The Spring Festival is approaching, and the annual marriage urging drama will be staged on many men and women of appropriate age, parents are in a hurry, urging marriage is very strong, and even sometimes the soul torture of relatives makes people feel a headache.
Have you found a partner? ”
When are you going to get married? Is it decided? When will you bring it back to me? ”
Oh, I'm really uncomfortable to see you alone. ”
If you don't seize the opportunity quickly, no one will want to find it in middle age. ”
Do these words sound familiar? Does it remind you of some of the fears of being dominated by marriage urging? There may be no malice in these words in themselves, but when they speak, they are a headache.
Every time, you may only silently answer "not yet", "I haven't met the right one", "I'm still young, don't worry", or put on a posture of "I will be a good man again in eighteen years", and they will be gone.
If you are older, they will even give you some educational persuasion, but it is useless to be anxious about emotional matters, and in the face of parents' concern, we can't speak out, so as not to hurt their hearts, here are 6 tips to help you deal with it easily.
The first trick: turn a deaf ear
It is easy for us to be upset by our family members, and sometimes we will inevitably lose control of our emotions and have some conflicts with them.
We should try to keep ourselves emotionally stable and strictly control our words and deeds, arguing is not the only way to solve the problem, and it is easy for them to see it as a sign of "ignorance" and "unappreciation".
If you really can't stand the inquiries of your family, it is a good choice to hang up the "no war card" and avoid it from afar, you can choose to hang out with friends, or find an excuse to help your parents buy groceries, you can successfully avoid it.
The second trick: be vague
Do you still remember the movie that was popular all over the country, the impressive lines: "What plum" and "What plum is the horse".
In addition to basic operations such as "in a few years", "you are right" and "I will pay more attention" can also be used to deal with this type of problem, so that relatives cannot find a reason to say about you.
The third move: preemptively
During the Spring Festival, in the process of chatting with family members, we may talk about the topic of marriage, in the face of this situation, we can not panic, we can take the initiative, anti-customer-oriented, passive into active.
What needs to be made clear is that the preemptive strike is not aggressive, but requires us to take the initiative and seize the initiative. You can say, "I wanted to find it, but the object didn't look for me." "I want to get married, but look at that person, isn't he leaving again? ”
At this time, they will sympathize with you, "Oh, then take it slowly" and "Don't worry, take your time".
This trick requires us to follow their wishes, not to rush into it, to talk about their painful situation, and let them comfort you.
The fourth trick: steal the day
There are many topics to talk about, not limited to marriage, you can try to change the topic, so that the content of the conversation is no longer focused on marriage, and the topic of transfer can choose what they will pay attention to, such as "cousin's college entrance examination results", "pension problems", "aunt has a second child" and so on.
Be good at turning defense into offense, unconsciously transition the problem to different objects, and you can also take advantage of the situation to talk about other people's problems, remember not to rush this trick.
The fifth move: show the enemy to be weak
You have to tell them confidently that marriage is of course very important, but there are still a lot of important things you haven't done at the moment, and you can follow the following routine:
My conditions are so poor, can you help me introduce a few more, aunt? ", an ordinary person like me should live a life alone", "Why didn't I want to get married, but I didn't meet the right one, you don't want me to quarrel every day in the future, or even divorce, that will be laughed at, just find someone to marry, how to live this life".
Move with affection, know with reason, properly complain about their current situation, seek their comfort, and the more times, they will naturally restrain themselves.
The sixth trick: can bend and stretch
When you really can't withstand the inquiries of your relatives, it is better to simply follow their wishes, focus on a submissive, and join their discussion.
If you have the right person there, introduce me to it first. "I've been looking for it for a long time, and I have to trouble you to help me figure it out." "They will feel that they are needed, that you are trusted, that their inner thoughts are satisfied, and that they will often not continue to ask you.
In daily life, in the face of relatives and friends' urging to marry, don't hurt their hearts, but also stick to their bottom line, their mood of urging marriage is understandable, after all, they are people who really care about you, and they very much hope that you can find a suitable home. But true happiness is not imposed on us by the outside world, but after we get the support of the outside world, we choose by ourselves, and having a happy family atmosphere will definitely allow us to get the understanding and support of our families.
Marriage is the top priority in life, you must be cautious, don't give up your bottom line, don't make choices that you don't want to make easily, love yourself well and let romance come as soon as possible.