A well-known psychologist has explained this in depth. "Apathy is like an internal mechanism of the human psychological defense system, it quietly exists in our nature, warning us to avoid the confusion and troubles in life in time. It is designed to:
The inner world of man is like an energy storehouse, and its capacity is not unlimited. Blindly giving oneself, paying too much attention and considering the feelings of others, over time, this kind of selfless consumption will make people fall into a heavy and tired predicament.
Therefore, we need to understand and practice "moderate distancing", that is, caring for and protecting ourselves in a timely manner. Only in this way can we replenish and restore our inner energy, gain enough strength to care for and warm others, and achieve true empathy and compassion.
Intermittent apathy, moderate empathy.
Empathetic people are always keenly aware of the mood swings of others and can appropriately give the most compassionate comfort. As a result, it has become a spiritual haven for many people and is considered a "tree hole" for them to express their emotions.
However, everyone has their inherent limitations in their ability to convey the emotions of others. Exceeding this threshold can lead to an emotional breakdown and a lack of harmony between life and work.
In the face of frequent complaints and confessions from others, some people have a hard time saying no and prefer to bear it silently. Actually, there is no need to feel so guilty or conflicted.
Someone who genuinely cares about you and respects you will understand your feelings and won't endlessly ask you for too much empathy. And why should you hesitate to be someone who only knows how to consume your emotional value and doesn't care about your feelings? Why don't you dare close the door?
Moreover, in addition to clearly expressing rejection, you can also respond to the other person's emotional appeal subtly and "tactfully". If they can't get the comfort they expect from you, they'll naturally move on to other, more appropriate listeners.
Everything in life has its limits, and too much is never enough. Moderate empathy can bring people closer together and bring them closer together, but excessive empathy is like overpainting yourself in advance and causing invisible damage.
Therefore, understanding the scale of empathy is a particularly important wisdom in interpersonal communication.
Intermittent apathy, learning to refuse.
Sanmao once profoundly explained: "Don't be afraid of rejection. If your reasons are solid and fair, when a person asks for it, that person's heart will be 'ready'. "There are two possible outcomes, so whichever answer is given, it is within the expectations of the other party. ”
If a person is accustomed to constantly trying to maintain their "enthusiastic" image, over time, their perception of what others are actually capable of can easily become biased. If you can't stand it and choose to refuse, there is a good chance that it will cause anger and misunderstanding among those around you.
The state of life is like the ebb and flow of the tide, there are highs and lows. When we are not feeling well, we have the right to speak up and we have the right to resolutely refuse the demands of others. When the other party understands how difficult it is, they will naturally be considerate of others and no longer impose themselves on others.
In fact, many times, it is not others who really cause us trouble, but ourselves. We demand that we be considerate, warm, and generous, but we often suffer from excessive frustration and pressure for this.
Everyone has the right to refuse. If a person is unable to manage his own life well, but takes on too many so-called "responsibilities" and often interferes in the affairs of others, then that person's life will eventually fall into chaos.
Only by sticking to one's own boundaries and extending a helping hand at the right time and in the right amount can true harmony be achieved.
Intermittent apathy and social vacuum.
Sharp-minded, sensitive people often find it difficult to maintain long-term social interactions. Like delicate musical instruments, they must carefully comb and digest the complex perceptions and emotions of the outside world through a quiet solitary process.
However, in real life, many people with sensitive traits tend to choose to suppress their innermost desire for "loneliness". Because they have compassion and concern for others at heart, they worry that temporary withdrawal will be misinterpreted as a sign of apathy or misfits. As a result, people may experience fatigue during prolonged social interactions, and it may take a considerable amount of time to recover and adjust from the state of mental and physical fatigue after the activity.
In fact, the people around us often understand us better than we think. When sensitive people openly express their need for "solitude", others tend to give them full understanding and respect.
We can observe this phenomenon in life. Just like a sunflower draws energy from the outside world, some people seem to exude more energy in conversation, while others may find it fun in conversation, but over time they find it difficult to organize their thoughts and tap into their inner energy**. You need to be alone. These two types of people represent the difference between how they draw their strength from the outside world and how they draw it from the depths of their hearts.
Lao Tzu once said: "Those who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are wise." "Only when a person has a deep insight into himself and lives and does things according to his own nature can he achieve a truly relaxed state, and I can. and live a happy life, thus achieving inner harmony and peace.
Later in life, we need to deeply understand and actively practice controlling our emotions. "Intermittent apathy" is not indifference or alienation from the feelings of others, but rather a wise choice to prioritize and regulate one's own emotional state.
Don't let the distractions of the outside world or the worries of others become a burden that overwhelms your calm inner world. We must learn to face life's challenges with a comprehensive and rational attitude, and not let the mental pain of others invade our spiritual realm.
Taking care of yourself and being kind to yourself is not only the most elegant art of life for the rest of your life, but also a compulsory course for moving towards the highest state of life. At this moment, I would like to invite you to join us in our quest for inner peace and strength.