Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Joke Collection" (Attached: The weather is getting cold, everyone pay attention to keep warm).
Since childhood, he has caused a lot of trouble.
I remember one time during military training in high school, because it was getting late, the instructor decided to tell us a story: "When I used to be a soldier, I was alone in the mountains, there was nothing, even the food was airlifted, and only a big wolf dog accompanied me. Do you know what it turns out to be with a dog for two years? ”
I casually answered, "The dog is pregnant?."”
At that time, I was physically punished to run 20 laps in the playground.
I remember the math teacher said that it is normal to like someone at this age, but it is best to hide it in your heart and not be too high-profile, do a math problem when you think of her, and put a book full of math problems in front of her after the college entrance examination, and she will know how much you miss her and how much you like her.
I tried ......When I did the second question, I found that I didn't like her anymore!
Today's English exam, next to a comic scumbag will not know anything. After the exam began, Terryu took out five slips of paper and put them on the table to draw lots, and the invigilator immediately came over after seeing it, and the teacher was very strange and asked, "Everyone else is four, why are you five?"”
This thing said lightly: "The other one is to do it again." ”
In physics class, the teacher was talking about triboelectric electricity, and the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "In winter, when you take off your sweater, there will be a ** sound, and there will be electric light, but it won't be like this in summer, why!."”
Xiao Ming: "I don't wear sweaters in the summer!."The class laughed).
Ten minutes between classes, I was sleeping on my desk, and suddenly my classmates called me: "Xiao Wang, Xiao Wang, get up, get up." ”
I got up from my seat in a daze, and then a few classmates laughed and said, "Do you know what the name of the herb is when you just did?"”
I shook my head and said, "I don't know." “
The classmate said, "It's wolfberry (dog)." “
They laughed while talking, so annoying.
Sister paper mobile phone login QQ love stealth. Just now, a college classmate (female) QQ sent a message: "Come out, don't hide it." ”
Sister paper replied: "How do you know I'm here?".”
Like the two of us, what else can you play besides playing with your phone?”
Do you want to say it so badly?A bachelor can't afford to hurt herself. ”
When I was in high school, when I returned to school on Sunday, one of my classmates happened to have her birthday that day, and she boiled an egg at home and put it in her pocket. After a while, she seemed to have forgotten the eggs in her pocket, so she went to the toilet, the toilet was the kind of squatting pit, and when she squatted, the "pop" egg fell, and a person next to her saw it and said: ", you laid the eggs......”
When he was Xi in the morning, Mr. Zhang walked into the classroom and was very happy to see that the children were all consciously learning Xi. He walked up to the podium and suddenly saw a palm-sized note on it, he opened it and saw that it was written in neat block letters: Teacher Zhang, hello!Time is like an arrow, the years are rushing, the stars are changing, and the seasons are changing. The autumn breeze is cool, everything is withering, the fruits are fragrant, and the grains are abundant. Study hard every day, dare not relax, revitalize China, and have a bright future. The teacher's grace is unforgettable, forever in the chest, leisurely in my heart, heaven and earth together. As the saying goes, since ancient times, nobles have forgotten many things, only because they are in this mountain. Gossip and stop, ask you: When you borrowed my red pen when you Xi and corrected your homework last Friday morning, when will you pay it back?
Hahaha, well written!)
I drove a taxi, just pulled a drunk sister, I told her to the place, taxi money 20 yuan.
The eldest sister said in a daze: "What kind of taxi money, besides, I will smash the car for you." “
As soon as I thought that she was drunk, I didn't bother with her, and said to her, "Sister, are you happy to drink today?"“
The eldest sister said, "Happy." “
Me: "It's good that the eldest sister is happy to drink, 100 yuan for dinner today, eldest sister, you must not rush to pay with me." “
The eldest sister said: "I'm happy, how can you please give 100 yuan for this meal!."“
(Huh?.)What is this operation?)
When I was a freshman, a roommate who didn't look good liked to face the mirror and admire himself, and even when the big exam was approaching, he was still reluctant to put down the mirror. Her roommates were worried about her homework and advised her, but she sighed softly and said, "Is beauty also a mistake?"”
Don't worry", the always taciturn, but amazingly beautiful room director suddenly spoke: "You have never made such a mistake. ”
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