In order to make their children's lives better, many elderly people choose to help their children.
There are also some elderly people who have to take their children under pressure from their children. After all, the child asked for help from himself, and he was embarrassed to refuse.
In the process of bringing the baby, what the child wants to eat, what to wear, what to play on the playground, what the child's family wants to add, the old man pays for it himself, and does not care too much.
Invisibly, in the process of taking care of children, the elderly consumed mental and physical strength, and also spent their pensions and savings.
As time goes by, the baby grows up and wants to read a book, and I don't want the adults to stare all the time, which means that the process of the elderly taking the baby is over.
After that, the old man had no money in his hands, and he had an emergency. Are children really willing to pay "alimony"?The answer is "not necessarily".
As an old man, no matter how much you love your children and grandchildren, you must maintain an awareness that money is the foundation of old people and do not spend it at will.
The living expenses of small families with children and elderly people are not subsidized arbitrarily.
In many small families, once there is an elderly person to help take care of the baby, it is natural for the elderly to go to buy food and rice.
Don't look at the daily living expenses, it's just dozens or hundreds of blocks. At the end of the year, this is not a small amount.
The average family consumes 3,000 a month, and 30,000 or 40,000 a year.
In the beginning, the children would give money to the elderly to go to the market. But occasionally he would say, "Mom, I didn't withdraw the money today, you just want to sit still." ”
It's okay to pay in advance, but the child will forget to pay it back.
Sometimes, the child does not give enough living expenses to the elderly, so the old man quietly sticks it.
For some retired seniors, the couple's pension, a total of five or six thousand, can fully cover the living expenses of their children's small families. The kids were also delighted.
What's even more terrifying is that because there are elderly people who are responsible for living expenses, some daughters-in-law simply don't go to work and play mahjong in the community all day long. The daughter-in-law doesn't care about the children, so she still throws it to the elderly.
The constant abuse eventually spoiled the children. Gradually cultivate bad habits in the family. When the children of this generation do not go to work, the rhythm of gnawing old begins.
The grandchildren buy big things, the money for school, and the old people don't worry.
Spending time with your grandchildren every day, eating a piece of candy and buying a small toy is unavoidable. The elderly should not be too stingy and care about everything with their grandchildren.
According to the views of other generations, the elderly will love their grandchildren, thinking that they have not managed their children well, and all the feelings owed to the grandchildren will go to the grandchildren.
It turns out that it's okay to give small money to grandchildren, but be cautious about giving big money.
My second aunt went to the provincial capital to help her son take care of her children.
She has no pension, and she has to rely on her second uncle to earn her daily living expenses.
The second uncle is almost sixty years old, works as a janitor in a factory, and does not earn much.
Since the two aunts helped to bring the baby, the baby's milk powder has a lot of money, and she almost signed a contract. After careful calculation, more than 1,000 a month and nearly 20,000 a year.
The second uncle gave his salary to his second aunt every month, and at the end of the year, he found that there was no deposit and was very angry. The old couple contradicted each other, and it also came.
The baby's money to buy milk powder, buy brand-name clothes, go to kindergarten, go to cram school, a series of expenses, are not very much. If an old man has to face this, it is very difficult.
In addition, the baby's daily expenses, which are the child's business, the elderly cannot intervene on their behalf.
Many times, the elderly help the child deal with the baby's problems, and the child will be disgusted and really thankless.
Two old people, supporting the growth of three generations, are mostly unbearable. Even if the money is enough, it comes at the cost of "erasing the back road of life".
The elderly should not bear the money for children to buy houses, cars, and travel.
As the saying goes, "Brother, settle the bill." ”
Between brothers and sisters, it is necessary to count the matter of money, otherwise there will be conflicts.
From the perspective of families with many children, the money in the hands of the elderly will slowly become the money of the big family, and the children will stare at it.
When the old man helps with the child, the money is transferred to the child's small family, and the other children must have complaints.
When it comes to spending a lot of money, kids know it.
We can imagine that in a few years, the old man will no longer be able to walk, and he wants his children to support him. But the old man gave the money to one of his children. The problem of support turned into a big one.
Ask yourself, in a family with many children, the old man posted this one child, so does the other child agree?The answer is no.
Buying a house is a big deal, hundreds of thousands, millions, and hundreds of thousands for the elderly, which is not enough. Older people may not be able to afford it. If seniors are also burdened with mortgages, they will continue to experience the stress of life.
Cars are consumables. When you buy them, they lose their value. The old man helped buy a car, and there is no doubt that the money was thrown out slowly and had no value.
Traveling, when the family economy is not very good, is a luxury. When an old man lets his children go for a ride, he is undoubtedly encouraging extravagance and waste.
Comprehensive analysis, as long as the elderly have their own house to live in, they do not consider buying a house, helping their children buy a car, etc., which is redundant. Children and grandchildren, their own children and grandchildren, this truth needs to be understood.
Before taking care of children, the elderly should learn to make rules.
A family, no rules.
There's nothing wrong with discussing the rules before helping with childcare.
Don't wait for years to take your child, be rejected by your child, empty your wallet, and talk about the rules. Too late. What you lose, you can't get back.
The first is to agree on the rules of daily expenses, the living expenses should be given to the children, and the elderly can help cook and take care of the baby, which is enough.
Secondly, the savings and pensions of the elderly should be accounted for with all their children, so that the children's generation does not care about each other.
Third, in the process of raising children, what belongs to the elderly and what belongs to the children, it should be said that there is a general meaning, the elderly do not need to do everything.
Ugly words are in front, although ugly, but there will be a lot less trouble in the future.
The elderly, who earn their own money, have more confidence than their children to pay alimony.
Please also ask the young people to be more considerate and not to count everything on the elderly.