1 I went grocery shopping with my boyfriend this morning, and my shoelaces suddenly came loose.
He skillfully bent down to tie it for me.
An aunt selling vegetables next to me said enviously, "Ah, your boyfriend is so good to you, and he helps you tie your shoes......
It's not like the other side of our house, when I walk down the street, he won't help me lift my ...... when my pants fall off
Eldest sister, you are so strong!
2When I came back from class, I saw that my roommate was depressed, so I asked, "What's wrong?" Who bullied you? I'll help you hit him! Second roommate: "Really? Me: "Of course! The second roommate shouted happily: "Money, money bullies me, then you give me money!" ”
3 community of an aunt's bicycle was stolen, come to our store to see the surveillance, when I saw the thief in the unlock, the aunt yelled: Oh, the thief ** ran ......I rushed out, and I couldn't pull it!
4 girlfriends give me ** early. Tell me to hang out.
Girlfriend: Let's go, let's go out and have fun together today.
Me: I've quit and don't want to go out again. I want to make money for my parents, I want to make money to buy a house, I want to make money to see the world.
Girlfriend: Speak human words.
Me: No holiday.
5. Buy something online, because the express delivery is about to be on holiday, so when placing an order, I deliberately left a message: Please deliver it at least one day before the holiday!
Seeing that the express delivery arrived in the city, but it was not delivered, it was about to be on holiday, I had to call ** to the courier company to question, the courier brother was very aggrieved: "I just press your message, I have to wait until the day before the holiday to send it to you!" ”
6 One day a cat and a dog were arguing about who was the wisest animal. The cat said, "I can climb a tree, can you?" The dog replied, "No." The cat said, "I can see clearly in the dark, can you?" The dog replied again: "No." The cat said very proudly, "You see, I am the smartest." At this time, the dog replied: "Maybe you are the smartest, but do you know who opened the door and let you in?" ”
7 One day, a boy and his mother were walking in the park. The boy sees a butterfly, and he runs over to try to catch it. But every time he approached, the butterfly flew away. Finally, the boy sat on the ground and cried. His mother came up to him and asked him why he was crying, and the boy said, "I'll never catch that butterfly." Mom smiled and replied, "If you sit quietly, butterflies may land on you." ”
8 parents urged marriage, spent 8,000 to rent a girlfriend to take home, five days later she cried to pay me back 3,000 yuan and said, "I just agreed to pretend to be a girlfriend, but now I have to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning to make breakfast, and at night I have to clean up the dishes and chopsticks and wash clothes, really as a nanny, now the nanny in the city is not this price."
9When I came out after eating and saw two children of about five years old playing chess at the door, I took one look and said, "This little boy may still be playing, but the little girl is walking blindly, like where can she go!" ”
My friend Mr. Xu glanced at me and sighed: "People understand the truth when they are five years old, but you don't understand it at the age of twenty-five, you know why you are single......”
Ah, what a painful realization!
10When I came to this company for an interview after graduating from university, my boss said to me in a serious tone: although the salary is not much, you can get rapid growth here, which is the most important thing for young people. Now, two years have passed, the growth is really fast, the boss really didn't lie to me, I already look like a 40-year-old.
11 One of my classmates said that when he thought of working overtime during the Spring Festival every year, he tossed and turned at night and couldn't sleep until he secretly decided: he would go to the unit tomorrow to submit his resignation! When the sun rose the next day, he mustered up the courage to ——— go to overtime.
12My son, who was more than four years old and a snacker, asked me one day, "Mother, tell me the truth, how did I come here?"
I said, "One day it was raining heavily, and you were swept by the flood, and it just so happened that I saw it and picked it up."
Unexpectedly, the bear child said seriously: Oh, who asked you to pick it up, I went to Uncle Wang's house next door, and his house has a lot of delicious food.