When people pass the age of 60, they will have such a plan: as long as the old husband and wife are alive and can take care of themselves, they will not trouble their children; If the wife is gone, the remaining person will rely on the children, and if he can't walk, he will live in the children's house.
According to the logic of filial piety, as a single, lonely, and sick old man, there should be someone to greet him every day, and there should be hot meals.
Most elderly people will also choose to live at their son's house instead of their daughter's house. It's all about traditional customs.
When he really lives in his son's house, the old man will find that he is in a miserable state and is still hated by his son and daughter-in-law.
Don't be in a hurry to blame your son and daughter-in-law, you should see what bad habits you have, which has led to the unrest of the family and brought dissatisfaction to your daughter-in-law.
If the elderly have the following bad habits, please correct them as soon as possible.
Unhygienic: Life is sloppy.
Some elderly people have been under the care of their wives all their lives, dressing, eating, and never doing housework. Once you don't have a wife, you become very sloppy.
Although the son and daughter-in-law will also remind the elderly to pay attention to dressing up and usually wash their clothes and pants, they are not as intimate as their wives. Therefore, the old man's body is still not clean enough.
Some old people are too frugal, they are reluctant to throw away anything, and they carry everything home. As a result, my son's home is full of plastic bottles, cardboard boxes, etc., and the smell is particularly unpleasant.
Some elderly people do not wash their feet or flush the toilet. Anyway, I lived alone before, and I have nothing to do with my children. But living in his son's house, these behaviors are unreasonable.
It is not surprising that the old people who don't like cleanliness and wait for their sons and daughters-in-law to help clean up are hated.
Don't talk about morality: When you meet people, you will say that your family is ugly.
The old man lived in his son's house, saw the "various shortcomings" of his son's house, and found that his daughter-in-law was not as good as she was at the beginning, and even his son and daughter-in-law often quarreled.
Seeing the ugly side of the family, the old man was in the community, making irresponsible remarks, causing the people in the community to point fingers at his son and daughter-in-law, which made people's spines numb.
There is wind and grass at home, that is, what dishes are eaten at noon, the old man has to tell his neighbors. It seems that the family has no privacy left.
If there are grandchildren in the family, the old man will also say that the grandchildren are useless and not as good as others. The implication is that the education level of his son and daughter-in-law is very poor, and there is no hope for the future.
Eating and drinking rely on his son and daughter-in-law, but "all kinds of bad reviews" frequently pop out of his mouth, who can stand it?
What's more, in the city, unlike in the countryside, people are not very familiar with each other, and it is difficult to empathize. It will definitely not work for the old man to mistake outsiders for relatives and friends.
Don't tell the truth: start twilight love at will.
From the son's point of view, if one of the parents leaves first, then the person who stays will be better taken care of and brought to his own home.
But when he found that the old man who stayed behind, he found a new wife and his son's mind immediately changed.
Don't let your father or mother live at her son's house with a new wife. It's too embarrassing to get along in this way.
When the old man lives in his son's house, he is still looking for twilight love everywhere, and the people around him will inevitably leave gossip; The son will be very faceless.
Moreover, twilight love may lead to the loss of the elderly's family wealth and the deception of money. How can you not be worried?
In the TV series "It's All Good", after Su Daqiang lost his lover, he fell in love with the nanny Xiao Cai, and he was also preparing to transfer the house to Xiao Cai. It aroused the anger of several children, and the family began to fall out.
In real life, just like the situation in TV series, casual twilight love cannot be accepted.
Calm down and think about it, the old man brought a new girlfriend today and asked his son and daughter-in-law to call "Auntie"; Tomorrow, the old man will take an old man and let him shout "Uncle and Uncle", how uncomfortable will he feel in his heart?
Either fall in love steadily, or simply be single, don't be amorous. This is the self-discipline of the elderly.
Don't talk about the rules: the distribution of family wealth is too capricious.
There is a word called "eating inside and out". This is a derogatory term, mostly used to swear people.
But some old people did just that.
For example, an old man lives in his son's house, and the son takes care of the food and sleeps. Usually, I will also give change and let the elderly buy some food for themselves.
What about the elderly? kept all the money and secretly gave it to his daughter and son-in-law.
My son bought very expensive fruits, meat, etc. The old man took it and sent it to his daughter's house, or to another son's house.
The old man lives in his son's house, and transfers his old house and savings to his daughter or another son.
It seems that the old man is borrowing flowers to offer Buddha, but in fact, there is "no distinction between inside and outside".
As the saying goes, "No rules, no circle." ”
If the rules of the family are messed up, the elderly will inevitably be hated if they handle family relations and property according to their own eccentric practices.
Maybe the old man doesn't have much money, but a fair attitude is more important than money.
Not scientific: Particularly superstitious about life and death.
A friend of mine told a very painful story.
After my friend's father died, my mother lived with my friend.
Every festival, when the family is reunited, my mother will put an extra bowl and a pair of chopsticks next to it, and say, "This is for your father." He's going to be back for the holidays, too. ”
At the beginning, everyone understood very well, after all, the pain of losing her husband was there.
But my mother has been doing this for a long time, and it is very uncomfortable for everyone to eat. The pain of parting has been dug out again and again, and it is invisibly magnified.
If the mother is prevented from doing this, the mother will make a fuss, saying that everyone is not filial and that she is sorry for the father.
My friend's mother is still very afraid of birth, old age, sickness and death, so she is at home at every turn, burning incense and paper money, and the house is also full of smoke.
In fact, there are people who are more powerful than their friends' mothers, who can try to make an altar at home and ask a Taoist priest to do it. The thought of it makes my scalp tingle.
For sacrifices, we need it, but we have to believe in science even more.
You have to move towards the future, instead of dwelling on the pain of the past and finding out some bad people and bad things.
As an old man, he finds the reason from himself in advance, instead of blaming his son and daughter-in-law for being unfilial as soon as he opens his mouth.
First, maintenance should be fair, and sons and daughters should be the same. Don't let your son be kidnapped by morality.
Second, the elderly should develop the habit of paying attention to hygiene, less nagging, and know how to respect the younger generation.
Third, don't treat your son-in-law and daughter-in-law as outsiders, and don't interfere with the love of your younger generations.
Fourth, keep yourself clean, don't do things that lack morality, and don't start falling in love at will.
Losing my wife is indeed a very painful thing, but after all, we have to look forward and live a good life.
From the age of 60, you have to plan everything for the rest of your life and get rid of the bad habits in your life.
With two generations getting along, contradictions are inevitable, but they can be reduced.
Finally, may all of us learn to be kind to each other.