Why is it always the people closest to you who hurt you the most? A counselor will tell you the answer.
Xiaohongshu sisters, have you ever had such an experience: the closest person hurts you the most?
Your best friend speaks ill of you behind your back, your lover betrays you, your parents don't understand you, and even hurt your ......
Why is it always the people closest to you who hurt you the most? Today, the psychological counselor will tell you the answer.
Xiaomei and Xiaoli are good girlfriends who grew up together since childhood, and their relationship is very good. Xiaomei will tell Xiaoli about anything on her mind, and Xiaoli is always the first to comfort Xiaomei.
One day, Xiaomei and Xiaoli fell in love with a boy at the same time. The boy finally chose Xiaoli, Xiaomei was very sad, but she also blessed Xiaoli.
However, after Xiaoli and the boy were together, they began to alienate Xiaomei. Xiaomei called ** to her, but she didn't answer; sent WeChat to her, but she didn't reply; Even when she met Xiaomei on the street, she pretended not to see it.
Xiaomei was very sad, she couldn't figure out why Xiaoli would do this to her. She went to talk to a counselor.
The counselor told Xiaomei that the reason why Xiaoli was like this was because she was afraid of losing the boy. She was worried that Xiaomei would snatch the boys, so she chose to distance herself from Xiaomei.
The counselor also told Xiaomei that Xiaoli's behavior was actually an unhealthy defense mechanism. It not only hurt Xiaomei, but also Xiaoli herself.
If you are in a similar situation, a counsellor recommends that you:
1.Don't blame yourself: You didn't do anything wrong, and you don't need to be responsible for the actions of others.
2.Don't try to salvage the relationship: If the other person has distanced themselves from you, then the chances of you salvaging the relationship are slim. Instead of wasting time and energy, spend it on yourself.
3.Seek help from counseling: If the relationship is hurting you a lot, you can seek counselling for help. A counsellor can help you understand why you're hurting and teach you how to get through it.
It is very common for the people closest to you to hurt you the most. But let's not let that make us lose faith in intimacy. As long as we learn how to deal with conflict and hurt in intimate relationships, we can have healthy and happy intimacy.