In life, everyone wants to be able to go a little smoother.
However, no matter how many people have the same starting point, the end point will be very different.
The reason for this is nothing more than the difference in size caused by the different choices of people and things, and it is these subtle choices that fluctuate the direction of fate.
"Mencius" has a saying: "People do something, but they don't do something." ”
A person who lives transparently, knows what to do and what not to do, focuses on himself, and is less nosy, which is the best self-discipline of a person.
There is a kind of cultivation called being nosy
I once saw such a little story:
A child was sitting on a bench eating candy when an adult suddenly walked up to him, squatted down and said to him:
Children, eating sugar is not good for your health. ”
The child looked at him and asked an irrelevant question: "Uncle, do you know why my grandmother lived to be 100 years old?" ”
The adult laughed, "Because she doesn't eat sugar." ”
The child shook his head: "No, because my grandmother is never nosy." ”
The story is short, but the truth is deep.
The poet Chen Yu wrote in "Bitter Yin": "Behind closed doors and in the month before the court, the plum blossoms are paid independently." ”
In this world, everyone has his own way of living, and everyone has his own joy.
It is the greatest disrespect to impose one's own understanding of happiness on the lives of others.
In fact, there are many things in life that are "your honey, his arsenic", and there are some detours, which is not a wonderful thing for others.
Chinese painting master Huang Yongyu and Qian Zhongshu used to be neighbors, and the two families were less than 200 meters apart.
But in the decades that the two have been neighbors, Huang Yongyu has only stepped into Qian Zhongshu's door twice.
Even if he needed to send something, he just contacted Qian Zhongshu and put it at the door, never bothering him too much.
Just because he knows that Qian Zhongshu likes to be alone, after he, a "rich idler", enters, it will disturb his purity.
They can talk in their free time and stay in balance when they're busy.
Not crossing the line, not exceeding the rules, is the secret recipe for the two to get along comfortably and have a stable friendship.
The poet Cangyang Gyatso said, "To respect others is to honor yourself." ”
Between people, too close to each other will inevitably be crowded, too far away and seem to be separated, only by maintaining an appropriate distance, can we make each other feel comfortable.
Many times, your good words are the misery of others.
Not being nosy, it seems to be cold and detached, but in fact, it is to give each other space to be themselves and let others be others.
A truly intelligent person knows how to get along with others, and understands that living a good life is the most important thing.
Just like Zheng Banqiao said: "Read more ancient books to open your eyes, and be less nosy and nourish your spirit." ”
If you are too busy, your troubles will come
Writer Shi Tiesheng said: "Some things in the world are mostly out of blind worries, and from blind worries to poor interference." ”
The things that come and go with people are always cut, and the reasoning is messy.
The more you interfere, the more trouble you get.
The two brothers, Zeng Guofan and Zeng Guoquan, were officials abroad, and their prestige and fame were extremely high, and the Zeng family became a big family with a head and face in Xiangxiang, Hunan.
Zeng Guofan's fourth brother relied on the status of the two elder brothers, meddling in the township and stretching around.
Neighborhood disputes, family shortcomings, weddings, funerals, and trivial matters in the township, he has to intervene.
The surrounding ** squires, relatives and friends in his hometown all trust his ability to do things, and he himself is even more happy.
But more and more people came to him for work, and after a long time, he became seriously ill due to overwork.
Zeng Guofan repeatedly admonished the fourth brother not to "provoke people to talk about it and give birth to rumors".
After learning that his younger brother was sick, Zeng Guofan also wrote to him to tell him that after recovering from his illness, it was another pleasure to put away the signboard of idle things and grow vegetables and raise fish.
Zeng Guofan's constant persuasion made the Zeng family lose a lot of right and wrong, and the prosperity and glory of a hundred years were extended.
"Caigen Tan" has a saying: "Fu Mo is blessed with few things, and disaster is not bad because of many hearts." ”
The gun always shoots the first bird, and the knife slashes at the snake first, and there is too much busybody, and trouble will come up.
In this world, there is a cycle of cause and effect, each with its own reward, and if you intervene in the cause and effect of others, you will bear the fate of others, and in the end, what you will lose is yourself.
Not all people know how to be grateful, and only he can define whether a person's life is good or bad.
If you are too busy, your help will become a matter of course, and your sympathy will be considered noble-eyed.
There needs to be a bottom line in life, and there must be principles in helping others.
Not being nosy is a sign of respect for others and kindness to oneself.
Focus on yourself and be accepting of others
Tao Yong, an ophthalmologist at Chaoyang Hospital in Beijing, once consulted a 13-year-old girl with cataracts.
In order to cure her, the girl's father sold all his family property, quit his job to make a living, and devoted all his energy to the girl.
The hospital sympathized with the family and waived part of the operation fee for them, but Tao Yong accidentally bumped into the scene of the father stealing money.
Tao Yong is also a father himself, and in the face of this father's actions, he was surprised, but he did not disdain.
He understands that no one wants to do such a thing unless he is desperate.
Later, when the father and daughter came to the doctor again, they met an old lady who fell down the stairs.
The girl's father didn't say a word, and ran to the emergency room with the old man on his back to bandage and fix.
The world is very big, there is more than one kind of life, and everyone has their own obscurity and purity.
There is a saying: "Whenever you want to criticize someone, remember that not everyone in this world has those advantages that you have." ”
The more people who have seen the world, the more they know how to respect every life.
There is a word in Buddhism called acceptance.
Recognition of enjoying one's own life also allows acceptance of the existence of other lifestyles.
The best courtesy to be a man is to meddle with other people's affairs; The best way to live in life is to focus on yourself.
Other people's affairs are supervised by law and morally constrained, and it is a burden for everyone to be overly disturbed and worry about everything, and it is best to keep a distance and attention.
People who are truly self-disciplined know how to self-denial and self-discipline.
Life is only 30,000 days, energy and time are limited, and if your hand is stretched too long, there is no room to do your own thing.
Don't take care of idle things, and improve people when they are idle.
Taking care of oneself first, and then caring for others moderately, is the greatest wisdom of a person's life.
In the "Warning Maxims", it is said: "Everyone sweeps the snow in front of the door, and does not care about the frost on the tiles of others." ”
The right distance is the most comfortable, the communication that knows how to measure is the longest, and the principled life is the smartest.
Respecting other people's differences is cultivation, and managing one's own life well is cultivation.
Concentrate on self-control, idle and less trouble, let the world be complicated, I am self-satisfied.
I hope you and I can focus on doing our best, don't care about others' affairs, be in a good mood every day, and get better and better!