Life, when you first enter the WTO, you learn to speak, and as the years go by, it has been three years since you spoke, but the wise man understands that the practice of a lifetime is more about learning to keep silent.
Entering the age of 50 is like reaching the pinnacle of life, testing the stability of the family and the direction of the future.
On the road to life, you need to not only plan for your retirement, but also plan for your children's future. Like a myriad of trivial matters, it is important to be careful not to get the family into trouble.
Therefore, when you go out for a walk, do not speak rashly. It is wise to know how to keep your mind in mind so as not to cause unnecessary distractions. In interpersonal communication, we should be far-sighted and know how not to meet others, so that we can enjoy peace and tranquility in the world.
Avoid revealing unfulfilled plans, such as undecided marriages for children, as making them public too early may lead to criticism and may even be vandalized.
As the saying goes, "I haven't skimmed the eight characters yet." ”
Indeed, many things are just preliminary planning or only some signs. To see it as an "achievement" is to deceive oneself.
As a parent, one of the most important things is related to the marriage of your children. I sincerely hope that my children will find a good person and spend their lives hand in hand.
Once a child is married, it is comforting to provide some support to their parents.
Many people are eager to let the world know that their children are married and that life is in full swing. In fact, this is just showing off, boasting.
It needs to be recognized that what you show off, what you may lack and what you may lose.
Han Feizi once said in "Difficult to Say": "The husband is made by secret, and the words are defeated." It may not be that his body is discharged, but that he is in danger of talking about what he is hiding. ”
Something hasn't worked out yet, but it's not ashamed to speak out, which can be potentially risky.
I have an aunt who has two sons at home, the eldest son is in his thirties and is still unmarried, which makes the family very anxious.
Last winter, the eldest son finally found a divorced woman, and the relationship between the two progressed rapidly.
The aunt held her head high in the village and proudly said: "Look, my son is not a bachelor after all." ”
Some villagers were jealous of their aunts, inquired about the situation in private, and even visited the aunt's daughter-in-law's home in person, spreading negative remarks to the fullest.
After a while, the aunt found out that the future daughter-in-law had gone to Dongguan to work, and said that "I don't consider getting married all these years".
Human nature is complicated, and my aunt has suffered some losses because of this.
Some people also began to ridicule the aunt: "Your son is really useless, he can't get a divorced woman." ”
From then on, my aunt no longer knew how to hold her head high in front of people.
The marriage of the children shall be made public by the feast of relatives and friends on the day of the decision to get married; As for the marital status of the children, it is enough to know, there is no need to complain about unsatisfactory conditions, and there is no need to exaggerate happiness, so that outsiders know little about it, and unnecessary disturbances are reduced.
It's crucial to keep a low profile when dealing with issues within the home without involving privacy. Liu Bowen once said: "The gold and jade are outside, and the defeat is in it." This maxim conveys two deep meanings: first, what is shiny on the outside may be dilapidated on the inside, such as "beautiful pillows, gorgeous sofas"; The second is that despite the possible internal troubles, the external image should still be decent.
In the family, it is essential to present a positive image to the outside world and maintain a harmonious atmosphere. In this way, outsiders will be willing to help because of a good impression. After all, few people are willing to help a "broken" family. Especially when it comes to borrowing, who wants to lend money to a family that is about to fall apart? Debt disputes can also become tricky in the future.
When a person is over 50 years old, he may find that there are conflicts between husband and wife, problems with the small family of children, and even conflicts between in-laws, and scandals in the workplace are gradually revealed. In this case, it is important not to make public the problems within the family, which is the privacy of life.
There was once a female netizen named "Arctic Catfish" who ** her grandfather's life and claimed that it might be involved in corruption. Later, she revealed to fans from time to time that she had a nine-figure deposit in her family. This has caused a lot of questions, and netizens' doubts about her family have spread, and even revealed the occupations and industries of family members.
The power of the internet has plunged the family into chaos. Whatever the end result, this is a terrible lesson. On some platforms, there are reports that Zhao Qingshu and Fan Dandan, a post-90s couple, set up stalls in Yiwu, allegedly earning 9,000 a day. However, countless netizens began to question it, and relevant departments intervened in the investigation. Eventually, the couple had to change their tune, saying that they only occasionally had a higher income for a day or two, and it was a gross income, and the cost was also high, and they hired employees to pay wages.
When you find out that someone is attacking your "soft underbelly", you are actually exposing those "soft underbelly" yourself. Therefore, people should really avoid asking for troubles and instead show the positive energy in their lives and convey the happiness of their families. If it's not necessary, keep a low profile, enjoy the joy of family, and stick to the past when dealing with unpleasant matters. 
Avoid getting involved in disputes between right and wrong: Disputes in the outside world are not relevant to individuals, and once you get involved, you may get involved in disputes and bring trouble to your family.
In rural areas, many residents usually find a "middleman" to mediate when conflicts arise.
Once the elders of the family with high prestige and the village party secretary intervene in the conflict and say a few fair words, everyone usually accepts it, thus alleviating the conflict.
At the age of fifty, you are both a parent and a mature person, and if you have the opportunity to act as an intermediary, you must be careful to avoid thankless efforts.
As a last resort, it is best not to meddle in other people's affairs and keep your distance.
Sun Tzu's Art of War mentions: "Giving people words is more important than pearls and jades; It hurts more than a sword. ”
The slightest carelessness in the choice of words can turn into a sharp edge, destroying interpersonal relationships and arousing resentment in others.
For example, if someone borrows money from you and asks you to guarantee it, although it was a good intention at the time, if the other party does not repay the loan, you need to be held liable, which is equivalent to shooting yourself in the foot.
What's even more heart-wrenching is that if you don't handle things properly, your family may also be implicated. Therefore, for the sake of the peace of mind of the family, it is best to stay away from distractions and avoid unnecessary involvement.
Jia Pingwa expressed this view in his book: "When you enter your fifties, you will realize that there is not much to do in life, and most of what we are engaged in is to find our own place. ”Yes, as you get older, revisit your position and become an individual who is more suitable for your position.
You may be a parent, or a grandparent, a parent, a colleague at work, or someone else's relatives and friends, a member of the community, a resident of a village, etc. Each identity implies a different social role, and different melodies are sung with different positions.
If you feel speechless, then stay silent and respond to life's bits and pieces with a smile.