"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" says: "When you clench your hands, there is nothing in them; When you open your hands, the world is in your hands. ”
The sand that is held tighter always leaks faster; The obsession of grasping too tightly will only make people more painful.
Open your hands and know how to let go, you can find a breakthrough in life.
In life, there are always people who are obsessed with some things and some people, and fall into the abyss of pain and find it difficult to extricate themselves.
If you are entangled in the obsession that you can't let go of in your heart, you might as well read Yu Hua's "Wencheng".
* It tells the story of Lin Xiangfu, a wealthy young master in the north, who went south to find his wife in the turbulent years of the late Qing Dynasty and the early Republic of China.
Lin Xiangfu and Ji Xiaomei, a woman from the south, met and fell in love, but after Xiaomei gave birth to her daughter, she said goodbye. Lin Xiangfu carried his infant daughter on his back to find Xiaomei's hometown "Wencheng", and experienced hardships and human suffering. Not only did he not find his wife, but he was brutally killed by bandits, the story mainly takes place between Lin Xiangfu, Ji Xiaomei or Shen Aqiang, all three of them are trapped in their lives because of their attachment to one thought.
Let go of obsession to embrace new lifeLin Xiangfu is a man with the humility of a weeping willow and the taciturn of a field.
He was born in a family of cultivators, his father was the only talent in the township, and his mother was the daughter of a lifter, with a good family education. Sitting on more than 400 acres of fertile land, six houses, and more than 100 books and loyal servants - the five brothers of the Tian family, it can be said that the family is rich.
Lin Xiangfu lost his father at an early age, and under the company and education of his mother, he read poetry and books, was diligent and thrifty, treated people modestly, and practiced a good carpentry skill.
But the marriage did not go well, he kissed many times, but there was no agreeable object, until his mother died, and he was not settled.
When Lin Xiangfu was 24 years old, things took a turn for the better.
One night, a pair of "brother and sister" went north to join their relatives, because the wheel was broken, they came to spend the night, and the kind-hearted Lin Xiangfu took them in, and they talked happily.
Who would have thought that when parting the next day, her sister Xiaomei suddenly fell ill, and her brother actually left her at the Lin family to recuperate, saying that he would pick her up later.
Xiaomei is beautiful and dexterous, and in the days they get along, they gradually develop feelings for each other and form a relationship.
But Lin Xiangfu didn't know that what he thought was a god-given fate actually stemmed from Xiaomei and Ah Qiang's careful calculations.
A month after marriage, Xiaomei ran away from home and took away almost half of his family wealth, Lin Xiangfu regretted it, but he couldn't let go of Xiaomei and looked forward to her return.
Xiaomei came back and said that she was pregnant with Lin Xiangfu's flesh and blood. also said that he would never leave again, Lin Xiangfu accepted her with the generosity of the field, and held a grand wedding, just when Lin Xiangfu was full of expectations for a happy life, his daughter was full moon, and Xiaomei evaporated from this world and disappeared.
Lin Xiangfu sold his land, crossed the Yellow River with his infant daughter, and went all the way south to find his wife Xiaomei, and embarked on the road of no return to find "Wencheng".
Lin Xiangfu worked hard and endured hardships, but finally did not find Wencheng, and finally settled in Xizhen, which is similar to "Wencheng", waiting for Xiaomei to appear. He believes that Xiaomei will return to Creek Town one day.
His whole life is only to love one person and find a city.
Psychologists say: "90% of the unhappiness in life is caused by unwillingness."
Because of his unwillingness, "Wencheng" is an endless wandering and search for Lin Xiangfu.
As the saying goes: "There are times in life when you have to have it, and there are times in life when you don't force it." ”
Those who are destined to miss, don't chase them.
Just imagine, if Lin Xiangfu really finds a girl from a well-behaved family to start a new life after Xiaomei leaves, he should be very happy.
Some people are just passers-by in our lives, although they also leave a good mark. Since you have missed it, face it calmly and don't cling to the past. Letting go is perhaps a wiser option.
Let go of the obsession in your heart, and you can start a new life and embrace a new life.
Let go of love debts to live in peaceXiaomei, a child of a poor family in Dangxili Village, entered the Shen family in Xi Town as a child daughter-in-law when she was ten years old.
Xiaomei is clean and delicate, and her mind is active, but the Shen family is a feudal family with strict family rules, and her mother-in-law is harsh on her.
One month after Xiaomei entered the Shen family, she began to learn the art of weaving, she was ingenious, and she only studied the craft for two months to surpass Ah Qiang, who had studied for two years.
One day, because Xiaomei was stealing new clothes, she was caught by her mother-in-law, and she was severely punished, and she was almost taken home.
Xiaomei, who escaped the catastrophe, suppressed her nature and emotions, and was careful in everything. The mother-in-law shaped Xiaomei into a clean and tidy appearance according to her own ideals.
In the past six years, Xiaomei has lost herself in the Shen family and is used to being at the mercy of others.
One day three years later, Xiaomei was at home guarding the shop. The younger brother found the door because he lost the money from selling the pig, and Xiaomei took out the copper money from the counter and gave it to the younger brother out of pity.
This time's "audacity" made Xiaomei fall into a place of no return, and she was divorced by her mother-in-law.
