I used to love a philosophical fable that was inspiring.
Two very different kinds of carrots grow on the fertile soil. One has thick leaves but small, thin fruits; The other has sparse leaves and looks a little wilted, but the fruit is large and fat.
They each grew up quietly in their own territory and lived in harmony. One day, a passer-by stopped and exclaimed, "Look at these two carrots, they have different shapes and strong contrasts. ”
When the two carrots heard it, they mistakenly thought it was another carrot. While they praise each other and belittle themselves, they secretly have a competitive spirit, trying to surpass each other and make themselves more beautiful.
However, due to excessive effort and competition, both eventually died out.
At first glance, this may seem like just an allegory, but when you think about it, it could actually be a depiction of our reality.
Everyone should have their own path to happiness and pursue their own unique pursuits, but it is precisely because we unconsciously fall into the vortex of comparison that happiness becomes distant.
The source of human suffering often comes not from the pressure of real life itself, but from blind comparisons.
In this never-ending battle, we lose our original happiness and our hearts become more and more tired.
It is difficult for people who like to compare to enjoy the sweetness of life.
The work "Bad Things in the Heart" depicts a lawyer who is eager to compete with others. This kind of perseverance and spiritual motivation has enabled him to achieve remarkable results in his career and establish a warm and happy family through unremitting efforts.
But the experience of reunion instantly shattered his once proud sense of superiority and satisfaction. He was surprised to find that his once humble classmates now have successful careers, harmonious families, and are better than him in seemingly trivial things such as the amount of hair.
When the old classmate confidently told him about his life experience as a successful person, he fell into deep frustration and self-pity. "Why did I, who was doing well at the time, suddenly become a loser? "He's got above me, he's been successful in life, and I'm not? ”
Why is it that others can easily enjoy a happy and fulfilling life, while I have to struggle to survive in such difficult conditions? ”
After this meeting, he could not come out of his depression and even began to question his own worth. His general condition deteriorated, and his work performance dropped sharply.
Mr. Feng Zikai said: "If we divide the scale of life into high and low, there will be comparison, and comparison will produce joy and sorrow, and joy and sadness will produce various problems. ”
When people fall into blind comparison, it is easy to fall into self-pity, ignore their own contributions, deprive themselves of the happiness they deserve, and consume a lot of spiritual energy.
Zhihu has such a question. : What kind of people in this world live the most tired? One of the answers was touching. "People who like to compare feel worthless every time they see someone else doing better than themselves. ”
Everyone wants a better life, but what we want to pursue is our own happiness, not the so-called "happiness" compared to others. Only in this way can we truly find the value and meaning of our lives.
Because of the existence of comparison, there is naturally a distinction between good and bad, followed by inner reluctance, loss and endless worries.
If you blindly compete with others in all corners of your life, your life will inevitably be limited.
A reasonable comparison can be used as motivation to move forward. However, when this comparison develops, a distorted comparison mentality inevitably leads the person into a prison of misery and helplessness.
You need to be deeply aware that excessive comparison and jealousy will only weaken your gratitude for what you have.
Only by learning to cherish the present, focus on pursuing what your heart yearns for, be open-minded, and stay away from irrelevant things, can you truly tap the essence of happiness and find contentment and peace. It comes from within you.
You have your life, I have my journey.
Li Yu, the queen of the Southern Tang Dynasty, once poured ink to write a poem "The Fisherman":
The waves are turbulent, the snow scene is thousands of miles, the peach blossoms are blooming, and the spring light is quietly blooming.
How many people in this world can be as carefree as a fisherman, with a jug of wine in his hand and leaning on a rod?
Although Li Yu is the emperor, he yearns for the free life of the fishermen at the bottom. However, everything in the world has its own laws. What you gain will always be lost. The gifts given by fate come with an invisible price.
As the ruler of the world, Li Yu has the highest power, but he also loses the freedom that his heart desires, and the fisherman can roam freely between heaven and earth, but can only live a simple life.
Everyone has their own way of life. Some live under an enviable aura, while others struggle silently in unfamiliar corners. As the song says, "You have your own wonderful life, and I have my own unique journey." ”
People around the world often look outward for answers, but often neglect to look at themselves and unconsciously rely on the lives of others. Define your life worth. However, there is never a single definition of happiness, and instead of blindly envying others, it is better to cherish what you have.
