There is a saying after the break: "Reach out in the bed and find out the details." ”
And he said, "Wiping away tears from the bed, and grieving alone." ”
No matter which way it is said, it is to warn us that before lovers become husband and wife, we must be cautious, don't wait until after marriage, the truth of the other party is revealed, and then we begin to regret and toss the marriage.
As a parent, you must understand the truth of "ginger is still old and spicy", think about what detours you have taken, and take the initiative to say it before your children get married or even find a partner.
It is more important to give children a good view of marriage than to reprimand them for finding the wrong partner and marrying wrongly.
Usually, before getting married, find out the following details to avoid yourself from suffering less losses, or even turn around and leave, and stop losses in time.
The other party's economy ** affects the future level of life.
No matter how tall the wedding is, it is all backed up by money.
No matter how good the relationship between husband and wife is, they can't hug every day, they can't be eaten as meals, and they have to spend money to buy three meals a day.
80% of a family's conflicts are caused by a lack of money. If you are poor and white for a long time, it is estimated that you will get divorced.
As a young person, don't feel that if you have money to spend at the moment, you will be happy, and think that you have found the right person. To figure it out, his money came from **.At the root, there are four kinds:Parents give, coolie money, wisdom into money, stolen money. The first situation, in college, is often encountered. Some little girls, because men are generous, like it very much. I thought I had met the rich second generation.
Looking ahead, after leaving the university, will the parents cut off the payment? If the parents cut off the supply, can everyone be sure to make a lot of money and continue to support the extravagant life?
Even if the parents continue to provide for it, there is a high probability that it will nourish the son of a loser. When my parents died, my family was in trouble.
In the second case, a person earns hard-earned money, which does not last long. After the age of fifty, it is difficult to sell coolies.
It's not that you can't work on the construction site, it's not that you can't support your family, it's that it's more difficult. It is difficult to achieve the ideal standard of living.
The third case is more reliable. As Mencius said"Those who work hard govern people, and those who work hard govern people." Those who govern eat people, and those who govern eat people, and the common meaning of the world is also. ”
The fourth situation is that it is illegal, and you should not touch it at all. Once someone spends the stolen money, it is a very bad character, and even a warning must be given in time.
Looking for a partner, it's not that you can't find a poor boy, but you have to find a poor boy with ideals and backbone, and don't look at the poor who are lying still.
People who have skills, read more, and can apply what they have learned will go further and make more money in the future.
We don't worship money, but we are not willing to worry about food and drink all our lives. Finding good financial resources is the best self-discipline when you are young.
The way the other parent's pension affects the quality of the child's marriage.
With the development of the times, the ways to support parents have become diverse. The lives of the elderly are also more abundant.
The old man's life can rely on savings, pensions, and one-third of an acre of land in his hometown. There are also some elderly people who rely on alimony from their children. Some elderly people, when they reach the age of 70, still have to earn money by doing odd jobs on their own.
After careful analysis, you will find that different pension methods have very different effects. If there is a difficulty in providing for the elderly, you have to trouble your children, which brings a burden to the family in disguise.
On Zhihu, someone asked: "How to get along with my parents-in-law, especially my parents-in-law in the countryside?" ”The person who asked the question described that the parents-in-law did not have much money, but doted on their daughter. Ask for money from your son and give it to your daughter.
The daughter is married and can't take care of herself.
What's more worrying is that my parents-in-law won't be able to work in the future, so who are they going to count on?
Obviously, as a daughter-in-law, I hope that my parents-in-law can think about it for a long time, and don't always put pressure on my son's head on the issue of providing for the elderly. If the parents-in-law always favor women over men, then don't blame the daughter-in-law for being polite.
Netizen "Zhou Yi" answered this question and gave an example of his own story. She kindly took her parents-in-law from the countryside and lived together.
But the various habits of the father-in-law and mother-in-law are disgusting, and they use some rural routines with the baby, which looks sloppy.
Tell your parents-in-law how to do it, but you can't change it. Therefore, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is enough commotion.
In the end, send the in-laws back to the countryside, and the family will be comfortable.
On the whole, the daughter-in-law is prejudiced against her in-laws who have bad habits and poor economic conditions. From the perspective of human nature, everyone hopes that their parents will live a rich life and reduce the difficulty of providing for their children. There are also people, with the continuous help of their in-laws, who have a relaxed life in middle age.
Usually, elderly parents who have a pension, a house, savings, are more popular in society. andTheir quality of life and culture is relatively high. If you are an elderly person in a rural area, you must also have savings, and plan to provide for the elderly from the age of forty or fifty.
But the old man who can get by, he is not far-sighted, and he turns filial piety into moral kidnapping, which is not very desirable.
The health of the other family member affects future generations.
Health is the greatest wealth in life, and when one person is sick, the whole family is uncomfortable.
On the "Modern Express" online platform, there is a heart-piercing example.
Xiao Zhang in rural Yangzhou, after she got married, she found that there was a strange thing in her big family, that is, the boy in the family basically lived for a short time. And one of Xiao Zhang's boys died when he was four years old.
After research, Hu Suwei, director of the Yangzhou Medical Genetics Center, found that there was a "self-destructive appearance syndrome" in Xiao Zhang's family, which had a lot to do with genes.
For the family to continue, it has to have children, and they must be healthy children. If necessary, do a premarital health check-up; It is necessary to know more about the health of our ancestors.
Think about it, people who are not in good health have to spend money at home, and they may also have to be taken care of by other family members, and the cost is very large; If because of physical reasons, the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, and the children and grandchildren are not prosperous, it is a pity.
Before getting married, everyone should talk frankly about health issues, eliminate misunderstandings, and increase the awareness of life and reduce tossing.
Lao Tzu said: "Difficult things in the world must be done easily; The big things in the world must be done in detail. ”Marriage is not child's play, it is a major event in life, and you must not be sloppy, let alone ignore some details.
Love is beautiful, but don't lose your mind because of it.
The romantic factor will slowly dissipate, the big stage of marriage will be dismantled, and the next thing will be a long stream of life.
Money, health, pension, filial piety, parenting, and work are all very important, and it is best to prepare in advance, and don't wait for the days to be painful before waking up painfully.
As parents, you should fulfill your obligation to remind your children not to struggle with the wrong marriage.
As children, they should take the initiative to communicate with their parents, listen to the elderly, and not suffer dumb losses.
Remember, a lover will eventually become a family, and a person with a heart will eventually become happy.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The picture in the article is ** on the Internet.