If you are bullied by relatives, brothers and sisters, instead of blindly tolerating it, but doing these four points well, many people don't know!
In history, there was a famous figure named Yan Zi, who was very talented, but a short man.
Once, Yan Zi was sent to the state of Chu on a mission. The people of Chu don't open any pot, and they tease him with Yan Zi's height.
A small gate was opened next to the city gate, which was actually a dog cave, and Yan Zi was neither humble nor arrogant, and said: "I heard that I entered the dog cave when I visited the dog country. ”
The people of Chu were speechless when they knew that they were ugly and angry, so they had to greet Yanzi from the gate.
When the king of Chu saw Yan Zi, he still spoke sarcastically, saying, "Is there no one in your Qi country?" How do you arrange for someone like you to come? ”
Yan Zi was neither angry nor violent, and said politely: "Our Qi country is full of talents, and the superior people are sent to visit the superior princes, and the middle people are sent to visit the middle princes, so only people like me who are inferior are sent to see the king." ”
The king of Chu was unhappy in his heart, and secretly ordered someone to catch a Qi person and say that he was a thief, Yan Zi still did not have the slightest fear, and said: "This person is a good citizen in Qi State, why did he become a thief when he arrived in Chu State?" It's really red near Zhu, and black near ink. ”
Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes, and respect is earned by oneself, not endured.
Human nature is dark, and they are all specially pinched with soft persimmons, and human nature will not change because of the distance of the relationship. The more people retreat without a bottom line, the more others will gain an inch.
If you are bullied by relatives or siblings, do not blindly tolerate it, but do these four points well
Zhuge Liang is a pearl of wisdom in Chinese history, Longzhong countermeasures, burning Chibi, six out of Qi Mountain, empty city tricks, strategizing, decisive victory for thousands of miles, bowing to the end, and then dying.
In addition to his admirable intelligence, he always holds a feather fan, which is also impressive.
In fact, this feather fan is said to have an allusion and a very profound meaning.
At the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, Huang Chengyan, a famous scholar in the south of the country, had a daughter named A Chou, and the historical records recorded that she was "yellow-headed and black", which obviously had nothing to do with beauty, but she was talented and the pattern was not ordinary.
Once, after Zhuge Liang finished talking with Huang Chengyan, Ah Chou sent Zhuge Liang back, and before leaving, she gave Zhuge Liang a feather fan.
After Zhuge Liang accepted, Ah Chou asked him: "Do you know why I gave you this feather fan?" ”
Zhuge Liang said: "Sending goose feathers for thousands of miles is a light courtesy. ”
Ugly said: "This is not the point, just now you talked to your father about the world, and I observed that your words and deeds were full of joy and anger.
When talking about you being reused by the thatched house, your eyebrows fluttered;When it comes to Longzhong's countermeasures, the timing is set to be full of time, and the spirit is high;And when it comes to Cao Cao's domination of the northern soldiers, his brows are deeply locked;When it was said that Sun Quan was entrenched in Jiangdong, it was easy to defend and difficult to attack, and he was worried.
The eldest husband should be moody and angry when doing things, so I gave you this fan to cover your face. ”
Ah Chou later became Zhuge Liang's wife.
As the saying goes, "distance produces beauty", if you get too close to your relatives and siblings, it is inevitable that there will be all kinds of frictions, and there will be misunderstandings because of some trivial things, which will damage the relationship between the two parties.
If you want to have a good relationship with your relatives and siblings, you must have a sense of boundaries.
Lend a helping hand when the other person needs help, but don't disturb the cause and effect of others too much, no matter how rich you are, don't show off to the other person, and no matter how good the relationship is, don't get too involved in the other person's family affairs.
If you are unfortunate enough to have a misunderstanding with your relatives and siblings and are bullied, you must know how to keep a bowl of soup away and wait for the opportunity to reconcile.
Remember not to be angry and angry, and meet like enemies, so that the originally frosty relationship will freeze and be difficult to dissolve.
In ancient times, there was a simple young man named Ah Chun, whose parents died early, and he followed his brother and sister-in-law to make a living.
When he was 18 years old, his brother said, "You have grown up, it's time to divide the family, and you can go to the acre of land on the ridge and live in the cowshed." ”
The younger brother was very sad and said, "Brother, I can have no good land, even if I live in the cowshed, I have no complaints, I only beg you to give me the old cattle, I can farm." ”
The elder brother said: "The old scalper can't give it to you, you can only rent it, and give me half of your annual income, and it will be your rent." ”
The younger brother had no choice but to agree to his brother's unreasonable request.
After the younger brother was divided, he worked hard every day, but he not only had to plant his own land, but also helped to plant his brother's land, and finally he was tired.
Because it was just in time for the busy farming season, the eldest brother had no choice but to lead the old cow to work in the field, but the old cow struck, and the eldest brother beat the old cow to death in anger.
When my brother got better, I went to my brother and found out that the old scalper was dead, and he cried very sadly, so he buried the old cattle.
In the evening he had a dream in which the old ox told him that a sapling had grown on its grave, and that when the soybeans were fried, a few leaves were plucked into it.
