The person who has hurt us, he is still alive and well.
Always in the dead of night, always in a certain scene, this person, this thing runs out like a ghost, and it stings you deeply. I had a young man who came to visit, and he told me about an experience he had in junior high school: when he was in junior high school, he was very honest, and there was a group of classmates in his class who liked to bully him. He clearly remembered that once, for some unknown reason, the little leader of the group beat him, and said, you have the ability to sue the teacher, and he stood there crying at that time. When the teacher heard the news, the "little leader" immediately cried more than him. Seeing this, the teacher simply said a few words to them and left. After the teacher left, the man immediately put away his tears, laughed at him, and said, "Who wouldn't pretend to cry." He said that every time he thought of his bad face, his face was hot and his eyes were on fire.
When he was a child, this experience deeply affected his current life. As long as there are similar scenes, similar people, he will be very crazy. I remember one night in the unit, I wanted to work overtime in the office, but when I went to the office, I found that there was a colleague who was listening to a song in the office, and the voice was very loud, so he asked the colleague to whisper, or go to another place to listen, but the colleague said: "Why should I be quiet, why should I go somewhere else?" So, he got into an argument with his colleague and got into a fight. He said that when he saw the contemptuous eyes of his colleagues, he was very upset. Another time, he went to the mall to buy clothes, asked the salesperson to bring them to him and tried them on, but he didn't buy them because he didn't think it was appropriate. As a result, when he was leaving, the salesman said, "If you can't afford it, don't try it." He rushed up and wanted to beat the salesman, but fortunately he was stopped by the person next to him.
Why does this matter sting you so much?
Hate yourselfIn addition to hating the person who bullied us, we hated ourselves even more, hated ourselves for being cowardly, hated that I didn't fight back at that time, and didn't beat that hateful person. I said, "Have you ever wondered why you didn't fight back?" He said, "Actually, I'm not short, and I can beat him alone." "What's the reason why you don't fight back? "Because he had a group of people around him, I was scared. "What else? And I think that if I fight back, if I fight, no one will help me, and he will be helped, and I will be scolded by my teachers and parents. "So you didn't fight back at the time, is that also a way to protect yourself?" Maybe it's not the best way, but it's what you thought was the best way at the time, right? He nodded.
Therefore, we must forgive ourselves for not fighting back at the beginning, don't feel guilty, and stop blaming ourselves.
The "scumbag" is alive and well.
The scum who hurt us is still alive, and he is still alive and well. For those who have hurt us, we all hope that these people will be sent by God and punished, in short, if they are still alive and well, they will feel that God is very unfair in their hearts, why are such people still alive. I asked this visitor. How do you think this thing will pass through your heart, and how will you let go? "He needs to apologize, I need to beat him up, I want to tear him apart," he said. I said"Can you do these things now? "
Is there an achievable form of revenge? One day this young man came to ** and said, he said that he had thought about one thing clearly, and he felt that the reason why he had not let go of this matter was that he felt that he couldn't do anything to this person now? I feel that I am still very weak, and there is no way to take this scumbag, so you will always think about revenge. When one day you are convinced that you are beyond him, and when you have the ability to take revenge on him one day, you may no longer want to "retaliate", and that "revenge" is no longer important. Therefore, we are not trying to take revenge on that specific person, but to transcend the "weak" self in our hearts.