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Hilarious and exciting, I am "little him", welcome to watch "Joke Collection".
no.1、
Today, a student with a very poor grade came to me and said, "Teacher, can you give me a score of 90 on this exam?" “
I said angrily, "I usually tell you not to study well. “
The student cried and said, "My parents said that if they can't score 90 points in the test this time, they won't take me out on a trip!" ’
I taught, "That's not okay, it's dishonest." ”
The student said, "Teacher, could you please give me a score of 90 this time?" In the future, 10 points will be deducted from my test results each time.
Full marks. ”Hey! You're a fucking talent! 」
no.2、
In junior high school, the ** teacher who had just come to our class for internship asked as soon as he started class: "Students, what do you all like?" The students said in unison, "Teacher, we like the bell after class!" ”
no.3、
In chemistry class, the teacher explained the relationship between solvents and solutes, and the teacher said: a certain amount of solvent can only dissolve a certain amount of solvent, for example, solvents are like stomachs, solutes are like meals, you can eat a second bowl if you eat one bowl, but the third bowl is full after eating, can you still eat it?
Suddenly, a student asked the teacher: Teacher, do you still have any dishes?
The teacher ...... blankly
no.4、
In the afternoon, between classes, a petite beauty in the class was wiping the blackboard. Because he is not tall, there is a large area that cannot be wiped on tiptoe. The way she worked hard made me protective! Without saying a word, I walked up and said to her kindly, "Let me help you." She was very touched and said, "Thank you." ”
Then I put my arms around her waist and lifted her up.
no.5、
One day, a teacher was teaching his own experience and experience: "Students! Once you have a cold and your nose is stuffy and you can't breathe, there is a simple and effective way, that is, if your left nose is stuffed, please sleep on the right side, and sleep on the left side with the right nose stuffed, so that your nasal congestion will get better. ”
Suddenly, a classmate stood up and asked, "Teacher, do you have two noses?" ”
no.6、
In Chinese class, the teacher asked, "In ancient times, what were the ways to call 'me'?" ”
The students replied: "I, Yu." ”
Xiao Ming shouted: "Widow, I,"
The teacher ignored him and asked, "What else?" ”
Xiao Ming shouted again: ".The old man, the poor monk, the poor road,
The class was already laughing.
no.7、
The high school rules that classes start at eight o'clock, and the teachers are very demanding.
One day, when a buddy was late, the teacher was very upset and angry: See for yourself what time it is!
The buddy shuddered and repliedSeven sixty-two!
no.8、
When I was a senior in my senior year, I went downstairs after a day of self-study, thinking that the person in front of me was a roommate, so I secretly ran up and kicked him in the ass, and shouted, "You actually came from Xi?" “
The man rubbed his ass and looked back at me pitifully, trembling and saying, "Yes." “
After a few seconds of eye contactI was hesitating how to apologizeThe man replied: "Big brother, I'm a freshman, and I won't dare in the future!" “
no.9、
The principal was passing by the back door of the school one day and suddenly heard a sentence: "I want to take the Oxford exam!" ”
The principal was immediately moved, he didn't expect that there were such aspiring young people in their school, and decided to see who it was?
Suddenly, I heard another sentence: ".Give me two more strings of big waists!
no.10、
In the morning, Mr. Zhang walked into the classroom and was very happy to see that the children were learning consciously. He walked up to the podium and suddenly saw a palm-sized note on it, he opened it and saw that it was written in neat block letters: Hello, Mr. Zhang! Time is like an arrow, the years are rushing, the stars are changing, and the seasons are changing. The autumn breeze is cool, everything is withering, the fruits are fragrant, and the grains are abundant. Study hard every day, dare not relax, revitalize China, and have a bright future. The teacher's grace is unforgettable, forever in the chest, leisurely in my heart, heaven and earth together. As the saying goes, since ancient times, nobles have forgotten many things, only because they are in this mountain. Gossip and stop, I ask you: When you borrowed my red pen to correct your homework last Friday morning, when will you pay it back?
Hahaha, well written! ）
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