Introduction:
In ancient times, sons-in-law were often regarded as half sons and were valued by the family. However, there is one ritual that excludes sons-in-law, and that is the grave visit. Going to the grave is a sacrificial activity for deceased loved ones, accompanied by a series of customs and taboos. In this article, we will explain the important role of sons-in-law in ancient families and the reasons why sons-in-law were forbidden to participate in grave visits. What role did a son-in-law play in the ancient family? What are the customs and taboos of grave visits? Why can't a son-in-law participate in the grave visit?
1. The important role of sons-in-law in ancient families
The son-in-law is often seen as half a son and bears the responsibilities of the woman's family. His family background and financial situation had an important impact on his status. Families often consider family pairing and other criteria when choosing a son-in-law to ensure a happy and successful marriage. Methods such as martial arts competitions and recruiting relatives have also appeared in history, reflecting the strict requirements of the woman's family for the son-in-law.
In ancient times, the family was the basic unit of society, and the concept of family was very important. The son-in-law's status and family background directly affect his position in the marriage. If the son-in-law comes from a poor family or has a bad family background, he is often discriminated against by family members. Therefore, the woman's family usually conducts a strict selection when choosing a son-in-law to ensure that the son-in-law has sufficient social status and financial capacity to take on the responsibilities of the family.
In addition, sons-in-law also play an important role in passing on the lineage. In ancient times, clan culture was very prevalent, emphasizing the concept of having many children and grandchildren. The woman's family will want the son-in-law to go to the grave to continue the offspring and make up for the lack of the woman's inability to inherit the clan. Therefore, the son-in-law's position in the family is often seen as the key to family continuity.
In addition, the son-in-law also bears the responsibility of taking care of his parents-in-law. In ancient times, parents-in-law still needed to be taken care of and cared for after their daughters were married. A son-in-law not only needs to take care of his own parents, but also needs to care about the life and well-being of his parents-in-law. This sense of responsibility is also part of the son-in-law's position in the family.
2. Grave activities and their customs and taboos
Grave worship originated from sacrificial activities and became one of the remembrances of deceased loved ones. This activity includes a series of customs and taboos as a sign of respect and reverence for the ancestors.
Costume elements: During the grave visit, participants are required to wear modest clothing, usually white or gray, as a sign of mourning. It is also a sign of respect for the deceased loved ones.
Ritual sequence: The ritual of going to the grave is usually divided into several steps, including kowtowing, offering sacrifices, burning incense and worshipping. These steps need to be performed in a specific order to ensure that the ritual proceeds properly.
Tribute Types: During the grave ceremony, various foods and drinks are offered as sacrifices to show respect for the deceased relatives. These offerings usually include foods such as rice, chicken, duck, and fish, as well as drinks such as wine and tea.
Participant Requirements: Grave visits are usually only accessible to adult males, as this is considered an important family ritual that requires men to preside over and perform.
In addition, sick people, pregnant women, and children are usually not involved in going to the grave because the graveyard is heavily yin and can easily affect their bodies. These taboos and customs reflect the reverence for deceased loved ones, as well as the seriousness of the rituals.
3. The reason why the son-in-law cannot participate in the grave
Although the son-in-law was seen as a member of the woman's family in ancient times, his status changed after marriage. This is related to the ancient concept of male superiority and inferiority, and women usually take their husband's surname after marrying into the man's family, and lose their status in the woman's family. Therefore, the son-in-law is no longer considered a relative of the woman's family, but a member of the man's family.
This shift also reflects the patriarchal values of ancient family cultures. In ancient societies, men had a much higher status in the family and society than women, so sons-in-law were regarded as members of the man's family after marriage, rather than being relatives of the woman's family. This also meant that he could no longer participate in the rituals of the woman's family, including going to the grave.
In addition, the concept of having many children and many grandchildren is emphasized in the clan culture, and the woman's family will hope that the son-in-law will go to the grave to continue the offspring, making up for the lack of the woman's inability to inherit the clan. This is also one of the reasons why sons-in-law cannot participate in the grave. The son-in-law is no longer considered a member of the woman's family, and his responsibility is to continue the bloodline of the man's family.
Conclusion:
In ancient times, sons-in-law played an important role in the family and were regarded as half sons, with the responsibility of taking care of their parents-in-law and continuing the family lineage. However, the son-in-law was excluded from the grave visit because he was considered a member of the man's family after marriage and lost his status in the woman's family. This reflects the patriarchal concept of inferiority in ancient societies and the patriarchal family culture. Although verbal rules may be a superficial rule, they reflect the complex relationship between feudal etiquette and family culture. However, people who are truly close to each other, whether related by blood or not, are able to express their thoughts and love for their deceased loved ones. Tomb worship is a traditional ritual that carries respect and awe for the ancestors, and its role and significance in the ancient family are also worthy of our in-depth consideration. By understanding ancient families and cultures, we can better understand the way of life and values of the past, and we can also better reflect on the development and changes in contemporary society. Let us cherish the heritage of history, while also respecting and understanding the diversity of different cultures and traditions.