I've read a popular science article.
Some scholars have found that when one finger is working, the other fingers will also move.
Connected fingers, as long as you use a slight force, about 5% of the strength of the muscles, will make the left and right fingers move.
In technical terms, called"Finger dependence"., or so called"Slavery between the fingers".
The reason why we popularize the knowledge of fingers is because in our daily life, we not only need to use our hands, but also compare brothers and sisters to siblings.
When we were young, we each had small families, and we were able to live a good life on our own, and we didn't find it difficult to break off relations with our brothers and sisters. There are also some people who are running around for a living and gradually cut off contact with their brothers and sisters.
When we are retired and there is no shortage of money, our parents are also very old, or our parents have passed away, and our children are out of town. Around, in addition to the wife, the best emotion is brotherhood.
From the perspective of the continuation of mankind, the elderly are not virtuous, and the family is hopeless.
Obviously, we can summarize this truth: after retirement, sibling feuds are the greatest sorrow of the family.
Brotherly feuds, wounding 800 people and injuring 1,000 themselves.
The Ming Dynasty writer Feng Menglong wrote a story.
Ni Taishou, who was sixty or seventy years old, lost his wife, and then married Mei for the second time.
HisThe eldest son, Shanji, thinking that his father married a wife just to share the family wealth, so he was angry.
When Mei gave birthThe son is good at tellingAt that time, Zenji turned all kinds of unhappiness in his heart into hatred.
When Ni Taishou reached his twilight years, he knew that his eldest son Shanji would bully his younger brother and stepmother, so he secretly hid the gold and silver treasures in the foundation of the house, drew a drawing, wrote a will, and stored it in a small ball.
After many years, Ni Taishou passed away, and Shanji drove his younger brother and stepmother away. When he told the Yamen complaint, the local ** knee Da Yin searched for a long time, found the clues in the small ball, and redistributed the property according to the drawings and will.
Of course, the money for the complaint also cost thousands of taels of silver.
The poem said: "Hugh is suspicious of his mother's vain words, and he is too selfish for his brother." ”
It's not that the stepmother and brother are ruthless, it's because the brother is too selfish. This truth is clear to others, but the parties are kept in the dark.
The story also bears witness to a common saying"The snipe and the clam compete, and the fisherman wins." ”
When siblings are in trouble, they have to rely on the power of outsiders to persuade education or fight lawsuits. In this way, the fertilized water flows to the fields of outsiders.When we retire, our parents are very old and can't manage their money anymore; When a parent dies, the money is about to be distributed. Sibling cannibalism, that's mostly a fight for family property.
You have a pension, so why fight for it? It's because of the desire for profit.
hurting his brothers and sisters is actually a joke for outsiders.
Spending money to invite outsiders to participate in mediation work is to distinguish between inside and outside, and treat blood as strangers.
If you do your best to hurt your brothers and sisters, you will harm others and yourself, and your own losses may be even greater.
By weighing the pros and cons, you will find that siblings have become enemies, and nothing but hurts family relationships.
Hands and feet are connected, there is giving and taking, and blessings are given to children and grandchildren.
When you have nothing to do, think about it: you have a grudge against your brothers and sisters, and you are already very uncomfortable; Then your children will also make enmity against each other, which will make matters worse.
Why is it that an old man who demands harmony with his children cannot ask for harmony with his brothers and sisters? This is obviously a mistake in the logic of thinking.
Mencius said, "If you can't do something, you should ask for yourself." ”When a family is in disarray, don't blame others, but yourself. The same is true for the elderly, don't be condescending and hand over the task of resolving contradictions to your children.
Grievances and grievances, one generation after another, don't treat hatred as a family heirloom, let alone instigate your children, and how vicious you are to uncles and aunts.
A friend of mine, whose parents are both retired, has a younger sister.
My parents bought a house in the city and built a cottage in the countryside. When it came time to buy a house, the parents said, "All the children have a share." However, after the daughter got married, the parents changed their minds and left the house to their son.
Because of the parents' rebellion, it caused a friend and sister to fall out.
What is worrying is that my sister locked up her "boudoir" and no one was allowed to enter.
As a woman, I often encounter such embarrassment: I am married, and I don't have a house in my mother's house, not even a bed. How sad it is.
Such problems are fundamentally caused by parents.
When we retire, we need to reconcile at least two sibling relationships – ourselves and our siblings; own children. If you can adjust it well, you should rely on "taking the lead in setting an example" instead of preaching.
If you have a good sibling relationship, nephews, nephews, etc., can take care of you; The children will also come to the reunion dinner in harmony. This is a blessing that has a long history.
When the parents are gone, the siblings are the best relatives.
In my hometown, when my parents passed away, I had to invite my parents' siblings to be present.
If the siblings of the parents are gone, then their cousins can also be represented.
When my parents are gone, we still visit our uncles, aunts, and aunts. This is filial piety.
Judging from traditional customs, people must not cut off their blood, otherwise they will be unfilial and indebted to their parents in heaven.
As the saying goes, "Ten fingers connect hearts." ”
Every finger is connected to the heart, and every child is connected to the parents. We must keep this truth in mind for the rest of our lives.
People are researching"Finger dependence".When it was found, the thumb and little finger were relatively insensitive.
Therefore, if we want to reduce family conflicts, we need to do the thumb and little finger - insensitive, and also protect the middle finger. Specifically, the following points should be achieved.
First, keep a proper distance from your siblings and don't get too involved. If there is a conflict, calm each other down for a while.
Second, learn to give, not take. If you escort your siblings, then you are a thumbs up. For example, go and help your brothers and sisters in the countryside, do some farm work, and don't always square dance in the city.
Third, tell your children about good practices, and take your children to visit uncles and uncles, etc., to increase the relationship between generations.
Fourth, don't blame the past, don't remember your parents' mistakes for a long time, and impose them on your siblings.
In "Zhuangzi Tianzi Fang", it is said: "Mourning is greater than the death of the heart, and death is secondary." ”After retirement, we still have to live well, but we must not let our loved ones die, and do not ruin our own mood.
In fact, economically, they all rely on their own and rely on their parents' inheritance, and it is difficult to get rich, and even if they get rich, they can't keep it, after all, morality is corrupt - virtue is not worthy of wealth.
If you quit your financial dependence on the big family as soon as possible, and you can feed back to the big family, you are a real strong person.
Take a good pension and keep a big family, less care, more blessings.