Xiaomei returned to Xili Village, endured the humiliation, and never raised her head again.
Ah Qiang couldn't let go of Xiaomei, so he stole the family's money and left Xizhen with Xiaomei. They spent the most free and happy time of their lives in Shendian and Shanghai, and they had nothing left of silver.
They decided to go to the capital to find their uncle for help, and they longed for a better life and embarked on the road to the north.
But the more they went, the more uncertain the future became, for they did not know the name and address of their uncle, but had only heard of it from their mother.
Halfway through, because the wheels of the carriage were broken, they stayed at Lin Xiangfu's house overnight, so Xiaomei was designed to stay.
Xiaomei and Lin Xiangfu are in love with each other, they live together, and what brings Xiaomei is stability and peace of mind. They have a daughter, a family of three, and live happily.
But Xiaomei couldn't let go of her husband Ah Qiang, this man never gave up in his most difficult moment and took her out of the abyss.
In the end, she betrayed Lin Xiangfu and left her daughter, suffering for the rest of her life.
Because Xiaomei couldn't let go of her love debts, she wandered painfully between Lin Xiangfu and Ah Qiang, and she couldn't be at peace in her life.
Writer Bai Luomei once said: "If people's feelings can be retracted and released freely, opening when they say they are open, and ending when they say they are over, there is no lingering or entanglement, how good it would be!" ”
Emotionally, when the judgment is constant, the dilemma, and the entanglement eventually make the parties miserable, and eventually lead to tragedy.
Let go of the love debt in your heart, don't dwell on the past, cherish everything you have in front of you, and life will be relieved and peaceful.
Let go of greed before you can break the shacklesAh Qiang is the only son of the Shen family, because of his mother's strength, he is cowardly by nature, has no opinions, and always has an absent-minded look.
But she fell in love with Xiaomei at first sight, never spoke rudely, and never abused her.
They can be said to be childhood sweethearts, and they have established a tacit understanding between husband and wife early. At the age of sixteen, a simple wedding was held, and they were officially married, and life was peaceful and uneventful.
Xiaomei helps her younger brother, which is considered a theft by her mother-in-law. At the time of writing the letter of resignation, Cuong showed a sober demeanor: he thought that Xiaomei's helping his brother was not a theft. And uttered a stubborn sentence: "He is my person, and it should be up to me to decide." ”
Originally, she just wanted to punish Xiaomei's mother-in-law, but under the opposition of her husband and Ah Qiang, she divorced Xiaomei with an iron heart.
Three months later, the cowardly and absent-minded Ah Qiang did a "big rebellion": took Xiaomei out of Xili Village.
With little money left, they ended a time of freedom and happiness.
Although Xiaomei saw that the days to come were wandering, eating and sleeping in the open, she felt that she had the skills, as long as the two of them did not give up, they could also rely on each other.
But Cuong wanted to go to his uncle's husband in Beijing, so he embarked on the road north.
In despair, they met Lin Xiangfu and began to calculate Lin Xiangfu: claiming that they were brother and sister. And on the grounds that Xiaomei was sick, she stayed at the Lin family temporarily.
Ah Qiang told Lin Xiangfu that he would come to pick up Xiaomei when he found relatives, but secretly made an appointment with Xiaomei and waited for Xiaomei at the Dingchuan car shop.
This stay is half a year, Lin Xiangfu really paid to Xiaomei, but Xiaomei stole the gold bars, left her daughter, and returned to her hometown in Xizhen with Ah Qiang. At this time, the mother-in-law had already died; Soon, my father-in-law was also bedridden and passed away suddenly.
Ah Qiang and Xiaomei sank into the past, unable to operate a weaving shop, closed their doors, and lived in a simple house. Ah Qiang regained his absent-minded expression, and when he heard that Lin Xiangfu was coming, he panicked, feeling that a catastrophe was coming, and it was impossible to escape.
Creek Town was hit by a blizzard, and they went to the City God's Pavilion to worship the sky, and at the same time repented and atoned for their sins, and froze to death in the blizzard with anxiety and guilt.
Human desire is like a sharp sword, stabbing others and stabbing oneself at the same time.
Ah Qiang and Xiaomei, young and skilled, could have lived a good life with their skills. But because of his greed, he calculated others, and he also calculated himself, and put heavy shackles on him.
Greed for a while, and finally lose comfort.
Tao Te Ching says: "There is no greater sin than desire, no greater misfortune than discontent, and no greater blame than desire." ”
Let go of the greed in your heart, behave and do things worthy of your conscience, and you can live a free and sunny life.
A writer once said this:
I'm not going to grab on to anything I have! Because I know that when I hold on to something, I lose it. The only way to have anything is to learn to look down and learn to let go. ”
clinging to one thought, trapped in a lifetime; Let go of the thought and walk freely.
Not all sincerity will be cherished, and when the love is exhausted, don't be obsessed;
Not all fate can have a beginning and an end, and if fate is scattered, don't carry the past;
Not all desires can be satisfied, and if you are greedy, you will draw yourself as a prison.
There are thousands of scenery in the world, look down on the past, keep the present, and look to the future, everyone will find a breakthrough in life.