"Is your grandmother with the baby, or grandma with the baby? ”
When it comes to this topic, Xiaojun has a stomach full of things to say.
Xiaojun's mother-in-law's home is in Shanxi, she settled in Tianjin, before giving birth, Xiaojun told her mother-in-law to let her take care of the confinement child, and also prepared everything.
When the due date was approaching, Xiaojun asked her mother-in-law to come, but her mother-in-law said that she had severe motion sickness and could not come to Tianjin.
But later, the eldest sister-in-law gave birth to a second child, but the mother-in-law was able to transfer the car twice from Shanxi and go to Beijing to take care of the sister-in-law for more than three months.
Xiaojun could only call ** to report the situation to her mother, and her mother comforted her that she didn't have to worry, she would come as soon as possible. This made Xiaojun feel relieved, because the arrival of her mother would bring her great help and support. Mother's love is great!
Xiaojun's mother has not yet retired, but suddenly she only took a three-day vacation and came to Xiaojun's house with a large bag, which made the mother and daughter feel very happy and surprised. Mom invited the leader and took the initiative to take a long leave to visit Xiaojun, which made Xiaojun very moved. Now, they enjoy a rare family time together.
Xiaojun's mother is really a good mother, not only contributed money and efforts during the confinement, but also took care of the mother and son in vain. But what surprised me was that during this time, she herself lost seven or eight pounds. This reflects the greatness of mother's love, and it also makes us feel more about the mother's difficulty.
Xiaojun has to go to work after maternity leave, and her mother's vacation has arrived, and she wants her mother-in-law to help take care of the child for a year, but her mother-in-law said that she has high blood pressure and the child is too noisy to watch, but she can help her sister-in-law take care of two children who are less than 3 years old.
Xiaojun sighed:
In the final analysis, it's still the mother who feels sorry for her daughter!
In many people's cognition, after the child is born, if the elderly need to help take care of the baby, the grandmother is generally the first choice.
Nowadays, in the city, the main force with children is grandma. When you arrive at the park, you can see these enthusiastic elderly people playing with their grandchildren everywhere. Although the grandmothers are old, they are still full of energy and use their experience and wisdom to bring a lot of joy and love to their grandchildren. They are the sun in the process of children's growth, selflessly shining on the children's growth path.
According to relevant surveys, there are nearly 18 million elderly people in China, accounting for 2 percent of the country7. of the 4.7 billion floating population2%。
In the city, there is nearHalf of the family is helping with the baby.
We also have a saying here that "there is a monster in Tianjin, who gave birth to a child and grandma".
In our community, except for some grandmothers who take turns to help take care of children, more than 70% of families are grandmothers taking care of children.
More and more families have babies with babies, and the reasons are also very common.
1.Times are changing
In the past, the tradition of marriage was for the woman to marry into the man's family and live with the man's parents. In modern society, although this traditional marriage model still exists, there are more and more young couples who choose to be independent and choose to live farther away from the man's family. Whichever option is chosen, mutual respect and understanding are necessary for a happy marriage.
After the child is born, the grandmother occupies the advantage of "the first month near the water", and it is more convenient to take care of it.
Traditionally, a child's surname should follow the father's surname. So, many people take it for granted that grandma takes grandchildren for granted. However, in today's open and pluralistic society, family structures are also diverse, and it is impossible to generalize. Each family's own decision should be respected and the best way for the child's development should be sought.
Today, with the rapid development of the economy and the gradual renewal of concepts, China's fertility policy no longer encourages more children as in the past. Therefore, more and more post-85 parents choose to have only one child. This phenomenon has broken some traditional customs, especially the idea of "more children, more blessings". However, having a single child also makes the family more delicate and harmonious, and parents can care for their children's development more comprehensively.
After getting married, many young people choose to live on their own and live their own lives with their parents.
Coupled with the migration of people, some young people have moved to big cities to settle down, all away from their parents.
Therefore, after the third generation came, grandma will also contribute money and efforts to help her daughter take care of the baby for the sake of her daughter's small family.
Many mothers prefer to choose their own mother, the child's grandmother, when choosing who will take care of their children. Because grandma has rich parenting experience and selfless love, she can take better care of her children. At the same time, it can also make mothers feel more at ease to work or rest. In the family, grandma is a very important existence, and she has always been a strong backing of a family.
2.Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship
Some people say, "The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult relationship in the world."
Although the mother-in-law is also a mother, emotionally, she is "strange" with her daughter-in-law.
The differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law become more prominent with the arrival of the child. Mothers and grandmothers may have different ideas and approaches to parenting. We should respect everyone's point of view, but also learn to properly resolve differences between different opinions in order to create a harmonious and cohesive family environment.
Keeping a little distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can make the relationship better.
After Xinxin gave birth to a child, her husband asked her mother-in-law to come to the house to help take care of the child, and Xinxin agreed.
We often say that falling in love is easier said than getting along, and in a relationship, the important thing is not only to love each other, but also to pay attention to getting along. Only by getting along can we feel the beauty of mutual understanding, respect, support and growing together. However, sometimes we find that in the bits and pieces of life, our way of thinking, parenting concepts, economic concepts, living habits, etc. are not on the same channel, and our life is very depressing and hard. To be a harmonious family, getting along is essential. Let's focus on how to get along and establish just the right tacit understanding.
The relationship between husband and wife has also become sensitive and quarrelsome because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
After the mother-in-law took the child for half a year, she went home under the pretext of being unwell, and Xinxin did not keep it.
