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Last night, when our family had dinner at home, I looked at my son at the dinner table and said to him earnestly: "Son, look at the little Wang who lives next door to us and is in the same class as you, he usually loves to study, his academic performance is good, and he doesn't like to play games, and he is very polite." ”
As a result, my son, who was eating on the side, didn't talk all the time! At the end, he said meaningfully: "Dad, what's the matter, you want me to fall in love with him?" I'm a man! ”
Last night, after running and pressing my legs, a boy came up to me and asked for my mobile phone number, which I refused.
When I got back, I immediately told my brother, "AhhhToday, several men asked me for my ** number, you can not always say that I can't get married, since I lost weight, someone has taken the initiative to talk to me. ”
Unexpectedly, my younger brother said: "Sister, why don't you exercise during the day, at night, the lights are blind, who can see your face." ”
I roared, ", get out of here, get out of here!" ”
My brother keeps making fun of me, and I'm really speechless!
I asked my girlfriend, "What do you think I look like?" Let's be honest! ”
She thought for a moment and replied, "Well, it's sunny." ”
Me: "I'll just say it! I'm not bad-looking! ”
Her: "It's just a little glaring! ”
The wife was coquettish to her husband: "Husband, you praise me." ”
The husband looked at his wife expressionlessly and didn't say a word.
The wife began to get a little angry and scolded: "What's the matter, when you were asked to boast before, you would still say a few perfunctory words, but now you don't even want to be perfunctory?" ”
My husband said lightly: "Whatever you think, I just don't think I'm worthy to talk to a fairy." ”
At that time, my wife used an invincible small hammer to beat my chest constantly, and kept Nan Nan saying to herself: "Dead ghost, you are so bad!" ”
Eh, what a meat!
My nephew is doing my homework, and my mother is tutoring on the side.
Grandma, what does it mean to be full of confidence? ”
My mom pointed at me and said, "That's what your aunt looked like before she went on a blind date." ”
What is a lost dog? ”
Your aunt's virtue when she came back on a blind date. ”
That's heartless. ”
Your aunt actually went on a blind date. ”
I ......I'm going to have everything to do with me, I'm messing with you?!
My brother: I don't know if the bear kid (my nephew) did his summer homework. Me: Absolutely not! My brother: How do you know? Me: I put a note on the second side of his summer vacation homework: I asked your uncle for 100 yuan with this note, which is valid until July 28.
My girlfriend is 90 pounds, I am 170 pounds, when I used to chase her, she was a standard lady, she spoke softly, walked in small broken steps, occasionally smiled shyly, and rode a bicycle without more than 10 miles, a standard soft girl. Now after getting married, I know that the black belt is nine dan, two buckets of water on the 6th floor in one breath, riding a motorcycle to 120, beating me is the same as beating a chick, alas, it's all tears!
When I was in high school, a couple of classmates sat at the first table at the door and the last table on the diagonal, and because the distance was too far, they turned the passing note into a throwing note. One day, the man threw a note "whoosh" over, and it happened that our teacher came in and hit the teacher directly. The teacher picked up the note and kicked the man fiercely, opened the note and said, "Let you pass it every day, this time I'll see what has been passed on!" Then he read it out: "Honey, you said that the two of us pass the note like this every day, and it would be fun if it hit the teacher one day." ”
When I went to the toilet and squatted in high school, the mobile phone accidentally fell into the poop, it was disgusting, I put three layers of plastic bags on my hands, and finally took out the mobile phone, but I didn't have time to wipe it, and when I pressed the power button, the mobile phone lit up. At this time, the head teacher suddenly rushed in, saw the mobile phone in my hand and snatched it over, the stickiness of his hand made the head teacher suddenly wake up, we looked at each other for a long time, only remember that night it was very windy, and the road to the hospital was particularly desolate.
I am a man, and my friends are also a man.
At night, I stood with him under the roadside street lamp and drank the same cup of milk tea, and suddenly my friend said, will others think that our relationship is abnormal, yes**! After speaking, he took the milk tea and took the initiative to walk away to extend the distance!
But after a while, he turned his head and said to meWill others think we're making trouble?
I really convinced him, and there was so much nonsense about drinking a cup of milk tea
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