Parents' attention to their own growth is the most effective way to solve the problem. Parents must first learn to grow themselves in order to see their children as they are through the fog. I hope the following content will be enlightening to parents and friends.
1.The Law of Example
Leading by example, teaching by example" is universal. Most of the children's upbringing, interests, hobbies, etc. come from the ears and eyes of the growth environment.
Parents, siblings, relatives and friends, teachers, social relationships, etc., all have an impact on children. Mothers have an important influence on girls and fathers on boys. In addition to role models within the family, it is also important to pay attention to the impact of social relationships and frequent occasions on your child. For teenagers, parents should also pay attention to the best movies and television that their children like to watch, and understand what their idols are like.
If you find that your child has made a bad friend by mistake, don't arbitrarily stop them from coming and going, but be informed. Children need friendship and are afraid of loneliness, and some children are in the company of "marginal children" because they have no friends when they move to a new environment.
In addition, it is necessary to find and expand new healthy friendship circles for children.
2.The law of seeking common ground while reserving differences
Respect your child's view of the world and try to understand them as much as possible.
Children and ** tend to have different opinions, and they will have a lot of fantasies that don't conform to the norm. In fact, these are the lovely things about childlike innocence, and if adults think that children's ideas are strange and pour cold water on them, it will stifle their imagination and curiosity, and it will also make them disappointed because they are not understood.
On the other hand, many times, it is only the innocent child who has an objective opinion and dares to speak the truth. Childlike words. It is necessary to combine the "sound law" to encourage children to dare to express themselves and affirm their ideas positively. Of course, if some opinions and statements are out of touch with reality or cause trouble, they should also be patiently explained.
Children with immature thoughts and ways of thinking are often not able to think in many directions, but only continue their own train of thought, so they do not think things through. Parents should try their best to understand the characteristics of children's thinking, and can use the method of breaking down and simplifying complex things, explaining to them in stages and batches or asking for their opinions.
All matters related to the children themselves, such as moving to another school, choosing extracurricular activities, participating in exams and competitions, etc., must be discussed and explained before the children, even if they cannot fully follow the children's opinions, let them feel that the parents have asked for their opinions. Otherwise, the kindness of parents is likely not to be rewarded.
3.Use the law of punishment sparingly
Simple punishment, especially corporal punishment, is a very negative and clumsy way of education, and it is also uncivilized. The use of punitive methods is therefore not recommended. However, it is not forbidden to criticize the child, and it is also possible to punish the child in an appropriate way.
But the premise is that the child must realize that he has done something wrong and be willing to accept the punishment so that he will not make an example. The punishment should also be reasonable, and it can be taken to prevent them from doing what they like, such as punishing them for a few days and not being allowed to watch TV and play games online.
Also, because even children know that punishment is negative, don't take some positive things that should be done as punishment. For example, punishing children for working will make them think that work is a bad thing and develop disgust.
4.The Law of Consequence
Let your child know about the possible consequences of his or her actions.
Sometimes, when the child causes any trouble or wants to do something unusual, he doesn't even understand the consequences and harms, and he blames or blocks the child, which is of course unconvincing.
If you want to educate your child to be convinced, parents, teachers and other adults must first think carefully about the causes and consequences of everything, and then talk to your child well.
In fact, the consequences are not all negative. Adults have more experience than children and should be more predictable. For example, when guiding children to choose interests or apply for schools, parents can do some research on the prospects and encourage them to develop according to their characteristics. However, if you don't go through your own mind to analyze and think, just follow the crowd and follow the trend, it is not an effective consequence analysis method, and it will often delay children.
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About fish andSea
Fish & Sea Education, is an institution that focuses on adolescent psychological counseling. In the past 8 years, it has provided high-quality services to more than 38,000 families. The exclusive research and development of "Concentric Circles Family Education Ecosystem" has been upgraded to the seventh generation; The "581 Dual System Dynamic Adjustment Method" based on "concentric circles" has been highly praised by a large number of parents.
The predecessor of Fish and Sea Education is the "Fish and Sea Psychology Exchange Group", which was established in 2015, and the eight co-sponsors are education leaders, primary and secondary school teachers, college teachers, hospital psychiatrists, and experts in the psychological counseling industry. After the establishment of the studio, andIn 2019, it was operated as a company, with the research center located in Beijing and the operation center set up in Zhengzhou.
Fish & Sea Education has always attached great importance to product research and development. Its subordinate [Fish and Sea Family Education Research Center] regularly holds product seminars, and there are more than 100 seminars at present. At the same time, the center cooperates with colleges and universities, and invites a number of university psychology professors and psychology doctors to serve as researchers.
Yuhehai Education explored the guidance model of "offline + online" earlier, and became a pioneer in the field of adolescent psychology in March 2020. The online guidance service, which was launched due to the sudden epidemic, has been very popular due to its privacy, convenience and efficiency, and has unique advantages, and has achieved significantly more guidance results than offline.
Adhere to refined service. In 2020, Yuhehai launched the "2020-2025 Fine Project", proposing to be before 2025"Only 3,000 families are served each year".
Stick to warm actions. In 2016, "Fish and Sea Public Welfare" was established. In the past 6 years, "Fish and Sea Charity" has affected more than 1,000 families and touched 10,000+ children.
Continue to output original content. Up to now, the top platforms of Yuhehai Education have published original youth psychological science articlesarticle, Zhihu answeredArticle, popular science**, the total number of views has exceeded one million.
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Editor-in-chief of the column: Qin Zhiyu.
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