Xinxin asked her mother to help take care of the child, and her mother readily agreed.
After the mother came to take the child, Xinxin had more time to study and work.
Sometimes I don't need to tell my mother, and my mother thinks of many things in advance.
As the saying goes, "mother and daughter are connected", Bao Ma and Grandma have lived together since childhood, they know each other, and their living habits will not be very different.
Communication between mother and daughter is a rare and beautiful relationship. Even if there are some differences and wrong words, the mother will never hold a grudge, but pay more attention to the actual needs of her daughter. Compared with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, the communication between mother and daughter is usually more relaxed and pleasant. We should cherish this precious bond and spend more time with our mothers to understand each other's hearts.
Xinxin said: Without so many internal frictions and contradictions, I feel that my life is happier and better. ”
3.Grandma can't take it
In some families, grandmothers take care of their children instead of grandmothers, perhaps because grandmothers are too weak to take care of their children. Every family's situation is different, but the love and support between family members remains the same.
Taking care of children requires energy and patience, but some elderly grandmothers suffer from various chronic diseases because of their poor health, and they may not be life-threatening, but they are really unable to take care of their grandchildren. These grandmothers have had to leave their children to find other help or pay for domestic help. Fortunately, there are many social organizations and volunteers who provide support and care for these elderly people in need. We should cherish the elderly and help them live comfortably in their old age.
Some grandmothers have emptied their families when they buy a house for their son and get married, and they need to continue to work to make money.
Or the grandmother's income is high, and she is reluctant to give up, so she simply does not take the baby and gives some financial assistance to the small family.
Some grandmothers are far away from their sons' homes and don't want to leave their hometowns, so they are separated from their wives, so they simply find reasons to refuse to take their grandchildren.
Of course, there are also some grandmothers who do not help with the children because they have a bad relationship with their daughter-in-law, or they do not want to help their daughter-in-law take care of the children when they see that their daughter-in-law has a daughter, etc.
Hugo saidPoor mothers! One of the more heartbreaking things than seeing one's own children die is watching them suffer.
There are many grandmothers who help their daughters take care of their babies when they should be enjoying their old age, except that grandma can't take them, more because they feel sorry for their children.
They know that it is not easy to have a baby and raise a babyI don't want my daughter to be wronged, and I don't want my daughter to lose her freedom at home full-time.
Many grandmothers long for a free life after retirement, but they are more afraid that their children will lose their freedom by taking care of them. In fact, we should respect the choices and needs of the elderly, help them to have their own lives, and let us do our filial piety. Let's care for the elderly together and accompany them through the good times of their old age.
Leaving the familiar environment, anyone can feel lonely. Just like grandma leaves family and friends, she is no exception. Loneliness accompanies her, like a shadow, and follows her wherever she goes. We can care more about the elderly around us and bring them warmth and love.
When I come to my daughter and son-in-law's house, there will be a lot of discomfort.
When we take care of children, we are often careful to protect them. This is because we fear that they will be blamed for being hurt. Whether it is a son-in-law or an in-law, they all want their children to be safe and healthy. Therefore, we must do our best to take care of them and keep them safe from any harm.
Everyone wants to be able to return to the comfort of their home after a tiring day. For daughters and sons-in-law, this home is where they live with their families. And for their parents, this home is a place they take care of and love. They live in the house of their daughter and son-in-law, and they are constantly busy, in addition to taking care of the children, they also have to clean, cook, and buy groceries, just to give their family a warm home. In this home, everyone feels happy and fulfilled because they do their best to take care of their cohabiting family, and it is this love and care that makes this home more warm and beautiful.
Even when he speaks, he sometimes becomes cautious, for fear that he will make his son-in-law unhappy if he says the wrong thing, and make his daughter embarrassed in the middle.
Although some things seem insignificant, for grandma, they have to face every day.
Mill said:Mother's love is the greatest force in the world.
With a strong will, the grandmothers overcame their background and physical hardship to come to their daughters to take care of their grandchildren. They sacrificed their comfort and comfort for the sake of a better life for their daughters and grandchildren. In their eyes, helping their daughter is their greatest happiness. We should learn from the optimism and tenacity of our grandmothers, cherish the loved ones around us, and let the love and gratitude continue.
Please cherish the mother who came to help you take care of the child, and the mother who helped you without regrets!
She'll help you with the kidsIn addition to loving children, but also because I love you.
Mother's love is the greatest, because of the mother's burden to move forward and fulfill, we have happy years. They give silently so that we can live a comfortable life. We should cherish our mothers' love and be grateful for all they have done for us.
No matter how busy your life is, please give a little time to your motherPay more attention to your mother's physical and mental health.
We should take our mother to a check-up regularly and keep an eye on her physical condition. If the mother is not feeling well, we want to take her to the doctor immediately and without delay. Mother is one of the people closest to us, and we want to do everything we can to take care of her health and make her happy and healthy.
When I usually rest, I can do more if I can, let my mother rest and rest, let her go to square dance, do some things she wants to do, and give my mother some independent space;
When I have time, I take my mother out to play, see good scenery, and let my mother really "have fun when you are old".
When I come back every day, I also take some time to chat with my mother for a while, so that my mother is not so lonely.
In addition to caring for your mother, you should also guide your other half and your children to care for your mother.
Let my mother's later life be less aggrieved, more satisfied and happy, and we can be happier!