Recently, a topic in the group sparked a big discussion among the sisters:Will there be retribution for a man who cheats?
The views of the sisters are divided into two factions:There are retributionists and non-retributionists.
There are scumbags of the sisters of the retribution faction, most of whom suffered from their careers after the betrayal, their income plummeted and they were riddled with diseases.
For example, a male guest cheated on an unmarried woman, but the third sister failed to take the position, and threatened the man to report to the unit, but later did not deal with it and tore his face, and the third sister found the Commission for Discipline Inspection with the evidence of his income.
There is also a case, after a few years of threesome, the man suffered a car accident, and the person disappeared directly, and his property was naturally returned to the original partner, and now she is suing the third sister to recover the property.
And the sisters who have no retribution, most of their husbands or ex-husbands were promoted after betrayal, and they were promoted and made rich, causing the sisters to feel that they were really unwilling to divorce at this time.
There are also sisters' father-in-law who have been cheating for more than ten years, and now there are two families, but they are full of children and grandchildren, and they are filial piety in front of each hall.
So, is there any retribution for a man's cheating?
Based on so many years of help and follow-up visits, I dare to say that a man who cheats must have retribution.
In the classic book of psychology "Social Animals", an experiment was written.
The scientists first asked a group of college students about their attitudes towards cheating, and they all said that cheating is shameful and that they would never cheat.
Then the scientists put them in an exam and told them that it was very important, about their graduation and their employment.
Then make the exam very difficult and put the tools for cheating very close.
In the exam, some students chose to cheat, while most did not.
When the test is over, ask them what they think about cheating, and you will find that those who have chosen to cheat on the test have changed their attitude towards cheating, and they feel:Cheating is excusable, especially if exams are important to you.
And those students who insist that they don't cheat are even more disgusted by cheating.
This experiment tells us that cheating is not as simple as going to bed once, but making his attitude towards cheating change as a whole.
After taking that step, they went from feeling shameful about cheating to feeling that cheating was excusable, and if they wanted to make cheating excusable, they had to keep finding reasons to defend themselves.
For example, I feel that I cheated because my marriage did not meet my needs;Or feel that the wife is not good enough to cheat.
And in order to make this reason also self-consistent, he began to keep goingDemeaning and criticalWife, tell me everything that happened 800 years ago.
He said that my mother's family was sorry for him when they got married. ”
He said that our family looked down on him, and he was too depressed to cheat. ”
You're too fat. (Because the third sister is a thin man, and the man used to like his wife's figure).
And the result of this is that in order to rationalize his cheating behavior, he firmly believes that his wife is not good enough and his marriage is in trouble.
So much so that even when he decided to break off the three returns, he couldn't find a reasonRe-self-consistent
This is the reason why many men will still be cold and violent, without guilt, even if they go home, and look at their wives left and right.
They weren't mean, but they had subconsciously decided that the marriage was suffocating him.
This is also the reason why many men will cheat for the second time.
You ask, isn't it true that a cheating man won't wake up one day?
Yes, but on two conditions.
Because behind all actions, there is oneMotivationto keep our hearts keptSelf-consistent
So, either this affair has made him extremely painful, or returning to the family will give him a lot of benefits, otherwise he iswill not actively deny any of their past behaviors and cognitions
When we have sorted out all this, have you noticed that derailment is really not as simple as taking a wrong step?
Every action triggers self-rationalization;
Each step of self-rationalization deepens our behavior;
And our actions, in turn, increase the sunk cost;
The sunk cost deepened, and we were unwilling to turn back;
There is no turning back, and we can only go to the dark head.
When the test of derailment comes, those who take a step, and those who restrain themselves, go to both ends of the pyramid in the future.
Although they have only taken a small step, their future will be farther and farther away.
Many sisters reported that after the man in their family cheated, they didn't know each other.
In the past, he was gentle and elegant, and his three views were very positive, but since he derailed, he has become hateful, and people around him avoid him.
