It is written in "Zengguang Xianwen": "People are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden." ”Is being a good person a good thing or a bad thing? It seems that the jury is never conclusive.
In fact, kindness is not only a quality, but also a wisdom. When you meet someone who is very vicious to yourself and who poisons society, you have to turn your face with him and blindly indulge others, which is to hurt yourself and help the abuse.
Reality tells you that no matter how kind you are, you must have a sharp edge, turn your face when it is time to turn your face, and don't be afraid of offending people. For some people, it is a good thing to be offended.
But have you thought about it? Anyone who turns against you will later become an enemy, and it is possible to "take revenge" and bring hatred to the next generation or to the relatives around you.
"Turning the other cheek" is to take into account the consequences, not to consider its "extremeness".
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Wu Zixu's family originally made a living in Chu State, and his father Wu Hao was the prince and concubine of Chu State. Because the prince was framed, Wu Hao was implicated and brought disaster.
Wu Zixu tried his best to escape to the state of Wu, and helped the state of Wu to attack the state of Chu and obtained a lot of land. When there was a war between Wu and Yue, Wu Zixu offered a plan, and the war was a great success, and Goujian, the king of Yue, surrendered.
It stands to reason that Wu Zixu is a great hero of the Wu State, and he should be rewarded and supported for the rest of his life.
However, Wu Zixu was upright and had the overall situation in mind, so he offended Bo Yao, who was an official in the same dynasty, and the fate of people once again took a huge turn.
Originally, both of them were from Chu State, and their father was an official in Chu State, so they were fellow countrymen and world friends; They were all abused in the state of Chu, and they turned around in a big circle before they took refuge in the state of Wu. Let's help Wu become bigger and stronger.
Since Fucha became the king of Wu, Wu Zixu and Bo Yao's ideas have diverged, and their character has also gone to two extremes. Wu Zixu advocated destroying Yue in one breath and not being soft-hearted; Bo Yao believes that it is necessary to unite the Qi country and destroy the Yue together.
For the sake of personal interests, Bo Yao tried his best to slander Wu Zixu: "He is a violent person, a little gracious, and a thief, and his resentment may be a deep disaster." ”
In the end, Wu Zixu wants to fight Bo Yao to the end and get rid of the opponent, or should he avoid and stay away. He was very hesitant, because he had feelings for his family and country in his chest, and finally chose to retreat step by step.
The husband sent Wu Zixu to envoy to the Qi State, which meant that the two countries would unite and do great things together.
Wu Zixu knows that there is more luck in this trip, and Bo Yao will make trouble behind his back, and the specific means are not very clear. So, he brought his son to the country of Qi, hoping to keep his flesh and blood.
When Wu Zixu returned to Wu State, the wicked people of Bo Yao sued first"The husband is a minister, he is unhappy inside, he relies on the princes outside, he thinks he is the adviser of the previous king, and he is useless now, and he often resents the martingale. ”
In other words, a minister sent his son to another country, and what kind of loyalty he talked about, maybe he secretly colluded with Qi Guo to do something hurtful to heaven and reason.
In this regard, Wu Zixu was given "self-slaughter".
British Prime Minister Palmerston once said, "There are no permanent friends, only eternal interests." ”Kind people, after turning their faces with others, must learn to "deal with the aftermath" and don't leave future troubles. Because your opponents, driven by interests, will not be too polite to you, and if you are hesitant and indecisive, you will lose the "initiative".
There is a hexagram in "Zhou Yi": "Ba Mao Ru, with its Hui, Zhenji, Heng." ”To deal with problems, we must pull out the roots and take away the same kind as if we were pulling out thatch, so that we will be auspicious and prosperous. Instead of being like Wu Zixu, he drove himself to a dead end.
For those who turn their faces, these four points should be done to avoid the continuous arrival and escalation of disasters.
First, keep your distance and let the other party "can't reach the whip".
If there are several people around you who are enemies, and you still insist on fighting them, there will be a situation where "one punch is hard to beat four hands". And, the more you insist, the more you hurt. Only by leaving this land can you escape all this.
For example, many people who used to live in the countryside have a deep hatred for their neighbors, but after they moved to the city, the hatred was resolved. Everyone does not live in the same community, there is no conflict of interest, big and small, out of sight.
Second, take the initiative to reconcile and turn hostility into friendship.
When you meet someone who is not very vicious, then you are more tolerant of him and actively help him, and the previous conflict will disappear and be replaced by friendship - .
Influencing the villain, it looks incredible, but it is actually a merit.
Many villains, when he saw the people around him, were "cold-eyed", and he was very cold. You give him a little warmth and encouragement, and his fate may be rewritten because of it. At the beginning, if you turn against him, you will also get his understanding.
Third, learn to endure and build a harmonious situation.
Wu Zixu is a wise man, but because he has made different suggestions to his husband again and again, his overly masculine behavior has no benefit to him at all.
People are under the eaves and have to bow their heads.
If you are destined to be unable to avoid someone who may bring disaster, then take the initiative to bow your head, admit your mistake, and invite the other party to a meal. You have been wronged, but you have found peace. Take a step back, which is the stop loss.
Fourth, keep thinking about it, and don't get along with each other.
If you are a strong person, then keep your posture all the time and use your momentum to suppress others so that they dare not hurt you.
Since you've turned your face, it's better to keep turning your face. It's just that you have to have such a skill, otherwise once the other party is stronger than you, disaster may come, and you need to find another way to deal with it.
When the interruption continues, the reverse will be chaotic", and the most feared thing in dealing with contradictions is "dragging mud and water", leaving hidden dangers, and there will be endless troubles in the future.
In the "Three Character Classic", it is written: "At the beginning of man, his nature is good. ”Human nature is originally good, but in order to get benefits and chase fame, the true face of people may be lost.
There is certainly nothing wrong with your insistence on kindness, but you have to move with the camera, take the initiative to adapt to the environment, and survive in the cracks.
Choose whether to regress or progress, and to be clean.
People with great wisdom take one step and see three steps. He will not turn his face with others at will, and he will not put himself in a dangerous place because of turning his face.
May you, after turning your face, still have a smile on your face.