The funny joke is coming:
Hello everyone: Welcome to the 100% funny joke collection to make you (high) laugh for a day!
no.1、
The son asked, "Mom, when was I born?" ”
Mom said, "At noon." ”
The son said, "I'm sorry, Mom, I delayed your meal." ”
no.2、
A young couple in a sweet period.
The boyfriend said, "Honey, we've been talking all day, I'm so sleepy and ready to sleep." “
The girlfriend said: "I can't sleep, and the cabbage still needs to continue to arch." “
The boyfriend said, "I'm sleepy, or you can find a way to help me refresh myself." “
The girlfriend said, "This is a simple ......You fart yourself and smell it, and you won't be sleepy. “
no.3、
One day, a few buddies met for tea, and one of them told us a joke. I thought to myself, isn't this the story of the old king next door? So I hurried home.
When I got home, I rushed through the door and immediately told my wife a joke: "Do you know why our butts are split in half vertically instead of horizontally?" - Because if you divide horizontally, you will hear applause when you go downstairs. ”
As a result, my wife couldn't help but laugh, but a man's laughter came from the other bedroom, and I immediately became angry, picked up the broom and went straight to the room to see who this old king was? When I opened the door, I was dumbfounded: "Dad, when did you come back?" ”
At that time, my father-in-law saw that I was angry, so he said, "It seems that my son-in-law welcomes me?" ”
At that time, I was embarrassed, and quickly explained to my father-in-law: "Dad, it's not what you think, I'm here to clean up." ”
Haha, I'm laughing to death! ）
no.4、
A friend of mine is a well-known love brain, and suddenly said to me, "I recently had a girlfriend. ”
I said, "Oh, don't get cheated out of money again. “
My friend said, "I'm not so stupid now, it's okay to cheat me about my feelings, but you can't cheat me out of money." “
I joked, "What's the matter, shouldn't you be impressed for three days?" “
The brother said proudly: "I can love a few people in my life, but I can't make a few dollars." “
It made me laugh at the time, what a painful realization, haha!
no.5、
There is a buddy around me, who was naughty since he was a child, and broke his front teeth, we all called him "broken teeth", and one day he went to the park to tell fortunes: "Master, please help me calculate the marriage." “
The fortune teller said, "Stretch out your hand, and I will see your palmistry......."Looking up, I looked at the ...... faceOpen your mouth, I'll look at my mouth, well, I'm afraid you'll have to 5000! “
The buddy was not happy to say at the time: "It's not 50 hexagrams, how come I became 200." “
The fortune teller said unhurriedly: "Your marriage is related to feng shui, so the fee is 200, and the package is cured, and you will get married before the year." “
When the buddy heard this, he said, "Hey, I'd like to hear it, you say come and see." “
The fortune teller said: "Your teeth are not good, you laugh and leak air, drink water and leak, you can't keep women, you have to fill your teeth, turn right at the intersection in front of you and go 200 meters on the second floor There is a dental hospital, you can be cured." “
The buddy regretted it at the time and said: "It took 200 to get such a sentence, master, you are a fortune teller, you are simply a drag in the dental hospital." ”
Oops, I'm dripping mom, I'm laughing to death: my teeth are bad, my laughter leaks, I drink water and leaks, and I can't keep women
no.6、
A few friends sat together drinking tea.
A friend asked, "When someone else says something that makes you feel the most helpless and powerless?" ”
Lao Zhang said: "Wang fried! There's only one card left! ”
Brother Li joked: "Who still plays the landlord now, I think it should be: you rushed a few chickens, eight cylinders have not yet drawn, just touched the cards to draw the cards, the next family came to the sentence: 'Touch!' ’。
Oh! Haha, you're laughing at me!
no.7、
I went on a date with a girl in the park at night, and I was usually a person who was not good at expressing myself, so I was inevitably nervous with someone I liked, and the two of us sat on the bench and didn't talk to anyone......
At this time, a stinky tofu seller passed by on the road, and I said slowly: "I want to eat tofu!" ”
turned his head and was about to ask the girl, but he saw the girl slowly unbutton her blouse, lowered her head and said shyly, "Well......."Don't touch it for too long! ”
I was like, "Oh my God, this is going to work, hehe!"
no.8、
My wife came home and said to me, "Today I saw a blind man on the street, so I gave him 100 yuan." ”
My husband said mockingly: "The current fake blind people are all liars, and there are many people like you who have been deceived." ”
The son said, "No, Daddy, because the blind man said Mommy is beautiful!" ”
My husband dispelled his doubts at the time and said, "Then he is really blind!" I actually said that you were beautiful. ”
My wife reacted and said, "Dead ghost, what do you mean, it means that I am ugly." “
no.9、
I used to eat breakfast in the downstairs restaurant, because **, I haven't eaten breakfast for almost a month. Today, I met the owner of the restaurant and talked to him about health, and the boss said, "Do you know what the impact of those of you who have not eaten breakfast for a long time is?" ”
I shook my head and said, "I don't know." ”
The boss said in a hearty voice: "It affects our business." ”
I was at the timeI'm so confused
no.10、
At the sports meeting, there was a classmate who had a cramp in his running leg and was lying on the ground half-dead, and the classmate ran over to rub his leg, good guy, it was a fierce rub and rub it for about five or six minutes, and the classmate lying on the ground slowly opened his eyes and said six words: "It was the leg that was pumped." ”
---end--- This article is a plain text funny paragraph, only for entertainment, if there is bad guidance, please understand!
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