The reason why a couple can become husband and wife is not a simple accident, but a kind of fate. When you are attracted to each other and decide to join hands, fate binds you together. But whether this fate can continue to the end depends on getting along in the future. After all, it's easy to fall in love, but it's hard to get along.
In Yang Jiang's memory, her parents have always been friendly. They get along more like old friends and talk about everything. And this intimate feeling also made the two go together for a long time. In Yang Jiang's view, her father has always respected and loved her mother, and her mother fully understands and supports her father's maverick behavior. In the era when feudal superstition still existed, this kind of relationship of equal treatment of husband and wife was rare, and it was this integration of the three views of mutual tolerance and mutual respect that allowed their marriage to continue happily.
A happy marriage is built on a relatively stable material basis, but more important than material things is the relationship between two people. Do you know how important the three views are in marriage? It can directly determine the direction and future of the marriage. Whether a couple can grow old together is actually doomed from the moment they get married, especially the three views between husband and wife, which have begun to be highlighted when they get married. Many men and women do not have enough understanding before marriage, and eventually various conflicts in marriage arise because of the three views of husband and wife. Just like in "East and West Question", Shu Fen and Xu Bochang's former Shu Fen's capable family is a good candidate for a wife. But when Xu Bochang came into contact with knowledge and culture, she and Shu Fen in the factory saw different scenery and took different paths. Shu Fen couldn't understand Xu Bochang's heart, and Xu Bochang was even more reluctant to understand Shu Fen's world. It is precisely because of the formation of different views and ways of looking at people and things that the distance between two people gradually becomes farther away. People with different views are destined to be different, so the three views of two people have been formed before marriage. Whether these three views are consistent or not often determines how the future of two people's marriage will move forward, whether it is icing on the cake or adding to the worse.
Love is simple, getting along is difficult, two people will be different together, this is the true meaning of marriage. Being around someone who disagrees can really drain all your patience. Writer Sanmao once said: "If you don't dress, eat, sleep, or count money, love won't last long." ”
We saw a couple arguing on the street about whether or not to buy a $30 bouquet of flowers. It may be vulgar to talk about money, but you can't deny that in today's society, a relationship that doesn't talk about money is really hard. Maybe your ** meal is enough to make the other party rich for a long time, maybe you spend a lot of money to buy a piece of clothing that is not worth mentioning in the eyes of the other party. Love itself is linked to material things, and even if you get married, you will still find it difficult to move forward even if you get married, because you will find that even if it is a simple birthday, you will quarrel over how expensive to buy a birthday cake.
Therefore, two people with different consumption concepts may not be the same person in the first place. Marriage is a highly intimate relationship, so to have a happy marriage, both parties need to remain faithful to this intimacy and never betray it. If you can't be faithful to each other, then your marriage won't be happy or even last. Loyalty is always the bottom line of a marriage, and once betrayed, the marriage is no longer good, because extramarital affairs always lead to bruises, and it is so unstable. What's even more terrifying is that couples divorce because of cheating, and more couples endure the pain of being betrayed by love.
A happy marriage, in the final analysis, is single-minded. After a marriage has been betrayed, the so-called restoration is often only a temporary state. Therefore, whether two people can live a lifetime, in addition to tolerating and appreciating each other, the most important thing is to be loyal to each other.
Marriage is integrated into one's life path as a part of life. We often say that three years old is big, seven years old is old, in fact, a person's personality largely determines what kind of person you are, and also determines your future life path. Marriage is a part of life, whether a person's marriage is happy or not, and whether they can grow old together is actually largely affected by the personalities of both parties. If a person is tired of being old no matter what he does, or three minutes of heat, lacks perseverance, or is always good at compromising and evading responsibility, then he must be the same for marriage, then he is not destined to have a happy white-headed marriage.
So from the moment we get married, marriage is doomed. The family of origin has a huge impact on the individual itself, affecting the shaping of our character and also affecting our future. What kind of people we will choose, the influence of parents on children in innate education is crucial. The emotional relationship between parents also affects children's emotional cognition and choices in the future. Some parents divorce their children when they are very young, so when they grow up, they are more eager to have a person who accommodates them, they are insecure and afraid of being bullied, so they will pretend to be mean. At this time, the object he needs must be someone who can give his parents the greatest support and love in terms of personality.
The family of origin affects the relationship between husband and wife, and also affects the individual's attitude towards marriage, and is destined to determine whether two people can really go together for a lifetime. All feelings in the hot love period will be very sweet, but once the hot love period, after entering the run-in period, the conflicts and contradictions between each other gradually increase, this is a stage that all couples must have, to see if the two people can last a long time, to see if the two people can run well.
So whether a relationship lasts only depends on how two people deal with quarrels and conflicts. Whether a couple can turn white depends on how one party solves the problem after the two parties have quarreled.
In fact, quarrels in life are just some trivial things, which cannot be avoided, and if everyone holds it in their hearts and no one says anything, then it will only turn into a cold war after a long time. There is nothing about husband and wife quarreling, what matters is whether one party knows a little compromise and goodwill after the quarrel, and is willing to take a step back for the other party, isn't this a true portrayal of a happy marriage?
Husbands and wives are not without problems for a lifetime, and it is not terrible to have problems, but what is terrible is that couples do not know how to solve them. The little dissatisfied old sesame rotten grains all came out and said that they blamed each other frantically, but not only did the problem not be solved, but pushed the other party away. The so-called "taking into account the overall situation" is to encounter problems and solve them directly, and the problem is not in people, it is the attitude of solving problems. And the kind of relationship between couples who are never easy to talk about and who open their hearts is complaining will only become more and more full of disgust and complaints, how can the marriage last?
American psychologists have found that you can tell if a couple is compatible by observing how they communicate. If a couple, their chats are always carried out in a way that hates or antagonizes each other, over time, the relationship will collapse sooner or later.
Communication is the foundation of love, and if two people simply don't know how to communicate, or if it is difficult to reach each other verbally, then two people cannot reach each other emotionally. If there is a barrier between the mediums of emotional communication, it is natural that two people cannot really grow old.
Sometimes couples who are too idealistic and think that love can solve everything are difficult to last, because no matter how good a marriage is, there is not so much "loving water to drink". Marriages won't last long if they don't involve small, tangible things like eating, dressing, and sleeping.
Whether a couple can grow old together depends not only on the fate before marriage, but also on the details of how to get along after marriage. Communication and listening, respect and inclusion, shared goals and cooperation, mutual care and support are key elements of a relationship. If couples do well in these areas, they are more likely to live happily together and grow old together. However, every couple's situation is different, and they need to be flexible with these details according to their actual situation and needs to build a strong and happy marriage together.
The road of life is very long, two people are together, bumps and bumps are inevitable, but real couples will grow old, no matter what kind of storms they encounter on the road of life, they will be for each other, no matter what kind of setbacks and setbacks they encounter, they will never give up.