The next day, he did so, and oddly enough, he started farting since he ate soybeans fried in leaves.
So, people rushed to invite him to fart incense, and he made a lot of money because of it, and his life was prosperous in a few years.
The elder brother was very red-eyed, so he asked him the reason, and he told him the truth, but the elder brother ate the soybeans fried with leaves but put them into stinky farts, and since then he has been notorious in the neighboring Bali.
He used to live by occupying the little family property left by his parents, he was lazy and lazy, and he sat on the empty mountain within a few years, and he no longer dared to bully his younger brother, and the ending was tragic.
And when Ah Chun was bullied by his brother, he was neither humble nor arrogant, he did not give up on himself, he did things according to his heart, he was hard working and kind, but he was blessed.
The so-called: "Tie a high-headed horse in front of the door, not to come in person, but also to be in person." A begging stick is placed in front of the door, and relatives and old friends do not come to the door. ”When a loved one has done something sorry for you, you should not be in a hurry to resent, but be neither humble nor arrogant, do things with your heart, silently accumulate strength, and live like a human being, so that good will be rewarded with good, and evil will be rewarded with evil.
There is a pair of sisters, the elder sister is called Lotus and the younger sister is called Camellia, and they were born in a family with a severe patriarchal attitude.
The sisters couldn't bear the ruthless oppression of their parents, and when they became adults, they worked outside to earn money for the family for a few years, and they all got married one after another.
They thought that after marrying someone and leaving the shackles of their original family, they could live their own small life in peace.
However, unexpectedly, their parents still did not let them go.
The younger brother got married and bought a wedding house, and his parents asked each of the sisters to come up with 100,000 yuan to help.
The eldest sister had a weak personality, so she had to obediently take out 100,000 yuan, but she was burdened with a debt, which made her in-laws unhappy.
But her sister Camellia insisted on her principles and bottom line from the beginning, and she couldn't stick to a penny.
She said to her parents: "Before I got married, almost all the money I earned from working every year was handed over to you, and I have no complaints, however, now that I am married and have my own family, my current economic conditions do not allow me to sacrifice my small family to supplement my younger brother, I have the obligation to support my parents, but I have no obligation to supplement my younger brother." ”
The parents said angrily: "Since you say so, then it is not my daughter, and I don't want to go back to my parents' house in the future." ”
Camellia said: "You will always be my parents, and your mother's family can not go back, but I will never take the money, I have my principles and bottom line." ”
Since then, Camellia has lived a prosperous life without the drag of her mother's family, but the eldest sister's life has always been dragged down by her mother's family for several years before she is willing to give up.
As there is a saying: "When a bowl of water is uneven, only by sacrificing that kind person can it be calm." Once the kindest person is no longer willing to sacrifice, it will be labeled as a disharmony breaker, and maybe you are experiencing it. ”In this materialistic world, kindness must have a ruler, tolerance must be moderate, if you want others to take into account your feelings, don't accommodate everything, keep your own bottom line, in order to win the respect of others. In the world, respect is the standard, reliable is high, kindness is the top match, don't be too well-behaved, don't know how to refuse what you don't want to do, don't force what you can't do, no matter who you are, you treat me with affection, I will be righteous to you, this is the rule, but also polite.
Everyone loves to pinch soft persimmons, whether it is between relatives or brothers and sisters, if there is no one to protect you, you must know how to be kind with a little thorn and escort yourself.
65-year-old Lao Zhang, when he was young, he had a conflict with his eldest brother because of his parents' support issues, and he was young and vigorous at that time, and he fought with his eldest brother in a fit of anger, resulting in the brothers not getting along for many years.
When his eldest brother was 60 years old, he suddenly had cancer, and after he found out, he took a train overnight to the hospital to visit.
The brothers, who hadn't seen each other for many years, hugged and cried, and the eldest brother forgave him, and he also eliminated the resentment in his heart.
He accompanied his eldest brother out of the hospital all the time, and gave his eldest brother 50,000 yuan before leaving.
Soon after he returned home, he received a ** from his nephew, saying, "Thank you, uncle, for letting my father fulfill a long-cherished wish." My father asked me to return the one that belonged to you to you, and you would often come home to see it when you had time. ”
After Lao Zhang hung up, he burst into tears and reconciled with his eldest brother, which was also his long-cherished wish for many years.
I like this sentence very much: "A person must have both a bodhisattva heart and a vajra wrist." ”A person has the heart of a bodhisattva, his heart is always kind, with good intentions, and there are thunderous means to do things, he can resolve the contradiction at the right time and turn the conflict into a jade silk.
In fact, between relatives and siblings, in a long trivial life, it is inevitable that there will be conflicts because of various things, some people will be bullied, and some people will bully others.
When people are bullied, the best way to deal with it is not to retaliate with a tooth for a tooth, but to make themselves better, live better, and live better.
The relationship between siblings also needs to be managed.
Between brothers and sisters, the best way to get along, remember this "four words" true trick:Be discussing, courteous, humble and courteous, keep the bottom line, live like a person, and earn respect.