest yet." ”
I ......It was embarrassing at the time!
I ate in the cafeteria, and while eating, I played with my phone. At this time, a beautiful woman who couldn't find an empty table sat across from me, and suddenly, I became nervous, but in order not to lose my temper, I pretended to be calm. I wanted to eat a bite of food elegantly, but when I was excited, I put the phone in my mouth and ......
Today I turned one hand behind my back and asked my mother, "Mom, do you think I look like Yang Guo?"“
I saw my mother say seriously: "Stinky boy, you shouldn't like your aunt!."You can't find a girlfriend anymore and you can't like your aunt, that's your own aunt."
I hurriedly explained: "Mom, you misunderstood me, I just learned how to pretend to be Yang Guo's ...... on TV."“
I'm an unmarried, somewhat chubby girl. I had a little cold in the morning, and I went to the pharmacy to buy cold medicine in loose clothes, and after a salesman stared at me for a while, he kindly advised: "Pregnant women can't take this medicine." ”
At that time, I had thousands of grass and mud horses galloping past in my heart, but, after thinking about it, people were also good for me, so I said calmly: "It's okay, I bought it for my husband." ”
I went shopping with my mother, I went to the toilet temporarily, and when I went out, I always felt that others were staring at me, and I was quite proud in my heart, thinking that I was dressed up beautifully. Just when he was proud, a handsome guy came over, he lowered his head and whispered to me: "Beauty, your skirt is in the **." I angrily asked my mother, "Didn't you see me after walking behind me for so long?"”
As a result, my mother said, "I saw it, I thought it was just this formula." ”
AhhI want to die).
Now that I'm 40 years old, I haven't been in a relationship yet, and my parents arrange blind dates for me everywhere.
One day, my mother** said that a blind date was arranged.
I ran to see that the girl turned out to be a high school tablemate!My excited brain was hot, and I asked, "Are you okay?"”
She lowered her head and said, "Are you going to go on a blind date with my daughter?"”
Huh?Laughed at me!!）
When I heard a knock on the door, I asked, "Who?"”
When no one answered, I raised my voice and asked, "Who?"”
Still no one paid attention to me, and I yelled a little angrily, "Who!".”
At this time, a girl outside the door said angrily, "I didn't knock on your door!."”
It is said that middle-aged aunts will bargain when buying vegetables, and when I visited the vegetable market, I followed behind the two aunts and visited all the stalls in the vegetable market!
As soon as I got out of the vegetable market, my ex-girlfriend rushed out of the corner, grabbed me by the collar and yelled, "Why are you like this?".Can't catch up with me, but actually follow my mother, what's the matter with my mother!”
Patronizing and buying ** vegetables behind them, without looking at his face, this is embarrassing.
Yesterday I went to cut my hair, and as soon as I sat down, the barber asked, "Beauty, is it okay to make a one-time perm?"It's beautiful!”
I said, "It's not hot." ”
A few minutes later, he asked again, "Is it hot?!".”
I said, "It's not hot." ”
After a while, after cutting it, I started to blow it with a hair dryer, but the wind was a little hot, and the boy asked, "Is it hot?"”
I said, "Hot!".”
So he gave me a ...... in my hair
I'll go, that's okay!
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