Hello Mr. Xiong, I am deeply admired for your reply and psychological insights to Boyou. I have a question for you, which is how to deal with a person who loves another person deeply and wants to spend time with them, but that person has family responsibilities in mind?
The man was faced with a life of separation, his wife was in another city with their children, and he felt anxious. He needs a confidant to share his stress and suffering, but this confidant loves him deeply and doesn't want him to live an abnormal single life. At the same time, his wife has made it clear that she will not return to him.
Eventually, he decided to travel to that city to find his happiness. This decision meant that he needed to start everything from scratch, and this confidant, although he was a little disappointed in his heart, silently wished him happiness.
Do you think this is the right result?
For this result, we first need to clarify who it is relative to. If this result is relative to her who loves him, then this result will undoubtedly bring her deep melancholy, regret and sadness. She may constantly wonder if she is not doing well enough and if there is still a chance to change the outcome. This emotional pain and sense of loss may stay with her for a long time and may even affect her daily life and mental health.
However, if the result is relative to him, then the result may give him a variety of possibilities to think about. He may feel that he made the right choice because it is exactly what he desires in his heart. He may also feel some loss and regret, but that's only because he didn't get the results he wanted. In any case, this result at least makes him feel a sense of autonomy and responsibility, which may be positive for him.
From my point of view, there is no right or wrong outcome for whom. Each person's inner experience is unique, and we cannot judge other people's feelings by our own standards. For her, this result may make her feel pain and loss, but it is just her own feeling, and we cannot assume that this result is wrong. Again, for him, this result may make him feel satisfied and autonomous, but it is only his own feeling, and we cannot assume that this result is correct because of this. Therefore, we should respect everyone's inner experience and not judge their feelings lightly.