Introduction: China Education News Family Education WeeklyReleasedReport on the National Survey on Family EducationDisplay, forParent-child communicationaspects,More than 40%.ofThe child thinks that the time that parents devote to heart-to-heart talks needs to be increasedthemselvesUnable to communicate with parents。WhileMore than 6325%of children saidThere are communication problems with parents, with a certain amount of information for parentsAntipathy
You guysCan you leave me aloneup, meI hate you guysAh", listen12 years oldofDaughterYunyunHoarsenesslandRoarFull of displeasureThe lookXiaoyuan and her husband were at a loss。Originally, it was also becauseThe teacher reported that the child was distracted in classand so on, thinkGet a good educationOnce again, it was unpleasant
In fact, in Xiaoyuan's words: "BeforeMy husband and I are busy running the **DaughterBothFollow the grandparentsNow the store is not so busyup, usFinally had time to educate her wellFinish. "And yet, right thereThe couple began to take turns accompanying their daughter to do her homework every daySend her to cram schoolAfter that,each otherPoopFrom time to time, quarrels broke out
As Xiaoyuan discoveredMy daughter is often in a daze and procrastinating when she does her homeworkPoopDirect reprimand:"How are youDevelop this bad study habitTeacherAlsoReflect that you are not concentrating in class, what the hell are you inThinking about something？"And YunyunImpatient rebuttal"MeJust finish the homework at the endup, youCan you not nagBefore you guysNot eitherNone of thatIs it? ”
And DadPersonally pick her up and drop her off to cram school every weekend, but also by herSpit outFor "that is."To supervise meIt's so annoyingFinish. After all,PreviousYunyunGo to cram schoolThe age is still youngbyAccompanied by grandparents, arrivedAfter the 4th grade, Mom and DadIn order to exercise her independenceBothLet her go alone
Plus,Entering puberty, Mom and DadWorried about her early love,Not onlyConstantly looking through her phoneEvery dayAlsoprovisionsFinish. It's time to get home。It makes her feel even moreThese caresLike, yesA kind of "surveillance"., in order to"Resistance".Deliberately going against your parents
Actually, it's not just YunyunMy parents didn't accompany me since I was a childWhileDissatisfactionNot adapted to their education。One in BeijingEducational institutionsAnnouncedFindingsDisplay,More than 3,000 primary and secondary school students were surveyedin,More than 56%.ofKidsRepresentation"Disgusted with parents".
Professor Li Meijin, an expert in adolescent psychologysaid", ".Problems that the child exhibitsRootsMostlyFrom parents
Typical 1: Talking and reasoning
Psychologyof"Overrun effect"., ieA stimulus is too much, too long, too strongand oftenIt's impatient, generatedRebellious mentality。And this one effect is put onParental education, that isGurgling reasoning
Such as:KidsJustAccidentally broke a cupParentsNot only willConstant criticismhimToo carelessand will beFiledhimCommitted in the pastofOther errors
In this way, it isLack of patiencechildrenI hate it even more and can't listen to my parentsofTeaching。LikeThinker Rousseausaid: ".The most useless way to educateThat's itKeep telling big truths and deliberately movingwithTantrums
Typical 2: Do everything, no freedom
China Youth Research CenterOne item that was postedFindingsdisplay, in ".The 12 behaviors that hate parents the most"Inside, exceptFirst in lineof"Regardless of the child"., with itOn the contraryof"Everything is done".thenIn second place
Parental onesParenting styleNot only will orderThe child loses independence and self-careofCapabilitiesAlsoLet the child loseFinish. Room to growwithFree。And even no lessA strong desire to controlofParentsExceptHandle children's food, clothing, housing and transportation, even hisStudy, friends, work, partneretcDon't let it go。And under this way of education,Loss of assertiveness and freedom for a long timeThe heart of the childBoth feltRepression, tooBoredom and hatred towards parents
Typical 3: Disrespecting children
Professor Li MeijinSaid:"EducationofPremise:YesRespect the child。"Because usuallyDisrespect for childrenofParents will criticize him in public, belittle him, and disapprove of himofWhat you thinketc
School of Psychology, Central China Normal UniversityAgainstChildren hate the way their parents educate them the mostofUnder investigationMore than 80%.ofChildren can't accept being criticized by the public90% hate parents comparing themselves to others, and these moves areIt stems from parents not giving their children enough respect, naturallyDon't careHisSelf-esteem, feelings, emotions
"Love Between Parents and Children".The book mentions: ".ParentswithKidsYesThe most intimate and loving each other in the worldofexists
However, manyEducational institutions, experts and scholarsofResearchYetConfirmedFinish. Parents do not have the right and appropriate educational philosophywithwayand oftenCausing children to regard their parents as "enemies"., bothDisgustAgainExclusion with parentsofGet alongorEducation
And that's rightRemindersFinish. Parents, adoptionScientific, correct and reasonableofEducational methodsYesIntimacy is guaranteedofParent-child relationshipofPremise:
First of all, don't be biased.
