When people are old, it is a little bit more helpful to help their children's difficulties.
If you can't do big things, it's still feasible to help take care of the baby.
However, in the process of raising a baby, three generations of parents, children, grandchildren or grandchildren will get very close, and there are many trivial things.
How to deal with the relationship between three generations, the key is to manage your own mouth, silence is gold, and opening is silver.
Usually, the following words, the old man would rather rot in his stomach than open his mouth.
Don't "sue" the small mistakes of your grandchildren in front of your children.
Too many children keep making small mistakes and not making big mistakes, which makes the adults around them very headaches.
How to discipline so that children do not make mistakes? The more adults correct them, the more mistakes the child makes, and it seems that the effect is counterproductive.
Some elderly people hope to unite all the adults in the family to educate their grandchildren and curb their mistakes. As everyone knows, when the old man talks about his grandchildren's mistakes at home, it arouses the disgust of his grandchildren, thinking that adults cannot be trusted, and they also pick thorns.
A writer once said, "The essence of friendship is to forgive others for their small mistakes." ”It is true that the elderly and their grandchildren are together, in fact, the relationship between teachers and friends, and cannot be condescending.
You know, hiding some innocuous little mistakes is still a sign of respect for your grandchildren.
Since you are friends with your grandchildren, you should have the principle of friendship, and you should point out small mistakes at the time, rather than talking behind your back. The complaint is even more wrong, there is a suspicion of turning over old accounts.
Let's say the child goes to the country, plays in the mud and gets his clothes wet. Just replace it in time, and when you get back to the city, don't talk about it. Treat the past as a kind of childlike fun.
Grandchildren spend a small amount of money, don't nag in front of your children.
When you take your grandchildren and grandchildren out to play and go shopping, you will inevitably spend a little money.
Small toys and snacks cost money.
When grandchildren spend money, most of the elderly will feel distressed, especially those who do not have a pension.
However, if the elderly nag about spending money in front of their children, they will leave a bad impression in the hearts of their children: they are stingy, calculating, and treat their children lightly.
To deal with the problem of spending small money on a daily basis, the elderly should discuss with their children in advance how much to give in a month, and they can't talk about it every day to please them; For the elderly who have a pension or a lot of savings, it doesn't matter if their children don't give pocket money.
The love of the next generation also costs money, and it is regarded as a disguised subsidy for the small family of children.
Spend money, know what you know, don't nag. When the children ask, it is best to "write it off" and not take it seriously.
The fight between grandchildren and playmates is protected everywhere.
The Ming Dynasty thinker Lu Kun said: "Self-cultivation is the first step in not protecting shortcomings." If people can not protect their shortcomings, they will grow up. ”If you don't protect your shortcomings and deal with problems with a fair attitude, you will slowly make progress from the tedious life, struggles, and small mistakes.
Too many old people regard their grandchildren as their heart, put them in their hands for fear of flying away, and put them in their mouths for fear of melting, and anyone who touches their grandchildren will be regarded as malicious attacks.
No matter what the situation, there is nothing wrong with standing up and protecting your grandchildren as soon as possible. But it would be wrong to think that the words and deeds of the grandchildren are correct.
It is inevitable to take your grandchildren out to play, or to wander around the neighborhood and play with other children.
The child is making a fuss for a while, right and wrong, which is indescribable. Even if a child cries, I don't know why.
Children who have been wronged and crying will definitely find adults to "reason". But can the child's word be believed? Not necessarily.
Wise old people, grandchildren frolicking excessively, resulting in physical conflicts, etc., will be treated fairly and take due responsibility; Some innocuous frolic, then laugh it off and don't evaluate.
Instead of protecting shortcomings, we use social and social rules to discipline our grandchildren, and we also cultivate our grandchildren's sense of rules and responsibility.
Don't tell the ugly things about your children's family to the people in the community.
In the process of bringing grandchildren, the elderly will be exposed to many things of their children, including work, social interaction, daily habits, etc.
Although the old man loves his children, there are still many problems, which are not used to it, after all, the three views of the two generations are different, and the life experience is even more different.
The most terrible thing is that when the old man finds out about his children's ugly things, he is embarrassed to discuss them at home, so he mysteriously tells other old people in the community, so that everyone can come up with an idea and comment on it.
Communities and rural villages, there are similar places, but the situation is more complicated. All kinds of people gather in a community, and it is really ill-intentioned.
If you tell the ugly things about your children, you will inevitably spread them into many versions and return to the ears of your children. It even caused the children to go out, and outsiders pointed at them.
The ugliness of the family cannot be publicized, and the old man must remember this truth for a lifetime. If you talk to outsiders and say things that are innocuous to you, you can't dig out your heart and lungs.
For example, if a child is divorced, it should be reconciled at home, rather than asking outsiders to help preach. As soon as outsiders mix, the situation is even worse, and right and wrong are constant.
Don't show off your children's financial situation in front of relatives and friends.
Many elderly people have lived in their children's homes for a period of time and have figured out the details of their children. Then he returned to his hometown and told his relatives and friends that his children were in the city and how they were doing.
Some relatives and friends, following the old man's words, went to the city to find the old man's children, needed to borrow money, help find a job, etc.
If the children can't help, relatives and friends will sneer at the family, saying how stingy and unkind the family is.
If they help, their children do not have three heads and six arms, and they cannot support a large group of people. I helped the east, but I couldn't help the west.
Children should make a lot of money in silence, and old people should get used to not revealing their wealth. As long as everyone in the family is rich and the elderly can have no worries about food and clothing, it is fine, and it is not necessary for outsiders to "praise it".
We always think that the people who attract right and wrong are outsiders, but in fact, they are not, most of them are our own people.
There is a proverb that says, "The parrot has a thrush on its tongue and a thrush, and it hides a harmful ghost in its heart." ”When the elderly help to take care of their grandchildren, they should maintain their enthusiasm for the family and be indifferent to outsiders. No matter what happens, use your brain first, then speak, and don't rush to express it.
Being a cultivated old man is more popular in his children's homes.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The picture in the article is ** on the Internet.