My husband recently proposed a new model of family operation, and he said that we should introduce a system in which we should share equally in the division of household chores and living expenses.
However, things didn't go as smoothly as I thought they would. My husband seemed to have stirred up a deep dissatisfaction in me, and I began to perfunctory in my housework, sometimes even pretending to be deaf and dumb.
Instead, I put the blame on him, believing that it was all because of his proposal.
Our conflict seemed to be getting deeper, and I began to wonder if this model could really bring equality to the family, and even began to think that if I didn't have children, I wouldn't have to worry about the cost of living and education in the future.
After going through this, my heart became overwhelmed and I needed to make changes and decisions.
One day, we had a heated argument over this. "We didn't have this lifestyle in mind when we got married, I don't know if this change will make our lives better, and it will take me time to get used to it," I said.
But if it makes you unhappy, we can find another solution.
His words surprised me, I didn't expect him to say that, I looked at him, his eyes were full of concern, and I suddenly felt a little reckless.
Although we still have a lot of difficulties to face, at least we have found a way to solve the problem.
I am full of confidence in the future and hope that we can overcome difficulties and welcome a better life.
Although we reached some consensus on the division of household chores and household expenses, new contradictions soon reappeared.
But whenever this topic is mentioned, there are arguments between us. I thought we could save money to achieve this dream by working on our own, but my husband insisted that the travel expenses should be split equally.
Do you really think I have that much money on hand right now? "I asked him with some anger that I wasn't shirking my responsibility, but I felt that this dream was shared by us, so why did I have to bear most of the costs?
I also know your situation, it's not that you don't want to spend money, it's just that you've always advocated equality, and I think it's a kind of financial equality.
Our argument didn't work out, but it made me rethink the way we communicate with each other.
Maybe I'm still too emotional, and that complicates our problem.
For the next few days, we all fell silent, and I began to wonder if I should be as direct as I had before.
I decided to take the initiative to sit down with my husband and have a good talk.
I think we should find a more effective way to communicate. I said to my husband cautiously. We decided to find a time each week to sit down and talk about the division of household chores and household expenses.
This time, we're going harder to reinvent our families and make our lives better.
Our marriage gradually stabilized, I began to devote myself to family life, and we gradually found a way to live in balance and harmony.
But at this time, something unexpected happened to me. The other day, my husband offered to take me on a trip to a faraway place, and he said it was a romantic getaway he had planned for a long time.
For me, I've never put my money, time and effort away to enjoy a trip, and I always feel like it's not the right thing to do between us.
This incident made me question whether we really got along with each other anymore.
I don't know if it's the travel or the system itself that annoys me, or if I'm ambivalent about whether or not marriage is moving towards equality.
I felt like I needed to have a good talk with him again, talk about my thoughts and feelings, and see if we could still go on together, and if we could find a solution that would work better for both of us this time.
My husband and I started to be more proactive in housework, and after a period of friction and adjustment, we seemed to slowly find a relatively harmonious balance.
However, new problems have reappeared. One night, while my husband and I were sitting on the couch watching TV, he suddenly said, "Honey, my chances of promotion in the company are getting bigger and bigger, and I think we should start thinking about whether to have children in the future."
I was a little overwhelmed, but I tried to express my thoughts: "I don't think we're ready, and I have a lot of work and career to do."
I tried to explain: "I want to have children too, but right now I don't feel ready, and I want to have more time to pursue the life I want."
The husband didn't say anything, but there was a hint of disappointment and grievance in his eyes. It became a new problem between us, and we began to get into an argument again.
We finally decided to separate for a while and think about it calmly, and I believe that as long as we are honest with each other and respect each other, we will always find a compromise solution that works for us.
After another period of time, the conflict we had gradually faded away, and the atmosphere at home gradually became harmonious.
I'm even starting to think about having children.
However, just as I was adjusting my mindset and getting ready for a new life, something happened that caught me off guard.
It turned out that one of my husband's close relatives had fallen ill and needed to be taken care of. My husband had to go back to his hometown for a while, and I couldn't go with him because of work.
We had a disagreement. My husband thinks I should take a leave of absence to accompany him back to his hometown, but I don't think I can take a leave of absence easily.
The root of this conflict is no longer the system between us, but the understanding of responsibility and family affection. I realized that my mentality was not fully adjusted, and the family affection at this time was testing our marriage.
My quarrel with my husband did not stop and even became more intense. My husband didn't think I understood him well enough, and I felt he was being too tough on me.
We try to resolve our conflicts in a more equal and respectful way. But even as we try to change the way families operate, new disputes follow.
You know that the environment at home is really important, but you are not always proactive enough to take care of the home and the environment.
I know, and I'll do my best. But please also give me more positive affirmation and recognition, after all, I am also working hard.
The conflict between us is no longer limited to the division of household chores, but lies in understanding and supporting each other's efforts. At this time, I suddenly felt that we were drifting away from each other.
I longed to find balance in the relationship, but I was deeply torn about what was right.
This is a conflict in a marriage, on the one hand, I crave more understanding and support, but on the other hand, I am also afraid that we may not be able to conspire with each other, and we may be further and further apart.
Slowly, I began to understand that there is no silver bullet solution in life. In marriage, everyone needs to learn to compromise and tolerate.