withIn 2016, the two-child policy was fully liberalized, quite a few families have beenThere are 2 of them, even3 children。And in such a situation,It is very important for parents to be able to achieve "a bowl of water".It's aboutKidswith parents, siblingsofrelationship, as wellThe child's own physical and mental health
, ieParents must not favor one child over the other, otherwisePamperedchildrenBecomes arrogant, domineering, and does not know how to be grateful to his parentsWhileNot to be pamperedchildrenInsecurityLow self-esteem, pleasing others,AlsoEasy to hate parentswithOther siblings。As the old saying goes"Don't suffer from few, but suffer from unevenness".Not conducive to family relationshipswithKidsofHealthy development.
Second, give your child plenty of company.
Yu Minhong, a senior education experttoYears of experience in educationProposed: "No matter what."SchoolsofHow good and important education isAlsoIt's just homeschoolingofSupplementsNothing more. WhileProfessor Li MeijinAlsothink, onlyGive your child enough companyParental talentsCloseness and dependence on having children, as wellConvincing
Whatever it isPlay with your child, learn, play sports, and develop various abilities, still togetherGo out to increase your knowledge and broaden your horizonsParentsBothTake plenty of timetoCorrect and appropriateofEducational methods, againWith patience and toleranceand so on, letThe child feels sufficientofLovewithThe teaching of scienceBonding with parents
Finally, be respectful and focus on communication and exchange.
Famous thinker Liang QichaothinkParents give their children the most preciousofWealthThat's itLovewithRespect。WhileCenter for Child Development, Harvard UniversityRightThere are many students on campus at Harvard UniversityConductedSurveysAfter the discovery,Growing up, he lived in a democratic, open-minded and respectful lifeofFamilyofStudents are more motivated, enthusiastic and cheerful, andEmotional intelligence is relatively highIt is very popular with students
Because of themKnow how to respect and understand the ideas of othersAlsoKnow how to stick to your bottom lineHave an independent selfofCharacter
At the same time, they areTalk about parents, also shownAdore, loveemotion. After all, usuallyBe able to respect, understand and tolerate childrenofParents are more able to make their children open upBelieve in your parents' teachings from the bottom of your heart, tooRespect them
And, whenChildren are willing to open up to their parentsbetween each otherofCommunicationThat's itSmoother。IfParents are willing to spend more time listening to their childrenofTelland become hisBest listener, then it can also be inBe the first to knowHisWhat you thinkGive rightofBootstrappingDraw each other closerofInner distance
Conclusion:
Education expert Yin JianlithinkWhether the parent-child relationship is good, usuallyIt's up to the parents to decide。"That is,Parents giveofFamily education, getting along attitudeetcImpactonKidsofPhysical and mental growthAlsoLeads to whether each other can be intimate and communicate smoothly。And that's every bitParentsBothIt must be taken seriouslyofthings
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