The poem says: "Whoever teaches the narrow road happens to meet, and the veins are clear." ”
In this life, no one can say clearly who they will meet and who they will fall in love with.
How many hurdles does a marriage have to go through before it can achieve positive results; How many days and nights do you have to endure to get married?
So, when fate is destined for the future, don't sit and wait; When marriage comes, don't wait and see. Opportunities are reserved for those who are prepared, and even more so for those who are courageous.
Everyone must be the ferryman of the soul, in order to firmly grasp the marriage of fate, from young to old, from this shore to the other shore.
In the twelfth volume of "West Lake Episode II"., wrote about a pair of young people, born in the Southern Song Dynasty. They were able to break with secular prejudices and, through free love, created".Feng Xiao Jia HuiAllusions. Its practice is worthy of our study and reference.
First, learn a skill and make a living.
During the Jiaxi period of the Southern Song Dynasty,Fujian boy Pan Yongzhong, went to Lin'an with his father and lived in a hotel in Liubuqiao. My father got a job in Lin'an City.
In addition to reading, Pan Yongzhong took out the flute he had brought with him and blew out a beautiful sound. Opposite the hotel is the Huang family compound - rich and powerful aristocrats.
The Huang familyMiss Huang Xingchun, Hearing the sound of the flute, I couldn't help but go upstairs, open the window, and take a look. When the eyes are intertwined, love is born.
On the surface, it was Xiao's voice that attracted Huang Xingchun's attention, and fundamentally, it was Pan Yongzhong's determination to pursue fame and his life plan that increased his charm.
No matter how good fate is, if there is no "economic foundation, family business" to maintain, it will not work.
A man can not have a house or a car, but he cannot be spineless and have no ability to make money. It's not impossible to fall in love with a poor boy, but it's impossible to accept the reality of being poor all your life.If you want to meet the right person, you must first learn a craft to make a living. As a man, you have to raise whoever you want to marry. As a woman, you have to help whoever you want to marry.
Second, write a book and convey affection.
After a month of "looking at each other", Pan was as anxious as an ant in a hot pot. He wanted to know if the woman in the Huang family's compound was in love with him.
In a hurry, he wrote a poem: "If you are satisfied, you hate more than the golden emblem." And wrote on the silk scarf, wrapped the silk scarf with a small pebble, shook his hand, and threw it into the courtyard.
Huang Xingchun picked up the silk scarf, and then wrote a reply in the same way. After coming and going, the two of them expressed the decision of "don't marry unless you don't marry, don't marry if you don't marry".
Li Qingzhao said: "Whoever sends the brocade book in the clouds, when the goose character returns, the moon is full in the west building." ”In the era when there were no mobile phones, the best way to convey emotions was probably to "write love letters".
In the age of the Internet, you can reach each other at your fingertips. But love letters are still indispensable. At the very least, you have to say a few words of love.
Many people, when they meet someone they like, don't know how to speak, or don't dare to speak, so they miss the marriage.
Learn some skills in romance and say a few touching words, although it seems hypocritical, but it has played a role in fueling love.
Third, choose a city and grow old.
Huang Xingchun wrote to Pan Yongzhong: "No matter what, my parents will not approve of me marrying a foreigner. ”
Pan Yongzhong said: "As long as I get married, I will always live in Lin'an, and I can also be rich." ”
Two people who love each other can't be in love all the time, they always have to choose a place to settle down, buy a house, and make money. If someone keeps saying "I love you", but can't always decide to start a family, it is likely to be "casually said".
There is a saying that good iron does not nail, and good men do not recruit relatives.Ask yourself, how many men can leave their families and join women for love? Although, door-to-door sons-in-law are also common, but most of them are men with poor family backgrounds.
Choosing a city to die in is not only an oath, but also a responsibility and responsibility.
Fourth, hand over one person and be a matchmaker.
During the Song Dynasty, marriage paid attention to "the life of the parents and the words of the matchmaker".
Pan Yongzhong wanted to propose, but he didn't know how to speak. After all, his status is humble and his economic strength is not strong.
Just when he was at a loss, his friend Yan Zhongju, who was studying together, invited him to drink tea and chat. The most amazing thing is that Yan Zhongju lives in the Huang family.
Naturally, Yan Zhongju became a matchmaker.
With the passage of time, we are all accustomed to free love, but there are still many matchmakers. Many young people, who they fall in love with, are embarrassed to speak, and they will also ask friends to spread the word. From a certain point of view, the messenger is also a matchmaker.Some words, when they come to the lips, cannot be spoken; Some thoughts, in my heart, but I don't know where to start. Therefore, it is much easier to find a reliable friend and pass on emotions.
If you're dating online, then the internet is your matchmaker. We often refer to the Internet as a "medium", which reflects the particularity of matchmakers.
Fifth, get married after a hurdle.
Just when the two young people were in love, Pan Yongzhong's father decided to move away from Liubu Bridge.
Seeing that he was about to be separated from his sweetheart, Pan Yongzhong could only tell the truth to his father; At the same time, Huang Xingchun expressed his marriage proposition through Yan Zhongju.
In the end, Pan Yongzhong became a son-in-law, and passed the scientific examination and entered the officialdom.
Whether the marriage is successful or not, it has to be finalized by the parents, and some sense of ritual is required. Therefore, the hurdle of parents must be passed; The hurdles of firewood, rice, oil and salt have to be passed for a lifetime.After getting married, we still have to go through the "seven-year itch", facing children crying and laughing, parents getting old and sick, and housing and car loans.
If you don't have a long-term plan, then after you get married, you will immediately get into trouble.
Many couples get divorced, not only because they have no money, but also because they have no sense of direction.
The hurdles of a lifetime can be crossed, so the signs of growing old together are obvious from the day they get married.
There is a popular song called "Crossing Love".
"The beautiful scenery of the West Lake is in March, and the spring rain is like wine and willows. Ten years of repair can be crossed in the same boat, and a hundred years of repair can be slept together. If there is a thousand years of creation, the white head is concentric in front of you. ”The origin and extinction seem to be accidental, but in fact, there is a fixed number, and they are all self-created endings.
People who truly love each other are not who gives whom roses, but sow rose seeds together, water, fertilize, and wait for the flowers to bloom.
The roses that were bought, withered, were gone; The roses that were planted withered and will bloom again in a short time.
The roses bloom every year, and people love each other every year.
In life, how good the heart is, how good the life is.