Liu Genghong, who has been in the industry for more than 30 years, has become famous all over the world, and has attracted countless fans on the Internet with the charm of aerobics live broadcast. Previously, his most talked-about identity was his fairytale friendship with Jay Chou.
Although Zhou Jiehong's fame is growing, Liu Genghong's acting career has not had much impact, and his business efforts have not achieved much success. Comparisons between the two are inevitable.
However, in Liu Genghong's heart, he has never envied Jay Chou's brilliance. He confessed to Zhou Jilun many times. "My life is much happier than yours, I can hold hands with my lover, get married, and experience the joy of parenthood, but you can't experience it yet. ”
For Liu Genghong, Jay Chou is like a shining star in the bright starry sky, interpreting the wonderful chapters of life with his relatives who can be immersed in it.
If you are always envious of other people's happiness and indulge in self-pity, it is difficult for you to notice that your happiness has quietly disappeared into endless longing and complaining.
Only by maintaining a rational and objective way of thinking, calmly examining and deeply appreciating every detail of one's life, and accepting the differences between people with a calm and peaceful heart, the worries and pains remaining in the heart will disappear in the morning mist. And so it was gone. It also brings peace and tolerance to the heart.
The best thing to do for the rest of your life: learn from others and compete with yourself.
Ernest Hemingway once profoundly explained: "True nobility lies in surpassing others." True nobility lies in constantly surpassing oneself. "When we attribute it to something, we actually limit ourselves and get into our own way.
Jealousy and resentment are like sowing poison seeds in the heart, hoping that others will be poisoned, but they don't know that in the end it is only themselves who will be hurt. Only by thoroughly injecting these negative emotions into the soul can life be rejuvenated and full of vitality.
Since ** person @ Sui Feng once shared such a story from his college growth experience. She has an older sister who is not only talented and talented, but even before she graduated, she had already interned at a well-known company, and during her graduation season, many famous companies extended olive branches to her. 。
In front of such an excellent senior, Sui Feng feels like an inconspicuous ugly duckling next to a swan. Jealousy and an inferiority complex are intertwined in my heart, and I desire to be as good as my predecessors.
However, she didn't let the gap make her feel anxious or anxious, and she quickly recovered, actively looking for and putting into practice ways to improve the strengths of others.
She learned to listen patiently and maintain a calm mindset in order to foster intimacy. She learned a variety of logical thinking methods to hone her acuity and depth of thinking. I actively challenged myself to communicate and interact with strangers, and developed excellent skills. Eloquence and expressiveness.
From then on, whenever Sui Feng met excellent people, he began to think deeply: "Why are they so good?" "What can you learn from and improve yourself?
These changes have filled her life with motivation and wisdom to move forward.
After a major shift in my way of thinking at work and in life, my self-evaluation system has also changed from "people-oriented" and others-based to self-based. The pursuit of excellence is "self-centered" as the core. Through the process of constantly challenging myself and surpassing myself, I have achieved tremendous and rapid personal growth.
Blindly comparing yourself with others will only disrupt your own rhythm of life, let yourself live in the shadow of others, and fail to express your unique self-worth.
Instead of spending your life in meaningless competition, you should take the good qualities of others as a beacon to move forward and focus on your own improvement.
In this way, the inner world will be rich and fulfilling, and life will become better and better.
Learning from others is not about imitating or following, it's about better competing with yourself, unlocking your inner potential and achieving truly breakthrough growth.
Only in this way can we make real progress in all the struggles with ourselves and make our lives brighter and brighter through self-transcendence.
Yang Jiang once explained: "The personal world is essentially a realm of self-construction and experience, and there is no substantial intersection with the world of others. ”
Whether a person can truly enjoy happiness depends on his height. Although you are in the middle of a crowd, deep down you have a strong sense of self-identity and inner satisfaction.
Life is an imperfect journey, and happiness cannot be measured by a uniform standard. Only when one learns to fully accept oneself and not be bothered by external distractions can one understand and enjoy the true meaning of happiness. The flavor is unique.
A person's life is actually spiritual nourishment. If your heart is as clear as a mirror and there are no clouds, the sky of your life will be clear and clear.
Therefore, we need to let go of the emotions of comparison and competition, focus on the happiness of the moment, live wholeheartedly, and always aim for something better than yesterday. As you accumulate, you will become richer and richer, and you will be able to enjoy a more colorful lifestyle.