betrayed your husband, are you still willing to redeem it?
It's obvious that a man betrays his marriage, why do he always let women try to redeem it? Many women will be repeatedly entangled and swayed because of this problem in the process of marriage repair. Obviously, it was the man who betrayed the marriage, but he asked me to take care of the overall situation, work hard to improve, and endure humiliation, which is the most hurt place for many original partners in marriage. There are 3 common psychological misunderstandings behind today's situation. These 3 psychological misunderstandings lead you to lose yourself and feelings in the face of men's betrayal, and gradually become the most humble person in your relationship.
The first point is called emotional jet lag. What do you mean? Many women are still immersed in the illusion of a happy marriage when they find out that a man has betrayed, and feel that there is nothing wrong with their marriage. And at this time, the man may have quietly sentenced your marriage to death. In his mind, the marriage in front of him has already failed, and it is even negative.
On the other hand, many men are avoidant men, and they never solve problems head-on. At the same time, they have transferred their emotions to another woman, accelerating the degree of blackened marriage. In order to soothe the guilt in his heart, he is picky about his wife and makes all kinds of excuses for his mistakes. This is emotional jet lag.
Two people are no longer in the same world, the marriage in the eyes of men has entered the night, and the marriage in your eyes is still in a sunny life. Men have long excluded their wives from the emotional world, but women still regard men as husbands.
The second point is called loss aversion. Many women's first reaction after finding out that their husbands have betrayed them is to divorce decisively, but it won't take long. Because of the next uncertain factors, such as financial losses, emotional risks, whether you can find someone who loves you in the future, whether you will die alone, whether it will cause psychological trauma to your children, all uncertainties make it difficult to cut through the mess quickly.
On the other hand, I am unwilling, although my heart no longer loves this man, but I don't want to lose to women outside, and you don't want to get what I can't get.
The third point is called emotional involution. Originally, this man was useless in his eyes, and he disliked him and wanted to divorce him. But now that this man has betrayed and someone is competing with him, the value in the woman's mind has increased, and she will even wonder if there is a problem with her cognition. glanced at himself, and inexplicably began to compete with the women outside.
At this time, if you have the above three mentalities, you must learn to save yourself, don't be misled by these three mentalities, and the most important thing is to find your lost self.
The first is to get your emotions back. If you pay too much attention to the other person's every move, you will let yourself lose control of your emotions and you will experience emotional hemorrhage. So you have to tell yourself that doing nothing at this moment is the only right thing I can do to stop the bleeding and save myself.
Second, regain your self-confidence. Don't tie your self-confidence to a man's good or bad for you, a man's change of heart has nothing to do with your self-confidence. No matter what the woman outside says or does, it can only show that he is very low-level. You have to understand that your self-confidence has nothing to do with others, only with yourself, and it is actually yourself who saves your feelings.
Third, find your sanity. Whether this man is worth it has nothing to do with your previous efforts, and whether there is anyone to rob your husband with you, it only has to do with this man's character, emotional intelligence and your emotional quality.
If none of these three is guaranteed, then redemption becomes meaningless.
I'm Aiden, follow me, and talk to me about marital emotional issues.