The charm of people not only exists in the objective value visible to the naked eye, but also depends to a greater extent on how to manage one's own personality.
In other words, even if you are not capable and outwardly good-looking, you may still be able to manipulate the other person – because your charisma is not only limited to your value itself, but also depends on what you do in the relationship.
The same goes for the other way around:Although you are good enough in all aspects, repeating certain actions that are cheaper will also make your original perfect score of charm greatly diminished, which is tantamount to chronic self-destruction.
Both men and women can quickly get their heads down by the following behaviors:
No one wants to be with someone with negative energy all the time, whether it's your lover or your friend.
Appropriate comfort and encouragement are indeed the privileges of intimacy, but it is necessary to master frequency and proportion.
There is a threshold for people's emotions, no matter how close two people are, there is also a sense of bottom line and boundary, and excessive demand for emotional value is a kind of moral kidnapping-style searching.
Emotional pressure belongs to the part of human rejection, love comes after instinct, when he wants to escape from the status quo, love or not love you can no longer be stopped.
Not being happy in a relationship is likely to be just a one-sided statement from the victim's point of view.
Contrary to the beneficiary mentality, the victim mentality can trap you in a whirlpool of self-pity and not be able to think rationally and objectively about the problem itself.
Because you have established the premise,That is: no matter what happens, the other party's purpose is to let me down and hurt me, and I am the worst person in the world.
If you want to add sin, there is no excuse. With a premise, you're just putting all the problems on the victim formula.
At this time, you are more like a child who cries when you can't get it, and what makes you uncomfortable is not the failure itself, but the anxiety of expecting the other party to coax you and redeem you.
So when you encounter any contradictions, you don't want to solve them, let alone improve and progress because of them, but focus on venting your emotions + seeking comfort.
To put it bluntly, it's still emotional blackmail, and if you have too many times, it will only make people feel tired.
Romantic relationships are like inspections of your superiors to your subordinates, especially in terms of inconsequential details.
Said didn't say good night, didn't pick up **, is it reported anytime and anywhere. Such detailed control is accurate to the moment, and uses all methods to put pressure on the other party.
But when it comes to issues of principle, such as derailment and cold violence, but he is not willing to punish, he would rather compromise and forgive, and let his self-esteem be trampled on.
You're just going in the opposite direction:What smart people need to do is to get along with human nature, but also have a solid framework for self-preservation.
It's perfectly fine to be straightforward about your legitimate needs and to say ugly things first.
On weekdays, although smiling, give each other a harmonious experience; Once the other party violates your bottom line, you have to fight back forcefully.
The so-called "strong" is not that you control the details a lot, but that you do not lack a sense of security in small things, and you do not lose stability in big things, and get along with each other through non-humble and non-arrogant behavior.
Because the more attractive a person is, the more relaxed he is in his relationship, and there is no need to be overly controlled. This loose ** is her self-confidence.
All in all, one of the winning methods in love is to give sweetness on weekdays, but when it comes to personal interests, you will never be soft.
On the other hand, they are babbling and frightened every day, holding a magnifying glass to wonder if the other party loves themselves, and they are basically little girls who are completely on the passive side of the relationship.
Only the fate of being sympathized with, not charming.
Love, emotion, love spicy, emotional review award, emotional firm
I am a profound, national second-level psychological counselor, translator of the book "Nonviolent Communication · Translator of "Gender Chapter", member of Dalian Psychological Association, 34 years old, married with children, willing to share my attitude