The original circle of friends will alienate him, on the contrary, those who are also cheating, even PC, betting on B will surround him.
They went from sticking to loyalty, to being loyal conditionally;
From loving his family and loving his wife, he has become a nose and eyes on his wife;
From honesty and trustworthiness to a mouth full of lies;
From loving children, to thinking that it is okay to give child support;
From elegant interests to low-level fun.
He's changed, right?
Was it just an extramarital affair?
No, that step changed his core personality and made him unrecognizable.
Moreover, unless he experiences a particularly great catastrophe that forces him to deny himself completely, he will not be able to turn back until all his fortune has been consumed.
* is an extremely draining thing.
Anyone who has been in love knows that once a person is at the top of a relationship, he will ignore it and do a lot of things that are difficult for ordinary people to understand.
For example, in order to show love, drive for a few hours to deliver a love lunch;In order to enhance the relationship, travel is planned in many ways;In order to buy a lover's favor, send a car and a house.
And when they spend their energy on falling in love, it will inevitably affect their investment in the main business of life.
Maybe at first I feel that my self-confidence is bursting and I am very attractive, but the world is generally fair.
At the age of hard work, you go to fall in love and engage in private affairs between men and women, and the competitors are not fools, and they will inevitably be hit at the right time.
could have been promoted to the department level or bureau level, but the last section level was this remnant.
It could have been a family fortune to A8 or even A9, but it ended up in A7.
could have been free to wealth early, idle pension, and finally divorced hundreds of thousands of debts and started all over again.
This is just a loss of wealth, but also physical consumption.
There are many sisters in the sister group who are not good with their wives, but they are very good with Xiaochuan, and when they asked, it turned out that they were supported by small blue pills.
always said that when he was with San, it was a feeling of eternal youth, and he didn't rely on overdrawing his body.
Moreover, can the newly married daughter-in-law have the same heart with him?
Really in the ICU, can the new daughter-in-law be willing to take out the family resources to treat him?
It's not like signing the word and giving up**.
As for the ex-wife, or the current wife they hurt, it would be good not to pull out his oxygen pipe.
Want to die well?Which is so easy.
When he is able, of course, he feels like he is in control.
But when he went to the hospital,All his calculations and precautions were not worth the right to give up the rescue in his wife's hands.
This also told the original partners another thing:
If you don't want to get a divorce, you must live longer than scum.
I've always said that single-parent families can still raise sunny and happy children.
However, I don't sing the praises of single-parent families.
What child doesn't want their parents to love each other for the rest of their lives?
If the parents are models of love and affection, the atmosphere in which the child grows up is much better.
But most men after cheating talk about divorce, they will feel that divorce is divorce, and loving children is loving children, which are two different things.
They can still love their children after the divorce.
But what about the facts?After the divorce, there are many people who do not pay child support, do not come to see the children, and hide the children from their mothers.
When fathers are extremely irresponsible, we, as mothers, can only do our best to reduce the damage caused by divorce and cheating to our children.
There's no way around it.
The sins he has created in his children can only be mended by the mother.
Originally, the child could grow up carefree, but at a very young age, he saw the warmth and coldness of human affection and saw the tears in his mother's eyes.
As I said, many children from single-parent families have high emotional intelligence and are particularly strong in their ability to read words and feelings.
But this is the result of the child's own strong vitality and the mother's best efforts to protect it.
These can't hide the fact that Dad is irresponsible.
Childhood pain always needs to occupy the mental strength of children when they grow up to accept, be self-consistent and heal.
Many children don't come out until they're in their 30sLow self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and self-attributionof the pit.
Originally, 20+ could have taken off in his career, but 30+ was still screwing his jaw to show himself.
What is this, not iniquity?
When the children grow up, when they understand what happened at the beginning, how will they think of this ungrateful and treacherous father?
This is a matter between the child and the father, but as a wife, we have a clear conscience.
This is the path a man takes after cheating.
fell into the dust net by mistake and went for thirty years. - Tao Yuanming
May those men who cheat be good for themselves.