During the winter break, children leave the confines of school and return to their homes to reunite with their parents. In the beginning, everyone may be immersed in a warm and joyful atmosphere. However, over time, there may be friction between parents and children over various trivial matters, especially in aspects such as study, homework, and living habits.
In February, the ** dynamic incentive plan "The Book of Rites: The Mean" said: "Everything is foreseen, and if it is not prepared, it will be wasted." ”
If you don't plan in advance and make good arrangements, it is very likely that one thing will not be done well, and another thing will catch up, and you will be in a hurry and make mistakes.
Therefore, parents can organize a family meeting, talk about what is going on at home at the end of the year, ask the children how to plan their vacations, whether there are any things they want to do, etc., everyone arranges time scientifically and reasonably, coordinates the winter vacation homework, Spring Festival matters, personal plans, etc., sets the tasks that should be completed at each stage, and guides and urges the children to be a person who "knows in mind and acts in a timely manner".
For example, before the Spring Festival, children can make their own arrangements, play happily for a few days, and then effectively complete their homework in various subjects, and take time to buy New Year's goods, clean up, write Spring Festival couplets, etc., with their parents to welcome the arrival of the New Year; When the Spring Festival comes, go from house to house to meet friends, completely immersed in joy and joy; A few days before the start of school, children complete the homework that has not yet been completed in each subject, and conduct appropriate review and preview for the start of school.
Physical activity is essential during the winter holidays and can be interspersed with each day. If you have family travel plans, it is good during the Spring Festival.
During the winter vacation, most parents work during the day and have no time to take care of their children, and they are worried that their children are playful, so they often seek to blame, but their children do not like to listen; Or parents and children face each other day and night, and after a long time, they may not be accustomed to some of their children's behaviors, and remind them several times, if the children do not change, parents can't help but be angry ......
These problems are generally not urgent, but they often accumulate and suddenly erupt at some point, and it is not uncommon for the parent-child relationship to "turn on the red light" as soon as the holiday arrives.
At this time, as a parent, the first thing to do is to do "two nos" - not irritable, not to blame, to be patient, to maintain emotional stability, this is the beginning of effective problem solving.
At the same time, choose a suitable opportunity, such as when the child is in a good mood, or when the family is happy, parents take the initiative to communicate with the child, "listen more and talk less" to the child, always maintain a state of listening, understand the child's thoughts and reasons, and stimulate the child's ability to recognize and solve problems.
Most of the time, children just lack self-control and action, and the truth is always understood, and they need our patience and carefulness; If we lose patience with our children and speak rudely to them because we are busy and impatient, this must be a disservice to each other.
The "Rosenthal Effect" tells us that good boys are boastful. The concept of "positive reinforcement" in psychology also reminds us that parents can enhance their children's self-confidence and self-esteem by giving them positive attention and affirmation, and improve their children's interest and learning effectiveness through appropriate rewards and encouragement. Moreover, the positive feedback of parents to their children has different weight in the minds of their children, and they especially want to be affirmed by their parents. Therefore, if we want our children to do things well, then we should not take them for granted, and parents should give positive feedback and positive reinforcement after their children have behaved positively. Whether it is in terms of completing homework or odd things during the Spring Festival, as long as the child does well, parents should not be stingy with verbal praise or even material rewards. At the same time, give a positive response to the questions raised by the child and the topics given in a timely manner, pay attention to observe, explore and praise the child's strengths, and let the advantages become positive energy for growth.
American psychologist John Powell divided "communication" into five levels: general talk, communication of stating facts, sharing personal opinions and judgments, sharing feelings and being completely open.
He believes that only at the level of sharing feelings can there be "trust, care, responsibility, and understanding", that is, there is a flow of love at this level; Finally, the peak experience of interpersonal communication, with each other's hearts and minds, is completely open, and it is an indescribable intimate experience.
Many parents will feel that when their children grow up, they will gradually not communicate with their parents much, let alone talk to their parents.
At this time, parents should think: When communicating with their children, is the topic only about learning? Is it all about scores? Or is it wearing less? Short of money? If there is no problem that really goes into the child's heart and pays attention to the child's emotional needs, we can call it "the ditch of general talk and statement of facts", and it is not even "sharing personal opinions and judgments", let alone reaching the level of "sharing feelings and being completely open".
So, what can parents and children communicate? If you have nothing to do, you can "brag" with your children, idle the "Dragon Gate Array", chat about national events, share your recent life and confusion, and jointly plan family arrangements, etc., to narrow the psychological distance between each other.
During the Spring Festival, parents tell their stories when they were young, listen to their children tell their stories at school, enjoy the New Year together, pay attention to their children's New Year's wishes, and strive to help them realize these New Year's wishes in the coming year.
These seemingly "useless" things are often "very useful" in promoting parent-child relationships.
Parents are their children's first teachers.
For children, the words and deeds of parents have a strong external demonstration and internal contagion. If his body is not right, although he does not obey the order", parents want their children to do it, first of all, they should do it unconditionally.
Parents and children live together during the holidays, parents should pay special attention to "teaching by word and deed", if they don't want their children to play games, parents should not leave their mobile phones all day long; If you don't want your child to procrastinate, parents should do things cleanly; If you don't want your child to complain about studying, parents shouldn't complain about work all the time; If you don't want your child to be irritable and blow up when you say it, parents should not have an argument ...... in front of their child
Parents will set an example for their children if they do everything first, and the educational effect will naturally be twice the result with half the effort. Parents and children should also abide by the rules of daily life, such as what time to eat, what time to go to bed, and what time to go home.
Companionship is the longest-term confession. "The winter vacation is not long, parents and children understand each other more, communicate more, don't let trivial matters take up time and grind emotions.